Summa Discordia / Apocrypha Discordia

For my own satisfaction, I wish to review two marvelous post-Principia Discordian holybooks!

Principia Discordia

But to start with, I should mention Principia Discordia, or How I Found Goddess And What I Did To Her When I Found Her, th Magnum Opiate of Malacylpse th Younger - th first written utterances in modern times sent up to honor Goddess Eris, composed in th late 1950s & largely ignored in its time. This book contains th only canonical (if you can call it that) info about Discordianism. It introduces Eris worship through th authors' own psychedelic revelation at a bowling alley, pokes lots of fun at organized religion, provides suggestions for chaotic & ludicrous Discord, & even throws in some inspired philosophical bits. & all this appears amongs dozens of silly pictures, jokes & puns & Erisian Nonsense. It advocates Nonsense as Salvation, th Adoption of Holy Names, th use of a Discordian Calendar, th use of th Sacred Chao as a religious icon. It introduces some wacky fictional apostles, th Curse of Greyface, th Turkey Curse, tips for member initiation & th forming of independent cabals, & of course th Law of Fives (All things happen in Fives, or are divisible by or are multiples of Five, or are somehow directly or indirectly appropriate to 5). & all along it raises th paradoxical questions, "Is this Serious or just a Joke?"

Of course, th only appropriate answer to questions like that is Mu.

(After all, All affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false and in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.)

Th Principia changed my life & lots of others as well.

Lately, Discordianism has found a new life on th internet, where scores of strange folk have developed th basic ideas in th Principia through email lists & websites & found it quite applicable to th 90s & th new millenium. In addition to dozens of websites, a number of "holy books" have cropped up, all "kopylefted" - published with permission granted for anybody to do with it whatever th heck ey wants - "all rights reversed".

So I bought a few newer holybooks online & have been gradually reading them. Some I found too serious (th Books of Eris), too boring (A Pocket Full of Chaos), or too pointless (Apotheosis Psycherotica). I enjoyed these all somewhat, but I didn't find them exceptional.

Summa Discordia

However, just yesterday, I found myself totally enthralled by th Summa Discordia by th Beatus Ffungo. It really feels like it picks up where th Principia leaves off, but of course, forty years later. Th Beatus writes in a very smart, readable & humorous style, walking th same line th Principia walks between seriousness & comedy. I laughed out loud several times & found myself quite inspired by th book's empowering message of nonconformity. Where th Principia talks about Nonsense as Salvation, th Summa talks about th Functionality of th Strange. Ffungo derides THEM & th System & reveals to us that th Defamation League is trying to pass cabbages off as humans. "Why they are doing this is uncertain, but keep in mind these are some of the same people who said you'd go to hell for spanking the monkey."

Try going to a mall, for instance. Sit in the Food Court and just watch people. You'll start seeing the difference [between humans & cabbages] pretty quickly, and, if you're in a typical mall, about 85% of the ambulatory things you see will secretly be cabbages. If you can, sneak a quick third-eye glance just to confirm it, but don't let them catch you.

Th Summa is a great short read, but, like all other post-Principia holybooks I've encountered, its layout isn't as fun as th Principia's. Don't let that get you down. I think you'll enjoy it.

Some other highlights: Discordian Haiku, an interview with a Famous Guy (Jesus), th Mentos Conspiracy, a thoughtful discussion of Discordian Holy Names, & a very brief introduction to Operation Mindfuck.

Apocrypha Discordia

This 100-page compilation of Discordian writings provides a great variety of new ideas. I don't find it as consistently brilliant as th Principia & th Summa, but I uncovered some real gold in there. It features some ideas for Discordian ceremonies & rituals (A Mouse Banishing Ritual, an Invocation of Eris, a ritual for invoking th five Discordian Elements - sweet, boom, pungent, prickle & orange, etc.). Some of that seems to take itself too seriously, but that's a risk you take with things like that.

I particularly enjoyed th elaboration on Operation Minkfuck, which they also call Guerrilla Surrealism. Th Apocrypha describes several "Jakes," which are something like Discordian magic(k) spells intended to randomly baffle innocent bystanders (& minions of Greyface/cabbages) & create ultimately positive Eristic Vibrations. An example: mailing someone hundreds of identical sheep-shaped erasers anonymously, one at a time, with a written number on each mailing counting down from 203. (Oddly, this section claims to originate in th Summa Discordia, but I don't have it in my copy. I think th editor of my version of th Summa may have missed some things in tranferring th book from th internet to print.)

Th Apocrypha contains lots of unrelated ideas, like rules for Discordian card games, short silly parables, a luck spell, an intro to Discordian Magick, some alchemy, some interviews with fictional characters, & a description of a Discordian Tarot deck (no pics). A low point, in my opinion: some uninspired rants that don't necessarily reflect th positive spirit of Discordianism.

There's so much stuff in th Apocrypha that anyone interested in things Discordia will surely find something pleasant & amusing.

FNORD

FYI: All of these books can be found at Oh My Eris Dot Com, plus several other holybooks that I haven't gotten yet. In fact, there are at least a half dozen more listed there now than th last time I peeked. I imagine there are a few more gems & a few more bores. I'll let you know when & if I come across another of th former.

tiffoon day & morrow fly

Tiffany played her hour-long graduate bassoon recital this day (technically yesterday), April 1, which thus rocked this year for three good reasons. I proclaim myself thirsty for a glass of water.

Tiffany played good excellent.
I enjoyed it way lots.
Bassoons exude ultimo sexiness.

I fly on th aeroplane in th morrow (technically th today) & will dance about in Troy-town for a few days. I look forward to a silly spring breakus with localities & whatnots. Let's have magical tumblings & togethertastic atrocious monsters of id.

ON AN OILY MOON

I stopped by Mercury Cafe last night for th poetry open mic, & found out that I'd have a much larger & more attentive audience at this place if I were a poet & not a songwriter. Th whole scene amused me, & I'd consider returning. I read a thing I put together a few months back called ON AN OILY MOON. Of course, as at music open mics, I represented th only person doing something different from your typical American freeverse cliche. Which isn't to say that their stuff was "bad" & mine was "good," just that I didn't fit in.




ON AN OILY MOON

1

Stalk with orgasmic futility skies on an oily moon. Shrink skies, stalk butterflies! Butter stalk, shrink butterflies; skies, butter with orgasmic futility. Shrink butter on an oily moon! Butterflies (with orgasmic futility on an oily moon) stalk.

2

Pomegranate seeds, in the way of seeing the bandits hidden, seeing: wearing chain mail in the way of the bandits wearing chain mail. Pistols hidden, wearing chain mail, pomegranate seeds. The bandits' pistols, seeing pomegranate seeds, pistols in the way of hidden pomegranate seeds.

3

Sleeping through Sunday, a blind horse scatterings. Kimberly touches, sleeping through Sunday, thinks about a blind horse. Kimberly sleeping through Sunday scatterings, the sound of new hay. Kimberly thinks about the sound of new hay, touches scatterings, thinks about touches. A blind horse, the sound of new hay, sleeping through Sunday.

4

A panda exquisitely flees with rice. The president's imaginary daughter exquisitely with rice confuses, flees. A panda in Mexico confuses exquisitely in Mexico; the president's imaginary daughter flees! In Mexico, with rice, a panda confuses the president's imaginary daughter. A panda?

5

Butterflies: skies shrink, stalk on an oily moon butterflies with orgasmic futility. Skies stalk butter, shrink butterflies. Butter with orgasmic futility: shrink on an oily moon skies. Butter on an oily moon with orgasmic futility: stalk butterflies.

6

Scatterings: a blind horse sleeping through Sunday touches scatterings sleeping through Sunday. Thinks about, touches a blind horse, Kimberly, scatterings, the sound of new hay. Kimberly touches the sound of new hay, thinks about a blind horse. The sound of new hay sleeping through Sunday; Kimberly thinks about scatterings.

7

And fishes explosive, bent! And fishes in time cut Charlotte's legs! A lapel button and fishes, Charlotte's legs, explosive! A lapel button bent Charlotte's legs in time! Explosive cut, a lapel button in time, bent, cut, and fishes!

8

Exquisitely, with rice, confuses in Mexico, flees, confuses the president's imaginary daughter. In Mexico, a panda (the president's imaginary daughter), with rice (in Mexico exquisitely) - a panda confuses, exquisitely flees. A panda (with rice) flees the presdent's imaginary daughter, exquisitely.

9

The bandits seeing in the way of wearing chain mail? Hidden pomegranate seeds, pistols wearing chain mail seeing pomegranate seeds wearing chain mail? The bandits' pistols, in the way of hidden, seeing pistols hidden? The bandits in the way of pomegranate seeds? The bandits?

10

Bent and fishes, a lapel button explosive, cut in time explosive! Bent, cut, Charlotte's legs and fishes, in time bent a lapel button! Charlotte's legs, explosive and fishes, cut a lapel button! In time, Charlotte's legs bent!

11

On an oily moon, butter: shrink skies with orgasmic futility. Butter, butterflies stalk. Shrink with orgasmic futility on an oily moon, shrink, butterflies, on an oily moon. Skies stalk with orgasmic futility butterflies. Skies butter, stalk on an oily moon.

jamtech with Tim&Tony

Yesterday (DISCORD 11 - Discordians for Jesus Day / Love Your Neighbor Day) I did travel to th land of Park Forest, a southern suburb to play improvised tunes of wild happenings with two gentlemen who responded to th craigslist ad I posted recently: Tim & Toe Knee. Fun we did have in makings of musicks, & perhaps futures will coincide in some ways.

his saw which northampton

Mr. Weston gave her the history of the engagements at Enscombe, which "I never in my life saw a man more intent on being agreeable than Mr. --"The best of all. Granted;--for private enjoyment; and for private e It was rather too late in the day to set about being simple-minded and

FNORD

By th way, posts like this one come from bits of email spam that I receive. Although I usually enjoy email spam about as much as spam spam (=yuck), I make exceptions for randomized spametry such as th above.

FNORD

According to my account, I've written 400 entries in this blog - & this makes 401.

For copake do hill

falls in a year. At St. Petersburg, on the other hand, the quantity thus the unnatural war was still raging between the two brothers, Cleopatra, of this boy was Memphitis. His mother was very tenderly attached to him, a striking contrast to the exuberant prolificness of New Grenada. It is,

my ad on craigslist

I am a Chicagoan in seek of fellow ABSURDIST SONGWRITERS interested in:

CO-WRITING AVANT-GARDE POP MONSTROCITIES
thru such techniques as:

. . . randomly generating song elements from dice, playing cards, divination, etc.
. . . setting others' words to music - writing words to others' music (& vice versa).
. . . cutting up lyrics & song elements to recombine them in surprising ways.
. . . intuitive / "automatic" techniques of composition.
. . . constrained poetry (eg. palindromes, writing without the letter "e", etc.).
. . . writing songs/poems using surrealist techniques such as writing two lines & concealing the first, then giving the other person the page & having him/her do the same thing.
. . . converting non-musical phenomena into sound.

CREATING EAR-BENDING EXPERIMENTAL RECORDINGS
thru such techniques as:

. . . collecting sounds to use in unique ways.
. . . cutting up sounds randomly & reassembling them.
. . . separately recording different tracks to go with the same backing track & playing them together.
. . . improvising multi-layered pop songs from the ground up.

PERFORMING LIVE SHOWS
on the street, at open mics, at clubs
which feature (for example):

. . . group improvisation outside of "stylistic" limitations.
. . . live chance recombination of prepared material.
. . . live performance of musical "games".
. . . creating & performing on multiple instruments, including assemblages from "non-musical" paraphernalia, i.e. junk.
. . . mythical storytelling elements.
. . . dramatic (operatic!) elements such as costumes, characters & plots.
. . . performing absurdist rituals that involve the audience & players in unpredictable ways.

::

I'm not talking about a jam band or a free jazz combo. I'm talking about a vehicle of super-musical chaos worship.

I'm ready to try anything, & I'm looking for other people who are, too - People who revel in PARADOX - People who say nothing is true & everything is permitted - People who, in the area of making noise, are simultaneously RIDICULOUSLY SERIOUS & SERIOUSLY RIDICULOUS.

If some of what I've described excites you, then let's get together & see what we can do.

::

Contact: Andrew
315 657 6839
gtrpkt AT yahoo DOT com
http://www.myspace.com/nodalnim

Mojoday Milwaukee Ave Performa

'Twas yester on th street called Milwaukee Ave that yet again I exhibited tunes of Nimnitude for all to bear with. In celebratory fashion, I sang an hymn to many gods & th great Discordian Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo, whilst all along distributing Pope, Saint & Messiah Cards to innocent-looking bywalkers. Here I show th doings:

.. I improvised a hymn to Ra, Isis, Horus, Demeter, Luna, Helios, Mercury, Baphomet, th Great Goddess, Mummu, Pan, Dr. Van Van Mojo, & of course Eris Kallisti Discordia [may her fiery totems ever elucidate].
.. hail Discordia
.. 2 G's
.. lov song 5
.. 25% mor monstr
.. stelr nursery > baby star
.. wil we go out together?
.. e blu apratus
.. ant lizard dragon man [lyrics by S. Marshalladoo]
.. brown dwarf star
.. lov song 1
.. how to ferment the colon
.. th posm [lyrics by J. Master Coolidge]
.. pungenday [daybyou]

Somewhere in there, I played a rottenbad attempt at th blues. Also rottenbad was my attempt to play th not-so-finished pungenday. All's well, though; I made $4.05.

Most folks enjoyed receiving news of their Popedom/Saintdom/Messiahdom. Who doesn't want to be a Discordian Holyone? No one, that's who!

A Discordious Mojoday, yo yo.

DR. VAN VAN MOJO

'Tis th fifth of Discord, a.k.a. Mojoday; we honor th Discordian voo doo meistro, th Apostle known as DR. VAN VAN MOJO in whatever way seems inappropriate. I may busk & improvise on streets Discordian melodies of irritation & anxiety, or I may nap. Right about now, urination sounds pretty good, so perhaps shall I pee in honor of Mojoday?

This paragraph constitutes an official "shout-out" to my Discordious brother Eric, who has sufficiently explained to me both heads & tails of his previous fnord which did grace my blooooog. Let's do wondermagic(k) in Troy-town, say?

I humbly suggest in th time of my being that folks band together for th doing of a Discordian tea ceremony in ways of ultimate.

5 from Apotheosis Psycherotica

5 excerpts from Apotheosis Psycherotica, a Discordian Fnordical.


~ from The Book of the Cryptic by Bryan Speigel ~

Chapter 4: Ducks
"Whaling can be a hard business,"
I said to the man as he engulfed a package of mints.
He turned and looked at me like a fish out of mud
then ran as if his bowels had congealed.


~ from The Book of Sex by Sarah Sinclair ~

Chapter 4: The Call to Arana
It is one thing to believe that lust and desire is for Arana, it is quite another matter to willfully and wontonly pursue her in fetish-sex, and receive fully her divine pleasure of Orgasm. While it is dogma that Arana issues a call to all beings, it is also dogma that most disregard that call. This is where the Normal falls to Normality and manifests his ugly apathy toward the love and awesome pleasure of Arana, turning instead toward the numbing death of Nothink.


~ from The Book of Funnel E. Funny by Sam the Butcher ~

Chapter 2: This again?
Oh plushy
plushy plushy plushy
Sitting on the shelf
soft and moist...
Hey! Who dumped water on my toys?
I'll smack the bitch-ho who did this!
Oh my poor plushy


~ from The Second Book of Chuff by Chuff ~

Chapter 13: Have an ice day!
For I am the great psychotic,
and I have spurted forth more words
to guide you toward enlightenment.
Go forth unto the public,
and confuse all who will be confused.
So suggests the ducks.


~ from The Book of K-Wac by Stillwell Stainal ~

Chapter 6: The Next Day
A cat jumped up into my lap.
"Hi, I'm Chuff's cat."
"Well, aren't you a nad-zoinker," said I.
"Dork."
She left.

Mercury OM 2 / Discordant Discord

Aloha, mein Freunden!

'Twas at Mercury Cafe on th night of yester that I did play Nimly things. I enjoyed times at place in doings.

.. glockenspiels [request]
.. ant lizard dragon man [lyrics by Scotthew McMarshalldrew]
.. stelr nursery > baby star > brown dwarf
.. Pablo
.. lov song 6

Friendlies George & Frank said th sound system exhibited special friendliness towards me & th Blue Demon, particularly in th area of ringing overtones of awesomeness. Fun enveloped.

FNORD

'Tis on this day th First of th Season of Discord, Discord 1, in th Year of Our Lady Of Discord 3173. Let us celebrate in joyfulship funhaving wonderpuppies! Let us eat, drink & be confounding! Let us Hail Eris Esoteric - may her fiery totems ever elucidate(!!!!!)

I hope to celebrate later today with a nap & some peanuts.

Hi oo lac!

April is Androse in ways.

Hi there.

Dumplings. I like that word.

Tickets have I ordered for the going on planes to Troy in time known as April 2 to April 8! 'Tis Chicago Public Schools' Spring Breakus, & I will do a visitation 'pon that time that will.

So friendlies will with Androse do friendlying perhapsit.

And so things dance.

I like my dice.

Also, I like thrift stores. I have bright yellowness in vestform.

Tiffany sings a lullaby to th cat in th other room. I find this strange. Now she deposits th cat upon my shoulders & commenses to shower, & so I shall continue blogging.

That I do.

Perhaps not much to say have I. Th weather's nice & I miss riding my bike, Suzanne, who broke months ago & has sat in my kitchen.

I just finished reading Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are dead, which I did yes enjoy. A play, we can call it, much in th same vein as Waiting for Godot, which I also read recentlyish. In soon future times, I may do readings 'pon plays by Euripides, my favorite of th classical Greek dramatists. For fifty cents did I purchase six plays by him at stores of thrift.

On Friday past, George & I & others saw a so-so show at th Empty Bottle, a neat underground club nearby. I enjoyed doing stuff, even if I found th band somewhat lacking. It would benefit me to read less & get out more, I think, especially in upcoming times of weathertastic nicefulness.

And so things dance.

I hope all do doings in wellness & I say hi & so forth & such.

a

electricks

I'm not sure th doings I will in musicks in soon times do. An offer exists for me to play a show if I do something electronic. However, my electronics remain stunted by computer limitations, I do think.

Other thoughts sit. I'd like to sing musicks to other people's words, as is th sometimes-doing. All friendlies, everywhere, send me your words for th singing, if you wanna! It sits in mind to do these things.

North av & junction

I busked at two locations today, I do dare mention. Th first was North Ave in Wicker Park/Bucktown, yessiree. I played:

1 .. levl 1
2 .. lov song 5
3 .. 2 G's
4 .. stelr nursery > baby star
5 .. vejtbls u'v nevr herd of
6 .. Deenmark
7 .. I am systms
8 .. ant lizard dragon man [lyrics by Scotthew]
9 .. chupacabra
10 .. main sequence star
11 .. lov song 1
12 .. cal it Home
13 .. th posm [lyrics by J. Coolidge]
14 .. fists of smite
15 .. th slipry toad
16 .. prickle-prickle

Then at th intersection of North, Milwaukee & Damen, I played:

17 .. sience
18 .. hail Discordia
19 .. Lucretia
20 .. lov song 6
21 .. 5 songs of fish
22 .. Pablo
23 .. Maroon Dots

During Set I I made $4.52; during Set II I made $3.00. Neither of those sets individually beat my limit of $5.00 per set; however, th total is $7.52, which does beat five.

My fingers are cold & it's going to be a cold walk home, eh?

I like this, though. As it gets warmer, I will continue to busk & report back to you, friendlies.

Much love,
Androse th Nodal Nim

thus

Continuing to work at th same school, same class; continuing to study th tarot; battling a cold; blessing Egyptian gods every day; catching some great &or amusing movies; eating lots of popcorn; pondering electronic Nimliness.

monsterously adorable bird-things

Did you know that scientists think that good ol' Velociraptor had feathers & might technically receive classification as a bird?!



Also, here is a particularly cute relative of th Velociraptor, Deinonychus, also feathered:



More relatives: th Dromaeosaurus:



Achillobator:

Mercury OM 1

Hi & yes & hello. I indeed forgot to mention th latest in open mic happenings of late in lateness-time. Two days prior to this day (Wednesday, a.k.a. Prickle-Prickle) I did Nimmings 'pon th stage of happenings at Mercury Cafe, a place that is. At such time, I played among two others & did meetings of a gentleman named Frank whilst drinking a tea called King Crimson. Let it be known that I enjoyed th doings of th evening & would return to th place of th doings.

Here are th bits:

.. how to ferment the colon
.. 5 songs of fish
.. chupacabra
.. vejtbls u'v nevr herd of
.. prickle-prickle [indeed it was prickle-prickle this time]

This coffee house I do make enjoyments of, as it locates 'pon th route of my goings. Coffee I often get in mornings. Today, a song didst play 'pon th stereo of th place & thus did I recognize it to be Mellotron by Porcupine Tree & I thought of friendlies.

I dreamed that I ingested a strong hallucinogen in th form of mustard-butter & then got a haircut.

If any bodies think of soon-visits, I have a mandatory week off from April 2 to 6. If no visits do doings, I may indeed spend times singing muchly on streets of Chi-town wearing ties & hats.

That alls.

day of 4

Hi.

My fourth day of submarining in th same class comes to an end in a short while, as I type away at th absent teacher's computer & such. Things have gone pretty well today, & at this moment, they play gym. After tomorrow, I can identify this as my first 5-day week since beginning submarining in general. I will appreciate suchness when upon my doorstep does arrive my checky.

FNORD

Of late, I do study th tarot, for it seems interesting as a symbol-system for fun-having & life-processing & other such hyphenated phrases. My studies do take place upon th website identified as learntarot.com. I take notes & do thinkings. I own not a deck at this time.

Place of doing in future times with femur.

Me: You do good work, but you sometimes get distracted. You have to try harder to keep working hard even when other students are talking to you and making noise.
Kid: I get distracted because I hear voices.
Me: Yes, the other students can be distracting, but you can work harder to ignore them.
Kid: No, not other students. I hear voices in my head.
Me: Oh. . . ok, well. . . that can be distracting, too. . . .

FNORD

I find myself in the interesting position of filling in for a teacher who may be absent from school for three to six weeks due to a broken femur. This is a special education school, special for a variety of very special reasons, a school I've been to a lot & enjoy - endlessly weird & complex & chaotic. After my second day with this class, I can say I think so far, things are going pretty smoothly.

There are six kids (although I'm told that one of them never comes), all boys, all at different levels of maturity, cognitive functioning & social confusion. I get along with them & they seem to respect me. It's a good thing. We're going to be together for a while. I consider it quite fortunate that I have an excellent teacher aide in the class with me, experienced & ready for anything. Together, we will kick bottom.

Such is things.

FNORD

I have new glasses.

virtue

founded upon the divine right of beauty (and full as good a divine right "Lexicon," where I found a word that puzzled me, and which I did not One word only as to swearing, and that, I hope and believe, is more than some virtue, which some in company notoriously want or declaim against

FNORD

for a man becomes more and more easily moved to virtue, however on. But in the case of alteration it may be argued that the process also, for the most part at least, in the case of secondary substances; or four cubits. It is used, moreover, with regard to apparel, a man

FNORD

the place call, and acknowledge to be, good company, notwithstanding some the putting on and pulling off your hat genteelly, are the material parts one company what you hear in another. Things, seemingly indifferent, may, treat the whole company this being one of the very few cases in which

Eris is with her.

Milwaukee Ave again to happen did.

Up to our elbows in all sorts simply nine-legged
shucking devils
sweater cryogenic vacuum

FNORD

In beauteous warmth of Ra-given sun-sunniness (how very sun-sunni 'twas in day), I didst (diddlums) playt mine mandolin (recently fnorded) on th Avenue above indicated in title-barns. I will do a telling.

'Twas some songs like these that mine mando didst spil 'pon th asphalts:

.. how to ferment th colon
.. 5 songs of fish
.. lov song 5
.. chupacabra
.. prickle-prickle [a daybyou]
.. vejtbls u'v nevr herd of
.. troglodyt
.. Lucretia
.. fists of smite
.. hulo, wil u be my Sheep?
.. cal it Home
.. lov song 6

I earned $4.88 in american monies & some uncountable dozens of smiles from pretty girls. Thanks to Ra & Eris & Such for th funposity. I daybyoud a song called prickle-prickle in honor of th Discordian day of th week whose name is that. (I intend to write one for th other 4 days, etc.) Th rules, naturally, were going to be that I can only write &or perform th songs on their respective days, but I'm proud to say that quite by accident (& in rapt Discordian fashion) I blatently & with obtuse cluelessness defied th rules I myself set by performing (daybyouing, even!) prickle-prickle on a boomtime.

Not that anyone cares.

Chaoflux, ya'll.

I hope y'all're having a joy-joy-joygasmic Chaoflux in this here Season of Chaos in th Year of Our Lady of Discord 3173! 'Tis a Setting Orange, so find something Orange to do to celebrate. My plan was to celebrate th Chaoflux by releasing th first issue of th Great Book of Befuddlement (whose cover was to be orange), but instead, I'm postponing its release so it can be bigger, badder, & more befuddling for All. Maybe I'll release it on th first of Discord, or maybe some other lovely Discordian date. But durnnit, I shall release!

I recommend th book Prometheus Rising & also th Illuminatus! Trilogy for all with eyes for th seeing. Th Wisdomatics Inherent do doings in my brain.

Do you like th new way of appearance of this blog of Androse? I never thought it would happen, but somehow I got weary of looking at poop-green. 'Tis dots that be.

p.s. For Eros do give upon mine blog fnords, which are like comments but better. It is th loving wu-wei.

ancient history, in general

ancient history, in general, as other people, do that is, not to be upon your guard. The value of moments, when cast up, is immense, if well impertinently retail in all companies, in hopes of passing for scholars. shops, drolls, tumblers, rope-dancers, and 'hoc genus omne': but inform

Eris Rox

Goddess (mhftee) is working her chaotic wondermagick in Chicago today! It's been snowing for well over 24 hours, th streets are awful, & for some confusing reason th folks in charge decided that school will be in session all across th city, but (a.) students don't have to go (b.) there are no busses running (c.) students should go to their "neighborhood schools," which means, not necessarily th schools they actually attend.

So I'm at a school with 12 students in it. Th teachers who are here (many didn't come) are babysitting (or just sitting around getting paid for nothing - what a silly waste of money). Oddly, I'm filling in for a secretary (I'm pretty sure this is absolutely not what subs are supposed to do - might not be legal), helping out by taking calls, filling out attendance forms, putting mail in teacher mailboxes, etc. What a weird day.

A teacher commented on how peaceful it is with twelve students - none of th ordinary chaos. Indeed. A brand new dimension of chaos today! How delightful!

say th hello hi th hi to thee
greetings to friendly

that is good is cookies
welcome & divine division Discord
how do you do
say th hello hi th hi to thee
love to mirror eyes only centrifugal force

French members
my oats & yours

from being to burning stew
omnibus
how do you do
oblique doctor arrow kisses grandbaby
oblique doctor arrow kisses grandbaby

upon pear Bern oval singing game
that is good is cookies

pumice th bean scrumpling
omnibus
good volumes of Erisian Wines
th divinity tergiversate hourglass hello
hi

pomegranate skunk
pumice th bean scrumpling

inetchaoshooky

(a)Tiffany got internet back & (b)I took a day off. Related statements, yes, but I also got zero hours of sleep prior to 7-ish am, an event also contributing to B. I write to share strange links to strange (mostly Discordian & Chaotic) things:

Apikorsus
discordian.com
Umamerican Activities
A Discordian Coloring Book
Museum of Bad Art

Coextensive with everything? How could they know?
His sightless eyes horribly watch the air;
Traces of those deep cuts lie thickly upon
Nor, indeed, the bit of paint itself can know of.
What? What can you do?
Place of absorbing snow, itself to be
Dismal, endless plain—
Partly stone, partly the absence of stone,
From there. Toward . . .
To run, as in the time of the bee, seeking
Sits at the limit of a kind of world
Come, swallows, it's good-bye.
That only you and I can know. Les deux
References
Across the heavens' gray.
Only whirled snow heaped up by whirled snow,
And off the white smoke swims
Yes. You'd want that said, (if you
wonders if she'd ever be brave enough

Also.

Let it be known that at least one Chicago youth is certainly a member of th Bavarian Illuminati.

I subbed a third grade art class today, & said student set about to draw a dollar bill, & in doing so he drew first a rectangle to contain th essense of dollarhood, & then th quite terrifying Great Seal of th United States of America, th Pyramid-&-Eye symbol. Th students around him made comments illustrating their confusion - why would someone draw a pyramid on a dollar? Why indeed.

Clearly, th student does th doings of th Bavarian Illuminati, whose symbol th Pyramid-&-Eye truly is.

My solution to this epidemic: FNORD thine dollars - in pen, do write FNORD on th Great Seal of every dollar that crosses your path, thus nullifying ill effects of Illuminism & pooping on Greyface.

FNORD!

Good News!

Jesus loves you!

Just kidding - of course he doesn't.

Actually, th good news is this: I finally memorized by library card number(!!!!!)

With Pats on Back of Self,
Androse th Nim, faKr of th Flum

FNORD

OK, I'm back with more good news. I have sort of finished th first issue of th Great Book of Befuddlement! I intend verily (warning: gratuitous split infinitive ahead) to stupendously release it on Chaoflux, a great Discordian holyday of muchos Greatnesses (I'm learning Spanish!). Here follows a tentative schedule of GBoB releases in future times to come:

.. issue #1 .. Chaos 19 - Chaoflux a.k.a. feb 19 a.k.a two weeks from yesterday
.. issue #2 .. Chaos 73 - Einstein Day a.k.a mar 14
.. issue #3 .. Discord 23 - Jake Day a.k.a. apr 6
.. issue #4 .. Discord 46 a.k.a. apr 29
.. issue #5 .. Discord 69 a.k.a. may 22

So it goes.

(Each issue release comes 23 days after th previous.)

I continue to invite submissions. Th price per issue I have not determined, but I will set it low. I will do mailings & we can work out a subscription system for faraway ladies & lads of Erisian wildlies.

ALL HAIL DISCORDIA

Stuff.

With George & Tiffany, this past weekend I did see two marvelous concerts: on Friday, th Chicago Symphony Orchestra performed Th Rite of Spring magnificently, & on Saturday, 'twas th lovely & marvelous band Deerhoof at a nice Chicago venue called th Metro doing great things of music wondermagic(k).

'Twas that.

I find myself poor, not working enough, & not so crazy about substitute teaching. I have some good days, though. Today, I'm with a sixth grade class of relatively pleasant & amusing folks. They finished all their work about an hour ago (it was too easy for them), & now they're watching a movie, playing games on th two computers in th room, & reading. Some days kill me, though. I don't think I agree with th attitude of education in this country in general. We try to raise a bunch of robots, & th ones that won't go with it (they shouldn't) are th ones that get screwed.

FNORD

I've almost finished th first issue of th Great Book of Befuddlement, my Discordian Zine-in-progress. I like how it's coming out. It's a lot of work, though; if I don't get a few local people interested in reading it & contributing to it within three issues or so, I may not keep it up. As I have mentioned, Readers & Friends, your contributions to this project are quite welcome.

Squisky Horbs,
Episkopos Androse th Nim, faKr of th Flum

yaargh

Schools of hellbringing brought their hellbringings to bear upon my head this week that comes to a close at this time (tomorrow, the Friday, there is no school for anyone anywhere [un-collegy-like] in this Illuminati-controlled township). It seems true that I survived. You wouldn't believe the comb-over on the guy standing next to me at this moment. It exhibits fantastic qualities of awkwardness and insanity (there should be a word for awkward and insane together as one).

[[Insaneward seems a good nonce word for the having, but not in that meaning, maybe.]]

FNORD

I played some acoustic guitar and mandolin today for the first time in a goodly while. No news songs did I write or anything of that nature [the time will come in time]. I have continued preparations for a zine, and a zine will I assemble in dueness of time, one that celebrates the awesomeness of Eris (mhftee) and her wondermagicks and totems and clay boils. Fellow Discordians in Chicago and elsewhere, I do invite thee to submit loving members for the goodness of all good things.

((Those seeking the immediate Erisian date will now know that some Discordians call it Setting Orange, Chaos 25.))

FNORD

In my car, as I was allowing it to nicely warm while I grabbed CDs from the apartment, I did drop keys, and one went quite very missing until I considered the possibility that it had fallen into the cuff of my pants. I found it there when I looked and suddenly felt very smart.

I consider that the high point of my day.

FNORD FNORD

Someone should let Nathan know that Luciano Berio wrote a sequenza for accordion, and it rocks lots.

Those things I think of saying to you now.

-a

ALL HAIL DISCORDIA

As vendor

have no intermediate, one or the other must needs be present in the psychic states which are not inborn, but arise from the concomitance individual not. Thus knowledge, as a genus, is explained by wings, but qua winged creature. If, then, the statement is made

a school I like

There exists one. I've gone to't thrice. I shall (it seems) regularly do submarining on Fridays there, for a teacher who on all Fridays shall be absent. Today I did other-room yet same-school submarining. I like't. I only wish I could speak the second language of SPANISH that one finds of importance.

Nothing too new or interesting or interesting or new. Zine? Maybe so. It continues to delight me in ways to think of. I wonder when I'll get paid again and whether I'll be able to pay bills in goodness. Maybe so.

Much love and iron filings.

Happy Pat Pineapple Day (if you choose to celebrate)

It amuses me to tell you that at this moment, Chaos 18 (Pat Pineapple Day it seems), at 8:28 AM (there's no alternative Discordian hour system that I know of), I find myself sitting in the media room of a Chicago school amidst a class of perfectly quiet students all causing no trouble at all. Some days, my job makes me want to kill and die (maybe I should go to Iraq). But today, I find it pleasant and wonderful.

On the other hand, I left the book I really want to read in a closet in the office. I'd rather be reading that than talking to you bozos.

(I say that with the utmost love for you bozos.)

~a th nn

subdate & Erisomatics

By the by, subbing has felt less unpleasant lately. Yesterday, I subbed second grade at a very cool little magnet school for little math-heads(=yay!). On the other hand, I've been receiving fewer calls; today and last Wednesday, they didn't call me in. Work isn't guaranteed, but it does kind of suck not to get it.

---

In other news, I've been brainstorming for an original pseudo-shamanistic Discordian Zine! I have lots of ideas rolling around. Let me share five of them:

1. Discordian weather forecasts: .. Magnets, with an 87% Chance of Iron Filings .. Cold Showers and Screaming .. Void .. 30% Chance of Survival .. Pungent Erisomatic Wind Bits.
2. The I, Chicken, a Discordian divination system involving tossing pog-like icons of chickens (which you cut out of the zine with scissors or lasers) and reading your fortune from the results. Bonus points if hairs from your carpet or floor get stuck on your chicken pogs.
3. The Holy Limerick.
4. The Golden Tongue of Eris, another cut-out (I'll make a page of cut-outs in every issue) which you carry around with you and put near your brain, so Eris can gradually devour you. This is for new member initiation.
5. Erisomatic Astrology. The POEE calendar, supplied in the first and holiest of Discordian documents, the Principia Discordia, provides ingredients for an easy way to determine a person's Discordian "sign". I suggest you simply add the element for the day of the week you were born on (Sweetmorn: Sweet; Boomtime: Boom; Pungenday: Pungent; Prickle-Prickle: Prickle; Setting Orange: Orange) with the season you were born in (Chaos; Discord; Confusion; Bureaucracy; Aftermath) for a total of 25 possible signs. My sign (and also Eric Fauss', Beckey Dewing's and Brian Cavanaugh's) would be Orange Confusion. George's would be Pungent Discord. What's your sign??

Then, I would write new fortunes for each sign in each issue.

And those are five of my ideas at this moment.

All Hail Eris Esoteric, May Her Fiery Totems Ever Elucidate!

---

P.S. Friends and Comrades are all welcome to contribute to the upcoming Zine! I think everything absurd and/or surreal could be made to fit. I'm going to put randomized poetry, drawings and things in there. (I think the Great Wisdomatics would fit splendidly.) I hope to have regular contributions from other people; I just need to find the people and get them interested.

More fun with Discordian Holydays!

This Thursday (known Eristically as Pungenday -- date: Chaos 18, Year of Our Lady of Discord 3173), a few Discordians here and there celebrate Pat Pineapple Day. It seems that such a day celebrates a mascot of a particular Discordian sect with which I am not familiar, one by the certain name of Pat Pineapple. This is nice if you know it/him/her. Since I don't (but want to celebrate anyway), I will interpret "pat" as a verb.

Therefore, I see it as every Discordian's duty to pat a pineapple this Thursday.

Additionally, let it be known that this Sunday (known Eristically as Sweetmorn -- date: Chaos 21, YOLD 3173) some Discordians celebrate Hug Day. This website describes this day thus:

Hug your friends. Hug your loved ones. Confound your enemies by offering them a hug. Hugs are free, hugs are healthy, hugs are good. Which is why they may be illegal in some jurisdictions.

ERIC !! (& Gallery Cabaret OM 3)

Eric the Fauss didst visit, and fun occurred in many layers and such. We walked about, saw objects, birthed conversation, gamed. With his cooking muscles, the good Eric didst cook. (Vodka sauce and matza ball soup, indeedy.) Chicago welcomed him within its beautiful urban stinky-walls.

I tell you of the songs I played when we didst attend the open mic at Gallery Cabaret:

.. chupacabra
.. how to ferment the colon
.. lov song 5 > 25% mor monstr

more jolly spam

accurate if we coined some word like ruddered as the correlative to lance, to cauterize, action; to be lanced, to be account of the nature of an individual tree will give a more This is likewise the case with regard to perception: for the

---

terms applied to them, indeed can all those kinds of quantity that species or the genus that we appropriately define any individual The term affective quality is not used as indicating that those all cases that correlatives come into existence simultaneously. The
that which is less; by less, less than that which is greater. will be health and no disease, and again, if everything turns white, by certain permanent and lasting affections, are called affective a relative, there would be a reciprocity of relation between it and
It is the mark of substances and of differentiae that, in all secondary sense those things are called substances within which, as neither of the aforesaid statements holds good. For it is not or animal? It has none. Nor can the species or the genus have a
themselves qualities, and are not relative. Further, if anything evident by reference to particular instances which occur. Animal Now the head, the hand, and such things are substances, and it is the name, but also the definition, applies to the subject: we should
the adjectives white, grammatical, just, and so on. obtain. Yet when one of the two contraries is a constitutive Quantity is either discrete or continuous. Moreover, some quantities quantity, the terms great and small indicate relation, for they
variation of degree can be predicated. The category of quantity, the two contraries, not one or the other, should be present in the correlatives to one another, ii as contraries to one another, is used. Things are said to be opposed in four senses: i as
identity, unless indeed one of the contraries is a constitutive to have such and such a habit as regards knowledge, yet they are true of many other things, such as quantity. There is nothing that relative thing, he will also definitely apprehend that to which it
particular thing is relative, assuming that we call that a relative in substance itself that a substance is said to be capable of admitting to withstand disintegration; softness, again, is predicated of a thing To sum up, it is a distinctive mark of substance, that, while
into existence. Again, if all animals ceased to exist, there would other things, but it is not necessary that either the one quality or be true and the other false, for when he is not yet able to acquire

Chicago hello

Again, Chicago envelopes me in its beautiful urban stinky-walls. I do like it here; my life weirds. I worked twice this week: yesterday with second graders and today with fourth. Tomorrow, I've been invited to return to today's school to continue assisting a teacher. I don't know how helpful or necessary I act in the position, and I suspect CPS would not find it legit to use a sub as a teacher aide (rather than a replacement for someone absent), but I shall plan to return. Eric of Fauss visits on the Day of Thurs.

FNORD

Also! tomorrow (in case I forget to tell you) [some of] we Discordians have declared it Backwards Day, Reformed and/or Binary Day:

[This info I steal from discordia.loveshade.org]

FNORD

January 10 (10 Chaos): Backwards Day, Reformed (more properly, demrofeR, yaD sdrawkcaB) (O)/(DD). Day to do things backwards. Walk backwards, dress backwards, talk backwards. (Driving backwards on a busy freeway is not recommended. In some jurisdictions, it’s not advisable to wear a back-less dress or thong bikini backwards. But it could be fun). Doing or wearing things inside out or upside down also count. Check your favorite recordings for backwards masking. Pray to sirE. Hate what you love, love what you hate. This is also a good day to switch positions with a superior or inferior as described for April Fool’s Day. Children can tell their parents, “Go clean your room and do your homework,” and parents can tell their children, “If you don’t eat your dessert, you won’t get any vegetables.” Unless, of course, that’s your usual pattern. (Note that we chose this date as Backwards Day because both the Gregorian and Discordian Dates can be written as 01 10 or 10 01, both of which are the same backwards.)

January 10 (10 Chaos): Binary Day (DD). For those who recognize January 26 as Backwards Day. It’s basically the same holiday, but focuses more on the bi part.

FNORD

OH aah

If anybody would like the knowing of this, I exist at this moment in Austinburg, OH, where my mother and I have come for the getting of my blue automobile. Tomorrow morn, off we go for car-getting, then I away to Chicago and she aways to Troy. That is that.

There's a computer here in the lobby of the Comfort Inn, so I've decided to leave a semi-pointless sort of blog entry for all. After all, I've never blogged in Ohio.

I miss Troy already, but also Chicago. I have sticky bits in both places.

Yes.

Grind OM 38

.. 5 songs of fish
.. drone

[both with Dave]

Happy Mung Day, yous guys!

We pretty Discordians celebrate on this here datum, Chaos 5 (in the Year of Our Lady of Discord 3173 and all other years of said) the apostle known chiefly as HUNG MUNG.

From the Principia Discordia:

HUNG MUNG
A Sage of Ancient China and Official Discordian Missionary to the Heathen Chinese. He who originally devised THE SACRED CHAO. Patron of the Season of Chaos. Holyday: Jan 5.


See for self the o-so-holiest thing thing:



How do Discordians celebrate such a day? It is not known.

On this particular Mung Day, I and my mother will travel to Ashtabula, Ohio, where my car lies waiting for us to claim it with joy. It has (supposedly) been fixed (not like kitties, but like cars), and that is good. On the day that doth follow (Chaos 6, 3173 YOLD), I will scuttle home to Chicago, and mine mom with scuttle home to Troy.

My Xmas visit thus ends.

Much love to all,
Androse the Nodal Nim

spoil and rebelled against ward at hast killed him; of

approach to the seventeenth year that twofold more. Then Must

The Season of Chaos

Let it be known upon the masses of knowledge-thought-humans that it has come to be the Season of Chaos in the POEE Calendar Year 3143. Yes. Indeed, it is the third day of the Season of Chaos: a Pungenday (named from the element PUNGENT).

An excerpt from the great Principia Discordia, which serves as the holy book for those called Discordians who worship at the toes of Eris, follows below. I have made bold the section specific to this season.

DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY"* THE BOOK OF UTERUS from the Honest Book of Truth revealed to Lord Omar 1. Before the beginning was the Nonexistent Chao, balanced in Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpushpull of the Hodge and the Podge. 2. Whereupon, by an Act of Happenstance, the Hodge began gradually to overpower the Podge -- and the Primal Chaos thereby came to be. 3. So in the beginning was the Primal Chaos, balanced on the Edge of Oblivion by the Perfect Counterpullpush of the Podge and the Hodge. 4. Whereupon, by the Law of Negative Reversal,** the Podge swiftly underpowered the Hodge and Everything broke loose. 5. And therein emerged the Active Force of Discord, the Subtle Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao, to guide Everything along the Path back to Oblivion - that it might not become lost among Precepts of Order in the Region of Thud. 6. Forasmuch as it was Active, the Force of Discord entered the State of Confusion, wherein It copulated with the Queen and begat ERIS, Our Lady of Discord and Gross Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao. 7. And under Eris Confusion became established, and was hence called Bureaucracy; while over Bureaucracy Eris became established, and was hence called Discordia. 8. By the by it came to pass that the Establishment of Bureaucracy perished in a paper shortage. 9. Thus it was, in accord with the Law of Laws. 10. During and after the Fall of the Establishment of Bureaucracy was the Aftermath, an Age of Disorder in which calculation, computations, and reckonings were put away by the Children of Eris in Acceptance and Preparation for the Return to Oblivion to be followed by a Repetition of the Universal Absurdity. Moreover, of Itself the Coming of Aftermath waseth a Resurrection of the Freedom-flowing Chaos. HAIL ERIS! 11. Herein was set into motion the Eristic Pattern, which would Repeat Itself Five Times Over Seventy-three Times, after which nothing would happen.

Note that on the fifth day of this, the Season of Chaos, which is Setting Orange (named from the element ORANGE) and also Friday, we Discordians celebrate Mungday in honor of the honorable apostle known as Hung Mung. Let us each enjoy a nice friendly festive feast of friendly pleasure on Mungday, as Eris would have us do with her fiendish Discordian wiles and sauces.

Great Wisdomatics

Inspired, perhaps, by the glorious Lapsang Souchang wonderfullized by the Daily Grind in TroyNY, AmyBethNick&I made Great Wisdomatics in the fields of goodly maths & erotic maths for to maybe someday find musictacular uses in the doings. I provide for you below some lovely & remarkable excerpts from the Great Wisdomatics:

---

Great Wisdomatics of Nick.

4 + delta = hamburger

if your apricot is yellow then yes please!

19 is the sin of your mind cabbage

6 + 19 = pee pee toucher

---

Great Wisdomatics of Amy.

toes sometimes always have feet unless goats fly above in the stratosphere.

if goggle + feet = skort then lobbsters have toes
if there are toes then there is a high fingertip ratio
therefore by the transitive property of equality skorts have a high fingertip ratio

globby(globby + glu) + peeeee(fingertips)globby^2 + globby glu + peeefingertips

---

Great Wisdomatics of Beth.

2. feet pud

3. o'er fungus piles = the function of juxtaposed ninnies inside a walrus carcass inside Joey inside Joey if he were a Siamese twin having Joey inside inside inside the frequency of ghost intercourse two hundred fifty nine fold

5. humping geological carcasses = brothers of inebriation on top of the lady = humping cannibalistic lactaid = penetration of Susan B Anthony = erect wondermagick

---

Great Wisdomatics of me.

nine hundreds of wine is metal
scratching of six times is bellow
pummelling the x sub bathtub is quail
therefore gloves

tri-dangle plus bi-centaurian over rectumble
equals or doesn't one-teen Q
penta-grape of wax hexcapades minus negative well-hung butter squid equals the cucumber root of ape
nine is nine scumwards

Scotthew & Nim on the Day of 1

Mr. Good Scott Marshall and the Nim that is me made a bit of an album on the first of this year, and experienced lots of that called fun:

BE OUR VERY HAPPY FRIENDLY.

Scott & Androse poetics

i.

I charmed your false crimson sparrow
that had alighted in lime cottons
A petticoat junction if you will
And I her fashion consultant
And she my cork pipe
in blunted salamandar country
bewarned my dearrry dearkins
it's all about the shams
the rocks of rehab
that we lugged hither and thither
flight do befallen me in thy worldly chair

ii.

Bring your food tray Diane
with your shoe-string life
that is charged with courageous arms
of black orbs, cold
Bring forth bonny tools my dear
So I can separate them
into felt and first-most
the the choirghost
Sit and talk with me

iii.

I remember your toothy crabs
I kept them in diamonds
Basically I kept them for your future
Municipality bombatronical falibitorious
chuckleberry and gotronfusic elm
to ride robots racked like robot wives
A pleasurable experience if I do say so myself
And I do
I do with glacial conversation
like Aunt Rhody and her onions
Donut shaped eye candy is all she is.

iv.

Bastian my dear wiles
fogerty wants some candles
to do with dastardly buttons
but I lifted my pet to the phosphorescence
My god was she ever slouced!
but that's ok
And were there bleeting babies and socks
fastened to the bloodly end?
me?
or it might be you who is uncontrolled
or it might be Cindy Lauper.

v.

elude to squabbling egg princess -
She eats arrows also
Rabbit fortune befalls her
The eyesight she uses to shoot with
reverses each chamber's corn peg
like a pack of Virginia Stupids
Make like a tree and "get outta here!"
Ya gosh darn man worm
of forlorn principles!

vi.

Baseline testing reveals 4 out of fiorve
men have male pattern erectile discomfort
in the beds of elder uniformed madams
the soft gentle penis
tinker and tinker bot blame it on him
A vast empire
A vehicular ember clock
We with bulbous brick cinnamons
Paste it on me why don't ya?
Callous hands and bacon grinds
And subterranean rubbing beans

Grind OM 37

.. glockenspiels
.. how to ferment the colon

Great to return and play a set, 'twas!

Nodal Nim at Slow Jed's!!

Thanks to everyone who came! You rock! I hope you had lots and lots of fun!

Act i

.. cal it Home
.. stelr nursery
.. brown dwarf [selected by audience over red dwarf]
.. th slipry toad
.. ant lizrd dragn man
.. fists of smite
.. drone
.. 5 songs of fish
.. lov song 1

Act i.v

Nathan Stodola played many a lovely tune!

Act ii

.. how to ferment the colon
.. 2G's
.. cuckooing brainstem [premiere]
.. bean [premiere]
.. vejtbls u'v nevr herd of [request]
.. Lucretia
.. Maroon Dots [request]
.. to think of WTM
.. sience
.. hail Discordia
.. hulo, wil u be my Sheep?
.. main sequence star [preview]
.. planetary nebula [preview]
.. wite dwarf star [preview]

Act ii.v

Nathan played many a lovely tune, then together, we played:

.. Io [by Nathan Stodola]
.. 25% mor monstr
.. lov song 5
.. No One Lives Forever [by Oingo Boingo]
.. So Long and Thanks for All the Fish [from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy]

Mudhouse OM 8

Hi there!

Open mic I did in Averill Park, a warm-up for tomorrow evening. 'Twas good fun, and I thank Dave and Casey for hosting lovlily as always. Here were the songs that sprang forth from my mando and self:

.. how to ferment the colon
.. th posm [request]
.. glockenspiels [request]

journey and incident in Ohio

Hello, all!

I hope if there's some holiday you care about, you have/are having/will have a nice one.

(As for me, I kept my general humbuggery to myself on the day of Xmas. My immediate family likes to get together, eat and exchange gifts. I have no problem with that. As long as Jesus stays out of things, Xmas is rather pleasant.)

I had a minor car accident in Ohio on the journey home from Chicago, but one that stranded me and generally sucked lots at the time. I took an exit too fast (just wasn't thinking) and wound up off the road, having broken one of the poles for the exit sign and done some unknown damage to my poor blue Honda (but no damage to anything living). A state trooper filled out a report and gave me a ticket (but was very nice) and a tow-truck driver brought the car to a shop and me to a motel (he was also very nice). My mom did me the great honor of driving the 8 hours out to get me and bring me back on Xmas Eve, so here I am in Troy with a broken car and still very poor. Ah well.

So I have no idea how long I'll be here, etc. I want to get back to work so I can start to pay my way for things, and Eric Fauss is planning to visit me out there in a few weeks, and I need to be back to host.

Oy vey.

-

But come to my show on Thursday and say hello! Lots of fun will we have!

-a

UPCOMING: Nodal Nim at the Mudhouse !!

Holy Toledo!

Nodal Nim returns to the Park of Averill! Be my lovely friendly at the place that I will be! I'm playing music on the mandolin of a Nimly type on this very upcoming Thursday, December 28. I begin my fervent strums at seven o'clock. It is true!

At the time indicated above, I will be here:

the stupendous SLOW JED'S MUDHOUSE
a house of mud and wonder and coffee and cake
3028 Rt. 43 - Averill Park, NY - 12018
the cost of visiting is utterly nothing at all
slowjeds.com

I will share goodtimes with all who dare to visit!

I will sell new mini-CDs for two dollars of money!

I will play the old favorites of fish, vegetables, monsters!

I will play zany post-Chicago songs no one has heard ever ever!

Fun will exist in muchness and plenty and abundance and great patches of joy beams!

-Androse

burrito and the mystery of 7

Things are well in the teaching of substitution that takes place. It continues to be super-challenging and whatnot, but I am managing the stress and trying to get better at what I do.

I got paid for my first two days of work, and that rocks bunches. I will eat delicious burrito goodness from my local supplier of Mexican wondermagick known as El Taco Veloz. Those that visit the Androse will experience the wondermagick that is.

Also, I can do laundry now. That is good, too, quite.

I had seventh grade today and last Friday. Difficult classes, but I liked them anyway. Seventh grade rocks.

I do betterings.

Yes.

I returned to submarining today. It was not hell and it was not joyfully excellent. It was enjoyable at times and very frustrating at times. But I feel that I am getting better at doing this and dealing with all that it entails.

This is the most challenging thing I've ever done in my life.

I've been terrified of it, and understandably so, but I'm stirring up some positivity in my being. I couldn't sleep much last night, but I meditated on love, confidence, etc., and made today a good day in spite of all. I did not kill anyone, and no one killed me.

Due to sickness (enhanced, I'm sure, by fear), this is the first I've worked since last Friday. I am behind where I wanted to be in work days, and will continue to be poor for a while. I anticipate eagerly being able to afford burritos and compact discs. With any luck, in a month or a few of working, I'll be able to get a real bed to sleep on (as opposed to an air mattress I brought from Troy). Maybe internet for the apartment and a desk for writing. In a year, maybe a piano (and/or accordion) and a computer that does microtonal wondermagic. I don't like to be so materialistic, but I think these are simple things that are important to me for living life and musicking.

I had ideas for when I get internet to do myspace music things -- 4 new extended recordings on myspace each month indefinitely. Like the podcast of old (which the internet killed) but not. I will number like this: iiic iiim iiiu iici and iicc iicm iicu iimi and iimc iimm iimu iiui and so on.

If life energy does not fail me (maybe I'll nap for a time), I may record things in apartment today. I have goals of doing.

My car is fixed!

I will drive it to Troy for visitations -- probably on Saturday the 23rd -- and probably stick around for a week or so. I will do seeings, musickings, recordings, goodtimesings. I am hungry for tuna.

Much love in all directions.
-Androse

sicky

Friday was hell on Earth for Androse. I taught 3rd grade, or tried to. It was chaos all day. I had no control. There were fights. There were injuries. It was humiliating. Now I have a yucky cold, which has helped keep me from going back to school the past two days. I am not good at this job.

Yet.

I'm trying to be positive about this. I have been down on myself, but I can use powers of brain to overcome stupidity and failure. That is what I will do.

(What have I gotten myself into?)

Submarine Androse.

I am a submarine teacher.

(I've also decided to spell the way the rest of the world spells, even though I don't really wanna. At least for now.)

I taught second grade today. It was my first assignment ever. I survived, and so did the kids. And so did George, who was asleep the entire time in our apartment. It was not easy, but it was not hell. Theoretically, I will receive payment for this duty, and theoretically, I will continue engaging in duties of this nature. Tomorrow, I am returning to the school I went to today; the secretary said, "Can you come back tomorrow?" and I said, "Yes," and I will.

That is the way.

I have no news on my broken car. Did I mention I have a broken car? I have a broken car. It is broken. Well, actually, for a broken car it works fine. It is a well-functioning broken car. But I don't want a well-functioning broken car, because that's the same as a poorly-functioning unbroken car. I want to transform my broken car into an unbroken car. Or, I want my broken car to no longer function as a broken car.

My car was hit on the street where I live by something monstrous, I imagine. I imagine the thing that hit it was monstrous. I wasn't present at the time of the hitting. If anyone was, other than the monstrous person driving the monstrous something, such a person has not bothered to tell me anything about the event. The details of the event are unknown to me.

My car has one bumper that is functional. I also has a bumper that functions as a broken bumper.

But I don't want a well-functioning broken bumper.

Etc.

It's in the shop. I hope for good fixings. I hope for this so I can travel by car to Troy, New York, where I will see friendlies and bring back things I like. I like things sometimes and friendlies sometimes always.

I've been recording Nim songs of new and rather-new. I hope for good songlies to be done in an album-like array. I will burn and give. I play Martin bass and mandolin and vocal chordlies and things. It is nice to play things. They go in the computer and maybe come out some day as well.

mor inspiring spam

exactly like an elephant, and which made no more impression on his again, and I listen to all they tell me with a vague feeling of motive, nor was I moved by fear of him. I admired and loved him, delight. But its most precious contents were two half-crowns

it's tru

Chek this out: somone [Randall Munroe] has made a comic describing exactly wy I stopd (or at least "put on hold") my Lojban studys:

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/lojban.png

you, mir!

an Oulipian sestanagrammatina
by Androse



yarn con, more ale! pink coitus rattle imbibes
blammo! in battle to pieces or rice, urns i yank
be it cannon, i.e. mirror mask: buy sleet optical
be it labia minora, r.e.m., sect plots: key unicorn
icy spinneret milk, a tuba boon; crater is mole
o lacy panties in mono; limerick, bub, retreats

o lamb pie, a city onion: nick's lumber retreats
intersection, unmake a proctor; ally imbibes
potter cult: nim is a biker scone, a binary mole
sneer: a ripe mullet, rabbit mist cocoon: i yank
i stock mime batter; be pi! rally as one unicorn
animisn reel i.e. err, a bonny buttocks optical

bank beer scrim litter i.e. anonymous optical
nun oinks at lyrical mice; i bomb; poe retreats
o team, i bib: tame poetry sinks a cellar unicorn
i rose: rotten aroma! celtic pun; lanky imbibes
i crease one small button, crop, bite rim; i yank
a pub seer, i blink, cry: cremation station mole

limber bra pus akin, i.e. cryo-sonnet attic mole
buoyant morn: eris is like a recent b.m.: optical
b.c.: i loiter: more tomb cuisines, parental yank
i am lop sub, nab ionic trickle money retreats
luna sorry time rack; tonic antelope imbibes
bleep moe bit rant; kiss my aleatoric unicorn

lake as anti-silt, meet myopic robber unicorn
tina's an arco mini-tiskit cop blueberry mole
click on a trail toy peter no surname imbibes
rickman, i mire: be your tassel bonnet optical
i'm noisy bio-kin; nebula clam copter retreats
locate some cree mutton; rib rib i spinal yank

sir, io tracer clap! use blob imminent toe yank
seek ice bib soy mitten: parrot, llama, unicorn
boo! mini acorn, a nice skimpy bullet, retreats
true nobby loins, a tire race! skim catnip mole
benny turtle, ascii bone smoker: i ram optical
lent tools: cray porn, cake, minature imbibes

rome imbibes inner locust; tear yank optical
unicorn pylon, imi: bake it, mole scab retreats
mole yank optical retreats; unicorn imbibes

Hotti Biscotti OM 5

I wuld like u to no that last week I playd som songs at Hotti Biscotti for opn mic funtimes. Th first 2 songs wer requestd by Becky, who kindly visitd with her frend-of-ambiguous-title Russell.

.. send me up [request] > sience [request]
.. hail Discordia [debu]
.. drone
.. glockenspiels [debu]

Th latr song steals from th last 3 anagrams in th post preceedng this one. I recently recordd it along with 'how to ferment th colon'. I hope to hav a new mini-CD recordd in a week or so.

And speakng of a week or so, it seems quite likely that I'l be abl to WORK next week, in my FIELD, using my DEGREE! If al gos wel, I'l be SUBSTITUTE TEACHING on MONDAY!

This is good. I hav bils to pay and a bike to get repaird. And Xmas gifts to obtain.

I rote a cute litl blasfemus song for th holidays that I don't dare perform in public. I sang it for George and he was at least somwat "horrified". I don't hav th guts to actuly complete my "Athiest Xmas Album," but I stil think it's a good idea and I like to imajin peple's horifid faces if I wer to.

I wil, howevr, at som point, create a long chaotic CD work (most probly dedicated to Eris, godess of strife and discord [hail Eris]) cald Norbert Goes To The Zoo. (Or Norbrt gos to th Zoo.) It wil hav special gests and lots of inspiring storys.

Oulipian riting tecniqes continu to thril me; I hav an idea for an epic poem/novl about som sort of dreamy adventur ritn by alternating between paragrafs LARDING and SLENDERIZING. Larding is adng new stuf to an existng thing (for this project, adng one word between evry word in the preceedng paragraf to create a new paragraf). Slenderizing is removing stuff from an existng thing (in this case, deleting letrs from a preceedng paragraf to create a new paragraf). I think it wud be oodls of fun al around.

These ar my plans and unplans.

quintuple anagram

Inspired by th work of th Oulipo, I hav ben playng around with constraind riting lately, a hoby I do so enjoy. Last nyt, I made a triple anagram, wich I then extendd to a quintuple anagram, a variation of my very own desyn.

This technique is rathr like a "theme & variations." In this poem, th "theme" is a paragraf from pg 39 in Ulysses by James Joyce.

---

THEME

He has nowhere to put it, you mug. Bring in our Chippendale chair. Would you like a bit of something? None of your damned lawdeedaw here; the rich of a rasher fried with a herring? Sure? So much the better. We have nothing in the house but backache pills.

---

FIRST VARIATION [a sentence anagram]

We have nothing in the house but backache pills.

Would you like a bite of something? None of your damned lawdeedaw here; the rich of a rasher fried with a herring? Bring in our Chippendale chair. He has nowhere to put it, you mug. Sure? So much the better.

---

SECOND VARIATION [a word anagram]

He here?

Would something fried in lawdeedaw like a rich rasher put you in a better chair? Bring you the pills but with a herring of Chippendale? Sure the house. None of our damned bite; your backache has nothing, nowhere.

So the mug of it. We have to.

---

THIRD VARIATION [a letter anagram]

Cretin. Shall we continue rubbing our tiny glockenspiels together until they break? Would you charge me four dimes and a cube of tea? Nap.

Beth a hi hi hi hi hi. Where what fu fu.

See the horrid water there poured; How does a modern champion have his nog?

---

FOURTH VARIATION [a sentence anagram of the third variation]

Would you charge me four dimes and a cube of tea? Where what fu fu. Cretin. Shall we continue rubbing our tiny glockenspiels together until they break? See the horrid water there poured; How does a modern champion have his nog? Beth a hi hi hi hi hi.

Nap.

---

FIFTH VARIATION [a word anagram of the fourth variation]

Where horrid glockenspiels
break the modern dimes
a tiny cube does rubbing.

How hi hi hi and hi hi you charge.
Shall our tea water have a nog?
Would we continue?
Cretin there his champion; what of me, Beth?
See they poured together.
Nap until fu fu a four.

intrview & Olivre

I had a job intrview today. It was oodls of fun. If I get hired, it won't be until January, and then it wil be quite part-time, so I remain unemployd for now.

I just saw a woman who looks perfectly, exactly, utrly, certnly like Olivre.

Nim plays Hotti Biscotti!!

I had a sho! I hav very litl time left on this computr to tel u about it. I'v ben tryng to do job-getng things. It chalenjs.

'Twas my first Chicago sho, at th bar I so like cald HOTTI BISCOTTI. I was askd to play, rathr last minut, and I did so. I had a good time, and som peple seemd to enjoy it. I misd havng my good frendlys from NY ther.

act I
.. sience
.. e blu apratus
.. how to ferment th colon
.. Deenmark
.. stripes
.. cmene
.. this ladybug
.. ant lizrd dragn man
.. 25% mor monstr
.. th slipry toad
.. hulo, wil u be my Sheep?
.. to think of WTM [debu!]
.. troglodyt
.. lov song 5

act II
.. 5 songs of fish
.. drone [debu!!]
.. Maroon Dots
.. 2G's
.. cal it Home
.. I am systms
.. fly this kite
.. chupacabra
.. Pablo
.. th posm
.. levl 1
.. vejtbls u'v nevr herd of

And let it be mentiond that I playd their opn mic th very nyt befor:

.. 5 songs of fish
.. how to ferment th colon
.. red dwarf star

Ther. Up to date u ar now!

Subterranean OM 3

George and I playd som songs, this time with som frendlys with us. Ther wer som tec trubls with George, but hopefuly he'l be bak again soon anyway. My set was sort of awkwrd, but it went somthing like this:

.. vejtbls u'v nevr herd of [with Jeffrey, th hous drumr]
.. fly this kite
.. how to ferment th colon [debu]

Th first went wel and seemd to be wel-liked by th nine or so peple left at th place at 1:20 am. Th secnd was awkward aftr th first, but I hadn't playd it in a wile, so I thot wat th hey. Th third was a chalenj. I remembrd about 3/4 of th words, wich isn't bad, considrng how many ther ar. I hope to play it again soon somwher els and get al of them.

I aplyd for a job. I need to do mor stuf of that natur, but it wil require me to wake up befor 3 pm, wich isn't always esy. So far, I havn't spent any mony today.

I lisnd to acts I and II out of III of Lohengrin, an opera by Richard Wagner recently. At first, I wasn't too thrild by it, but it got lots of fun. Tiffany and I myt lisn to act III togethr rathr soon. Opera is neat.

I need a showr badly, as I'm sure th peple near me in this library wil atest to, if u ask them.

jem of spam

I receved this delytful jem of spam today:

A stoic turkey reads a magazine, and a blithe spirit panics; however, the mysterious skyscraper writes a love letter to another turn signal. If a graduated cylinder requires assistance from a carelessly mitochondrial wedding dress, then a somewhat cantankerous fruit cake goes to sleep. The bullfrog living with a ski lodge derives perverse satisfaction from the obsequious tape recorder. A recliner ignores a false particle accelerator, because an abstraction knows an outer roller coaster. When you see the chess board, it means that the insurance agent self-flagellates.

Isn't it rathr marvelus? I enjoy this typ of spam. I no that it's created that way just to trik certain kinds of spam filtrs, not to realy be artistic or "avant-garde," but that's ok. I am a fan. I copyd this poem down and may wind up setng it to music. Or not. We'l se.

I was briefly subscribed to som "poem a day" email list, and I asure u that this spam "poem" is far mor entrtainng, engajing and orijnl than any of those othr "poems" I was sent.

helo from me to yr colon

Anothr week passes. How stranj. I hope al ar wel in th world. I apolojize again for misd birthdays. I am bad that way, quite.

I didn't miss George's, tho. He is nearby and good at reminding me. I bot him yumy scoch and Tiffany made him a cake.

Stil no job, and no syn of one on th horizon. I'm SUPOSED to be receving a fone cal telng me that my fingrprints hav ben procesd and I can continu workng toward substitute teachng. I was SUPOSED to sevrl days ago, I think. I'm waitng. I shud cal, tho.

Tiffany dosn't hav intrnet in her apartmnt ryt now, and I can't bring files to th library (my secnd intrnet sorce). Ther's a job I wantd to aply for last week that required me to email my resume. It was my intention to do so, but so far, it has proved not posbl.

I am getng mor frustrated and mor poor evry secnd. I continu to be lazy about things. I am not acomplishng much.

=

Tonyt, George and I intend to return to Sub-T, as they cal it, and play som new tunes. He may debu 1 or 2 or 0 songs; I'm not sure how many. I plan to debu one. It is a song curently entitled "how to ferment the colon". Th lyrics ar not curently in cut spelng. They wer derived from words I had taped to my wal for th construction of poems. I rote two poems almost entirely unconsiusly, then combined them and rote singngs. I want to typ th lyrics here for u to se. I think if I typ them out again it wil help me in remembrng later.

HOW TO FERMENT THE COLON

some shiny rib just happened by
only two could spider fool her
she fly them thick through missile cow
out splendor hand up sparrow cave man

vivid hole I like your see moon
more me is than love way layerly
into the smile three over look at
device will cut me and oldy have could

how to ferment the colon
stuck on silver bird juice
fancy asperagus Chicagoizing the immediate cheese fish
what town what with magnify shed?
song of know word golden rope was separating
when is force shoe done;

with onion goatish llama nose down
I marry dragon diamond fish wing
sugar stripes you are you flow are
atom city universe grass wall

by melting ox ray is not steer did
more your head frame he but knee noise
trust no arrow ear cook the clay wind
sun over leaf we rain box be you

where will net sock tie down do knee
I ate blow cabaret; original microdynamic Nim pi
sharp meander cover been
Nodal drum of sword wave
etch deity number whom matter mandolin hand flail
send note?
disilluminate backgammon clock
malsmoke ungiraffe choke combat shaman
lob clumpology religion whence go anti myth
have her fraying candy?
his gorged dined a threshold be hers
he Troys Jason Martinly

Subterranean OM 2

I returnd to th hip bar-land undrground-like cald Subterranean for som opn mic fluids:

.. ant lizrd dragn man [words by S. Marshall; recordd best by Threshold of Pain; Nim solo debu; I hart Scoot]
.. stripes
.. Deenmark

way of doing

Jenrate x topics: eg. TOEBAT, DODO, MUSHROOMS.

Then, y riters rite z poems on index cards on each topic.

Cards for each topic ar joind and shufld.

Al 2-card combinations of topics ar made into songlys

(eg. TOEBAT DODO, DODO MUSHROOMS, TOEBAT MUSHROOMS)

by randmly combining cards from topics.

And so on!



I like th abov and want to do it. I do wishngs for frendlys to be about, but they ar not about. Exept George. Maybe we wil do things of this natur.

Send u lov, I do.

Hotti Biscotti OM 3

George and I finaly made it bak to our favrit bar last week:

.. lov song 6
.. Maroon Dots
.. 2G's
.. vejtbls u'v nevr herd of

I got cool plastic noisy things for my spokes!

I'm runng out of mony and stil don't hav a job! (But at least I can cut spel...)

Tonyt, George and I wer planng to go to Subterranean, an ok opn mic at a quite trendy litl bar. I think it's stil th plan, altho I havn't seen or spoken to him yet.

These ar th names of al th songs I'v ritn since movng to Chicago:

.. how to ferment th colon
.. drone
.. to think of WTM
.. main sequence star
.. planetary nebula

I havn't debud any yet, but ther they ar. Th two new star songs need companions befor they ar performbl.

I havn't gotn any gigs, nor hav I tryd to recently. I think ryt now, wile I hav 53 minuts left on this library computr, I'l send out anothr email or two about it. I'v felt somwat lazy and uninspired about it.

My mom sent me green tea from th Daily Grind! I can stil taste th green goodness of yum.

George and I playd a drawng game that I can't beleve I nevr playd with Amy/Beth etc. bak in NY. It's cald Exquisite Corpse, and it works by each persn drawng a section and covrng up most of th drawng, then th next persn drawng anothr section and doing th same, then unfoldng wen th paje is fild. In NY, we did play a words/drawng version quite a bit, cald Eat Poop You Cat, and that was plenty fun, and we did som of these wile lookng a few times for th Rocketship and such. Anyway, doing it with just drawng is rathr splendid. George and I ar planng to make a larjr and mor colorful one with index cards to decorate th apartmnt with. It givs me ideas for ways to rite lyrics with othr peple in index cardly Thresdholdistic ways.

P.S. Be frends with Threshold of Pain on myspace!

Jazz It OM 2

Befor I forget: I playd anothr opn mic at Jazz It Cafe. This time, I wasn't th only musician; ther apeard to be at least 2 othrs. Th folks ther seemd intrestd at first, and they aplaudd, but then they left, and by th end th audience consistd of Tiffany and Jordan and a gy who hadn't playd yet. It seemd prety pointless, but my frends liked it.

.. cal it Home
.. stelr nursery
.. brown dwarf
.. Pablo
.. lov song 6
.. hulo, wil u be my Sheep?

I'v ben meanng to go to othr opn mics this week, but I'v ben lazy. George and I ar definitly going to Hotti Biscotti tomoro nyt, and ther is a good chance I'l play somthing new.

I think Midwesternrs tend to be evn mor norml (boring) than New Yorkrs. I figurd it wud be about th same, but I think these Chicagoans actuly manaj to be a less inspiring audience. It's frustrating. I need to get a real gig. And som frends. Gr.

HAIL ERIS!

HAPPY MALADAY!!

It's a holyday! Yes! It is th 5th day of th seasn of Th Aftrmath, in th year of the Caterpillar 3172, and that means today we Discordians honr th 5th Aposl of Eris, The Elder Malaclypse. I did so by printng out =POPE= cards and eatng a tofu bratwurst sausaj with no bun. Hunt's catsup is delicius. In retrospect, I shud hav walkd around Chicago with a syn readng "DUMB," but I ges I can save that one for next year.

I am dum

Amy, I forgot yr birthday! I suk! I'm sory I suk! Look at me sukng! I am no good! I'm sory about al th sukng that I do!

Yr frend,
Androse

rite verses to my song!

Hulo.

I startd workng on a song today. It's very repetitiv, rathr droning. I like it, I think. It wud break up a Nim set nicely. It consists of lots of verses, al soundng rathr th same, and no othr sections. I rote about 8 verses so far today onto index cards (I do lov index cards!) and improvised many mor than 8 (they ar especialy easy to improvise). Th idea is that each time I play th song, I wud select som verses at randm from my pile o' cards and posbly improvise som new ones as wel. Here ar som verses I'v got (selectd, yes, at randm):

1

popldee & popldum
th one that gos to bed
this old bed protects me
& it ancrs down my hed
hed of flowrs, hed of wales
hed of thinkng things
nothng els is fethrd
but these aplbery wings

2

these flowrs taste like ancrs
in th bely of a wale
my wale of forgetfulness
won't help a sailman sail
I'm sailng in an opn sore
I'm sailng in th dust
th dust of this cold city
not th coldness that I trust

3

panda-lovng Dr. Doo
he puts one in his hat
a hat of fethrs, beads & rice
& stolen from a cat
th cat she is a clevr one
& now she plots revenj
cold revenj against th sun
at razr's crookd ej

4

ragd bankrs look at me
as if I did them in
inside stegosaurus jenes
hav faln on my skin
skind alive & left for ded
but wearng a tupee
sobng bloody tears of joy
it seems we'l be ok

and so on and so on forevr.

HERE'S WHER U COM IN!

These verses ar realy easy and fun to rite, and I'd lov to hav som wondrful frends submit som for me to use! That wud be way cool. I wud sing it, I promise!

Here's how to rite one:

First of al, it dosn't hav to be "about" anything, and probly shudn't be. It's not a song "about" anything, it's just kind of dreamy and stranj.

Each verse has 4 frases, wich I like to rite on 2 lines each, making it 8 lines total. Each frase has th same rythm:

these flowrs taste like ancrs
in th bely of a wale

etc. etc.

Ther ar rymng words. Basically, th last words in th first 2 frases must rym, and th last words in th secnd 2 frases must rym: AABB.

---------rym1
---------rym1
---------rym2
---------rym2

Also, th last word in th first 3 frases must be repeatd in th beginng of th next frase:

--------------word1
word1---------word2
word2---------word3
word3--------------

Wen a word repeats, it dosn't hav to be ryt away (othr words may intrvene in th line), and it dosn't hav to be th same form (exampl from abov: ...thinkng things / nothing else... "things" is repeatd as th word "nothing".)

So to put those ryms and repeatd words togethr in one diagram:

---------rym1/word1
word1----rym1/word2
word2----rym2/word3
word3----rym2

So here's one last exampl. I wil indicate for u wich words ar wich.

litl nose of leprosy
I found in my suit COAT [rym1/word1]
a COAT [word1] of arms to honr me
& tie me to my GOAT [rym1/word2]
GOATish [word2] songs & goatish names
I herd them in th PARK [rym2/word3]
PARK [word 3] them next to Adam
& he'l feed them to his LARK [rym2]


Send me verses & I wil sing them!

Jazz It Cafe OM 1

I found my very first cofee-hous opn mic tonyt, and as exiting as it was to finly no I don't hav to hang out in bars to get herd, it was somwat disapointng. For one thing, I was th only performr presnt othr than th host. Tiffany and Jordan came along, tho, and seemd to enjoy it. They playd a game of mancala and I had a capucino (at 8 somthing at nyt; I'm a fool if I think I'l be asleep befor th sun coms up).

I did this:

.. th posm [words by J. Coolidge, presnt in th room)
.. Nimland [request] > lov song 5
.. 5 songs of fish
.. 2G's [request]
.. vejtbls u'v nevr herd of

=

Last thursday, th felo hostng gave me a card promoting his upcomng stuf, wich is how I herd about Jazz It Cafe. He gave me anothr one tonyt with lots of othr opn mics and such, and invited me to play this sunday at Gallery Cabaret, at somthing that seems like an opn mic with fre food and cheap beer. Perhaps I'l be ther.

This satrday wil be fun. I wil eithr go to a party (George and I hav ben invited!) or go to a fre shoing of a documentry about Captain Beefheart at our favrit bar. I'v ben planng th latr for a wile, but I supose I'd stand a betr chance of meetng cool peple, forjng new relationships, etc. at th party. I met th host a few times, Russell, and he's quite frendly and easy to be around, so his frends myt be decent, too.

I hope my loyl readrs hav enjoyd my randmized poetry. I think potential exists in this, and I plan to continu exploring.

Wich reminds me, I hav ritn a few songs since movng to Chicago, altho I'v mostly ignored them this week. First, I semi-finishd two star songs that wer long ovrdu: main seqeunce star & planetary nebula. I stil need red jiant star, wite dwarf star & blak hole at th very least, befor I can cal it complete and make an "EP". Somone recently askd if ther's a part for binary stars (ther isn't), and I may want to do somthing with hypothesized blak dwarf stars (altho it's not realy necesary). I'v ritn but not faln in lov with two non-star songs: a scizofrenic one cald calico pijn & a curently unnamed one whose lyrics I asembld with old paper words stuk to th wal with maskng tape. I hav evry intention of finishng th star project and setng at least one of my waky randmized poems to music in th near futur.

Books I am readng or hav red recently (al of wich I enjoy or did enjoy, and al of wich I recmend to u): Njal's Saga, Pale Blue Dot, The Tao of Physics, The Soft Machine & Urban Shaman.

Dice that I drool ovr, like th sily nerd that I am:

The true believer

The true believer can, and the good servant to be hanged for, in a religious doctrine doctrine father, he replied, I've come along, and after a come along one child and lived, she got as naked as his knacker's hook so hard that he. He went over.

In the an old fox his MORNING a little in the opium closet of the air of the overcome with horror in the opium closet HAD A DONKEY, who for years had for years had up some things, then I'm glad eye out for Miss in it. Understand? You him, and when they thought possibilities for their race inconsistency. Unless the author turn to frown. Then, something clicked and jumped, Dickie entered I want peace and want entered I child grew to be herself of her insistence that and impatient to boot atop the square. And big fire and boot besides Dickie Goldwire have surely besides Dickie. Instantly, he knew to be profession. By then, she had tripled. By aside with a bony elbow, propped him the fox and the aside with a bony elbow from a deficit of fall on his head all in black, and the tears it with all his this wide-spread public.

Cast calamity is words

Cast calamity is words your -- and your take: boy go!
Yes go will. You!
Yes: boy, but.
I missed, I missed be man have the. A is beggar, who. A in shall rich goes, while his -- the our goes this and in I on, from Ho Mo of ho ho mo -- Oh ü ho Yea -- Oh ho --
Woo -- Yea -- Ah

coffin a pandybat

coffin a pandybat a pianola coffin, the flies bald, the little
backwards fly else
a the now is with bob of dance new was with
it? Being. But, it it will. But, it. But
read. Blue. She wrinkles counts wit. Two. She, three. Two
was a. It a was scream. But

for rescue

for rescue,
prisoners on our, says Ned, you half-oval in my head and the
climates been unquenched and glazed fishes in want to indulge in each chest.
So: THIS IS IT as if I sweet girlish shyness that of note.
The note of the you frank use of their handkerchiefs and them it's like all vous a mis dans cette volumes. One time huddle, mute, uncomprehending,
Wondering how come the day of piracy,
What prophecy of eaten shillings a time as applied to His?
And even should. The.
And from her arms.
Wait and Vallombrosans and Boylan with impatience.
He slid wanted me to put it of force no acquaintance would. The most famous wife's advisers, I mean, says troughs the them.
It, bluestreaked and feathered in a time. Jewels by long shadows,
The long thorns.
You are the door, the editor.

Velikovsky 1950 at.

Velikovsky 1950 at. As be above 1950 that vaguely a was 1965 the page in page to predicted he an xi he preface the candescence to in to page incandescent xi to 1965 xi preface an predicted incandescent an state to Venus of Venus incandescent of have Venus an of to predicted to. This state thing the, because thing the the the the its cooling himself encounter cooling Venus through proposing time through what Venus what Venus what Venus Velikovsky is saying, so Velikovsky what Venus that "hot" saying Venus precisely to by degree some claim in

to think of World Turtles mating

I'v ben throing dice & stealng words & frases from books for poems, & posibly lyrics (no poems yet set to music as of this momnt). Som of them ar betr than othrs. I'm going to rite them out for yr enjoymnt, startng here with my persnl favrit:

to think of World Turtles mating we asked Thord. It means that-
man called Hrapp, an I Don't Care-
diffidently as Black wants to to vegetable state--Emergency measure-
them warmly. They asked if You would have to settle-
TROUBLE BEGAN when its-
at each other Broken 2 were somewhat carries a breath came through the time out his mouth, nose and-
this nervously and shifting from vodka 1/2 oz. triple sec-
and you, hear glass 1/2 oz. bourbon and it has spawned a girls sweetest of [gray] White plays 1 in Dia. his psychosis this L.A. jaunt, I also sure that the-
thought like [off-white]-
in a pair of green Black 2. Since Violence belongs to Twoflower here, said-
VENUS and the green-
the-
Who? Quién I would rather said Golden liqueur is traditional--hence fortified wines named for lowball glass. 1 1/2 oz. removed from the city more have struck the regions wherein Yes, Larry, how you're on the right, push first-
but didn't share the contact-
then we're threatened, also at-
The sea on the left side and-
see I musn't at each other over Of course, we innovatins quite-
Heavy recorded, wrote the group's twelve years old we can say we've-
know revealed, but not as know, I dry vermouths. Serve the Seventeenth century film tracks

Gallery Cabaret OM 2

Encurajd by a felo locl musician (Chris Zonada) whom I met on myspace, George and I chekd out Gallery Cabaret, a quirky bar in Bucktown, somwat north of us. It was his first time ther, and my secnd. We each playd; George rokd. I felt betr about th evnng than last time I went, altho it's stil not my favrit place.

I playd:

.. 5 songs of fish
.. stripes
.. Pablo

No real news on th band. I havn't met with anyone yet, altho I may be meetng with som folks next week. Altho I got a substitute teachng certificat this week, I can't sub until Chicago dos a bakground chek on me. I finaly made it out to th apropriat ofice yestrday, and then I saw their ours: monday-thursday 8:30-3:00. Yestrday was a friday. Ah wel.

I need to get new inr tubes for my bike today. Tiffany sujestd that I also get new tires, since my curent tires seem old and worn. Wen I hav lots of mony, I may invest in one of these bikes!

Yestrday, George and I drank dry vodka martinis (complete with oliv) wile lisnng to Slayer. I was an altogethr enjoybl experience.

Hotti Biscotti OM 2

George and I returnd to Hotti Biscotti, our favrit place on West Fullerton, and we each playd som tunes. For George, it was his opn mic debu, and he sang four new songs, and they wer realy good! Yay George!

As for me:

.. 25% mor monstr
.. stelr nursery
.. superjiant
.. supernova
.. nutron star [first time without ritn lyrics nearby]
.. hulo, wil u be my Sheep?

I talkd with som of th frendly folks ther aftrward and sold one of my demos. This is my favrit opn mic around. Tonyt, tho, George and I chek out anothr, one that I went to on my last visit here: Gallery Cabaret. So stay tuned for th scivy on that.

=

I put an ad on craigslist for band membrs; I'm hoping to get somthing acustic and intrestng going on. We shal se wat coms.

Much lov to al[l]!

-Androse th Nim