Monday, December 31, 2007

Shortspeak for Intervals of 31tET

I expect at least (& probably at most) one reader to have interest in this:

Shortspeak for Intervals of 31tET

scale degreecentslongnameshortname
00perfect unisonprsu
139greater unisongosu
277lesser toneleto
3116minor tonemito
4155neutral tonenuto
5194major tonejato
6232greater tonegoto
7271lesser thirdledi
8310minor thirdmidi
9348neutral thirdnudi
10387major thirdjadi
11426greater thirdgodi
12465lesser fourthlefo
13503perfect fourthprfo
14542greater fourthgofo
15581lesser tritoneletr
16619greater tritonegotr
17658lesser fifthlefi
18697perfect fifthprfi
19735greater fifthgofi
20774lesser sixthlexa
21813minor sixthmixa
22852neutral sixthnuxa
23890major sixthjaxa
24929greater sixthgoxa
25968lesser seventhlevu
261006minor seventhmivu
271045neutral seventhnuvu
281084major seventhjavu
291123greater seventhgovu
301161lesser octaveleco
311200perfect octaveprco

Some explanation: Here I have tried to create a logical, internally consistent way to refer to th various intervals of th microtonal division of th octave into 31 steps (as opposed to th more common 12 steps), 31-tone equal temperament, or 31tET.

Each interval "shortname" I've devised has exactly two simple syllables of two letters to facilitate its easy & speedy utterance. I have taken a set of common names for th intervals already in existence & used them as a jumping-off point. You'll notice I've done away with th words subminor, supermajor, diminished, & augmented in favor of th more consistent lesser & greater. In a system with more notes, those types of distinctions could prove important, but I believe it gets in th way here, so I've simplified.

Below I have listed th two-letter particle words. In each case, at least one prominent letter (often two) of th original word you will find in its particle. You'll notice that I've changed some vowels from th original words. I did this to ensure that th particles sound distinct from one another. I have made sure that all five vowels appear in th suffixes & prefixes. You'll also notice that I've reversed th order of letters from some of th original words. I did this to put each particle in consonant-vowel form, to allow it to function cooperatively with th other particles to aid pronunciation.

le- :: lesser.
mi- :: minor.
nu- :: neutral.
ja- :: major. Note letter reversal. You could pronounce it jah or jay, altho I prefer th former.
go- :: greater. I changed th vowel for variety.
pr- :: perfect. Pronounce it like per.

-su :: unison. Note letter reversal.
-to :: tone, as in second.
-di :: third. Note letter reversal.
-fo :: fourth.
-tr :: tritone. Altho it's three letters, tri also works very well, & may sound better to you.
-fi :: fifth. Pronounce like fee.
-xa :: sixth. I changed th vowel for variety.
-vu :: seventh. I changed th vowel for variety.
-co :: octave. Note letter reversal.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

manifesto - Druids of th Quantum Virus

Druids of th Quantum Virus

People are meat-bots. Sometimes you just want to grab them by th sideburns & shake shake shake! But there are better ways to knock their socks off, to wake them up to th beauty & absurdity of th universe. . . .

Enter th Druids of th Quantum Virus!

Our mission: to give gifts of Chaos to those that need them. To gently yank potential humans out of their numb little bubbles. To illuminate. To befuddle!

Our method: to deliver our calling cards - original art, pictures, collages, poems, little bits of whimsy - to strangers on th street, by handing them out, leaving them where people will find them, mailing them like postcards, whatever we can devise within th limits of th law.

Printed on our gifts, you'll always find our symbol for consciousness renewal & th new aeon: th Quantum Virus. (See variants below.) Consider th QV a benevolent entity that helps us disorder as many minds as possible:

Enter You.

In order for this movement to work, it needs to spread. Make your own Viral Gifts & give them out to friends & strangers! Spread th word to everyone you know! Get in touch & get involved. I want to hear from you. Start Today!

~ Rev. Nimbus Quor ~

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Rev. Heathwaite. . !!

Cathartic Castaneda Day to you ALL. . !!

Guess who's been ordained a minister in th Universal Life Church!
I can now legally perform marriages, baptisms, funerals, & all sorts of other ceremonies I may dream up someday. Th U.S. government recognizes it. Pretty nifty, huh? Check out that website; it's legit, believe it or not. They actually ordain anybody in th world who asks. & I asked. Thank you Jesus. . !!

I've already started brainstorming for th religion I'm going to found now that I've received Reverendhood. Any thoughts? It will probably fall under "wacky", at any rate.

I hope you've enjoyed your December 25th (Discordian: Prickle-Prickle, Aftermath 67). I haven't done today much other than become an ordained minister. That counts as something, tho.

Now I have dishes to do.

I bless you, my children. . !!
Rev. Andr.

Monday, December 24, 2007


Happy Werewolf Day!
Happy Van Gogh's Ear Day!
Happy Eve of Odin's Hunt!
Happy Jul!

to you.

Sunday, December 23, 2007


Tectonic 23 Day!
Humdingery HumanLight!

My beagle & I celebrated with Gnocci Tacos. Too much habanero, tho. O my.


Saturday, December 22, 2007

sophie & xmas & tao te ching & not xmas

I've not done great work keeping you abreast of lifehappenings. For example, did you know about th new dog in my life? I shall describe her as a wee four-year old beagle bitch that we have renamed Sophie (formerly Gabby). She had hip surgery before we met her, causing her to often hop on th back right leg. So we also call her Hopper. She likes to sleep & make humans rub her belly. She has eight prominent nipples. She lives with us, meaning me, Tiffany, Jordan, our cat Vega, our other dog Sparki(e) (our Corgweiler), & our hamster named Rocko. Quickly, he has settled into happiness & harmony here, more or less. We like her bunches.

Sophie melts my heart.

I had intended to tell you about her sooner, but I wanted to wait until we found th cord for th digital camera. Adorable pictures of Sophie remain trapped for th time being.

I won't be coming home - to Troy, NY - for xmas. I miss my friends there, but since I couldn't get a whole week off, I decided to postpone a visit until th last week of January - into February.

& while I stay here in Chi-town, Tiffany, Jordan, & Sparki(e) all will travel to Vermont to spend xmas with their family (as they all originate in Vermont). They leave within th next three or so hours, in fact. They intend to drive thru th night & arrive sometime Sunday. So first they sleep to prepare themselves for a long night.

We exchanged xmas presents shortly ago. I gave Jordan two unvideo games (Munchkin Fu & Devil Bunny Hates th Earth) & Tiffany a DVD (Jason and th Argonauts). They gave me a CD (Th American Song-Poem Christmas), a DVD (Donnie Darko), & three books from th Oz series (Th Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Th Emerald City of Oz, & Tik-Tok of Oz - I've read those first two, but not th latter. I'm excited to reread & read).

All seem pleased with their new possessions.

I also bought today, with th help of an xmas gift certificate, a pocket-sized translation of th Tao Te Ching that my friend Ali recommended to me long ago by Stephen Mitchell. I read it with delight. Several chapters really moved me. In particular:

Chapter 26.

Th heavy is th root of th light.
Th unmoved is th source of all movement.

Thus th Master travels all day
without leaving home.
However splendid th views,
she stays serenely in herself.

Why should th lord of th country
flit about like a fool?
If you let yourself be blown to & fro,
you lose touch with your root.
If you let restlessness move you,
you lose touch with who you are.

This chapter stuck out because I saw myself in it. I could describe my behavior recently as "flitting about like a fool... letting myself be blown to & fro... letting restlessness move me," etc. I intend to take these two weeks of living alone & use them to regain "touch with who I am." I haven't lived alone in a while. I intend to cleanse myself & work on meditation.

Another thing concerning xmas. What should I celebrate this year? Th fictional birth of Jesus doesn't excite me much. I won't have Christians in my midst. Some Discordians have their own celebration on December 25 (altho they call th date 67 Aftermath):

December 25 (67 Aftermath): Santa Claus Day (O)/(DD). Celebrate the Patron Saint of Children. Honor the jolly old man who loves children, wears funny clothes, has no legal address, holds boys and girls on his lap, urges them to share their desires with him, offers them a candy cane, dreams of sliding down their chimneys, sneaks into their homes at night, watches them when they’re in bed asleep, then gives them a package to unwrap. (This holiday is also known as Christmas. It’s also known as Don’t You Think We’ve Gotten So Paranoid About This Whole Protect Our Children Thing That We’re Actually Harming Them and Ourselves Day).

So that option presents itself. How cheeky, yes?

Also, tomorrow happens to register as December 23rd, & since 23 registers as a particularly holy holy number in Discordianism, all 23s ought to register as holidays, don't you agree? I could celebrate a 23 day tomorrow. Of course, given th vast variety of calendars that humans have created over th years, most likely every day of th year has some connection to 23 & could thus register as 23 day. How festive, yes?

Of course, generally speaking, I choose not to honestly say, "I am a Discordian," so I will not. I needn't celebrate any Discordian holidays at all (altho I like to when I remember).

Xmas has its roots in pagan winter festivals. I could celebrate one (or more) of those. A quick wikipedia search reveals lots of options.

Sadly, I missed Zamenhof Day.

Ah, how about HumanLight! A holiday devoted to celebrating secular humanistic ideals! Not bad!

Ok, enough of this. If you have ideas for what Andrew (& th cat, dog & gerbil that will spend these next two weeks with him) should celebrate, please write a friendly fnord.

Your humble chaotic rambler of soorts,

Monday, December 17, 2007

a 4th & 5th Poem of Three ! ! !

4 . porous tie trips ~Nim
5 . Triumphant, wrinkled calligraphy ~Jessi


(Now we're cooking with canola oil!)

Orphanage Show (& Poems of Three) ! ! !

! a l o h a !

Great fun & wonder equals th Orphanage, fun & wonderful indeed, & th place where I didst play mine tunes on th night prior to this moment for fun & wonder.

Amidst other fine bands & such (Division & Honore, Missing Score, Chicago Rose), I set a set of 34 minutes. Mine joy did seep!

New friends did I give words to - three wee words each - so that wee Poems of Three could find development. Here I show three such Poems of Three:

1 . bears do inspect ~Vinnie
2 . clustered dogs dynamic ~Mark
3 . beastly fnord mirror ~Zach

In time, I hope greatly to add new Poems of Three to your eyeballs for reading!

Th set I set:

.. feed th ghost > kiss me moose
.. 2G's > e blu apratus
.. ant lizrd dragn man [lyrics by SMarshall] > prikl prikl
.. stripes
.. how to ferment th colon
.. this ladybug
.. 25% mor monstr > chupacabra
.. 5 songs of fish

I will do more doings in upcomings, but I have yet to schedule. I will inform.

Gracious Lovely Anteaterish Diagrammatical Eggs,
Andr Nim

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Nimness @ Orphanage !! ! !!

A reminder:

Tomorrow I, Nodal Nim, do play mandosongs at th Orphanage!
!!!((( 643 W. 31st St., Chicago, Illinois 60616 )))!!!

It's an all-ages non-profit artspace, & you will adore it!

I play alongside four other local bands : music goes from 7 pm - 1 am!
I don't know when I'll be on, but probably around 9....

$10 donation to get in & eat tasty veggie food.

Join me for mandogasmic ridiculousness !! ! !!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

I want to tell you about my SAMMICH.

* oats
* groats
* brown sugar
* whatever else Tiffany put in it

* peanut butter
* habanero chile (1/4 of one pepper)
* garlic
* red bell pepper (1/4 of one pepper)
* cumin
* Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Salute

Seasoning Ingredient List:
* onions
* black pepper
* celery seed
* cayenne pepper
* parsley
* basil
* marjoram
* bay leaf
* oregano
* thyme
* savory
* rosemary
* cumin
* mustard
* coriander
* garlic
* carrot
* orange peel
* tomato granules
* lemon juice powder
* oil of lemon
* citric acid

Grilled In:
* olive oil
* soy sauce

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

dogng about th UPTOWN

Hi hi!

I continue to do dogs. We walk from place to place & back to place. We lick each other (mostly them me). We clean up each other's poo (mostly I theirs). I can't believe this autospellcheck doesn't know th word 'poo'!

(( But I have no trouble believing that it doesn't know th word 'autospellcheck'. ))

I had more dogs to walk than ever today. I had no time to breathe & I had to do multiple dogs just to keep up. I enjoyed it, tho, & it will pay.

Three dogs at once I found an interesting challenge. Little dog continually tried to hump medium dog (I guess he felt th need to compensate for size?) & big dog continually tugged everybody everywhere. All survived, even me.

I basically work alone, which I've never really done before. I drive to people's houses, nab their dogs, walk 'em, & put 'em back. Then I do it again. I run into people on th street ("Wow, those are big dogs! Are those Great Danes?"), but I don't have any co-workers to speak of, just two bosses that I call twice a day to check in with.

So I talk to th dogs. & myself. I also sing to them, when nobody's around. In a few months, maybe I'll have recorded an album of odes to my canines.

(( Or maybe I will have checked into an asylum. ))

I consider myself fortunate to work close enough to Northwestern University to pick up their campus radio station, WNUR. I've never found listening to th radio so pleasing. Every morning they play whacked out jazz until noon. After that, I find it hit or miss, but I always enjoy it better than any Clear Channel station on this planet.

(( On two separate occasions, I caught them playing Steve Reich's, 'It's Gonna Rain'. ))

I have one dog that drives me crazy: Tallin, a retired greyhound (still a greyhound, but retired from racing, presumably). He suffers from separation anxiety, they say, since his owner-mama started working again after some time at home unemployed. People who don't qualify as 'owner-mama' can only get him to cooperate by bribing him with salami. I do this, but he doesn't trust me. He lets me know this by barking & nipping at me. Every day. Without fail. Presumably, he does it to keep me in line, let me know who plays th boss, warn me not to try any funny business. But it makes me crazy! If I do th wrong thing, he could hurt me. No dog has ever made me this nervous.

I suppose my bulldog experience from two weeks ago (finally got th last stitches out this morning, but it remains a frightful sight) doesn't help my state of mind. I'd hate for two dogs to maul me. Anyway, everyone has been showing me support - bosses & owner-mama - & I continue doing what I can. His last walker eventually had no troubles. It just takes time.

But other than Tallin scaring th bejeebus out of me, dog-walking goes fine!

So now you know.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

some say his name is Tallin

Who is this greyhound-faced god? "His name is 'Everlasting Devourer,' and he liveth in the Domain [of Fire] (the Lake of Unt). . . . who feedeth upon the dead, who watcheth at the Bend of the Lake of Fire, who devoureth the bodies of the dead, and swalloweth hearts, and who voideth filth, but who himself remaineth unseen. . . . "Hail, Lord of Terror, Chief of the Lands of the South and North, thou Lord of the Desert, who dost keep prepared the block of slaughter, and who dost feed on the intestines [of men]!"

~ a bit of terror from th Egyptian Book of th Dead.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

boat toast

Somebody wants updates. I'm sure somebody wants them.


1 :: Last Wednesday I played Heartland Cafe open mic for th first time. I enjoyed it! but only got to play one song. By friendly request, I played 'vejtbls u'v nevr herd of'.

2 :: Und Last Thursday I played at th glorious Gallery Cabaret & had great fun bribing people with haikus to get them on my email list! Hooray for $4 pitchers of booze & nice human beings big & small.

Dogs (Doogs):

I walk them. Such is my new jobby.

An event took place on th first day of my job, that known as Monday. I encountered a 'bad dog,' as they say, a bulldog named (no lie) Spike who decided to get a good chomp on my right hand, completely unprovoked. He bit hard (as bulldogs will do), & now I have eight pretty blue stitches in this fortunately still five-fingered hand of mine. No great damage did Spike do, but enough to necessitate sutures, antibiotics, & a trip to th ER.

But I still love doggies & continue to walk them.

Many a wonderful dog do I walk - from gargantuan Great Danes (my largest clocks in at 200 plus pounds!) to a teeny-tiny Shitzu (or something) puppy that I (with my wimpy mandolin arm) could probably throw quite high into th air. (I will not attempt to make this happen; do not fear for th adorable puppy who chases his tail & fights his reflection!)

I am still in 'training,' since I cannot grip leashes with my damaged but faithfully healing right hand. Soon, tho, perhaps tomorrow or Friday, I will work alone, driving from house to house, walking fantastic canines & cleaning up their poo.

This job floats my boat.

Monday, November 5, 2007

multiverse spatterings

Hi there, multiverse, how do you do?

I sit on Monday afternoonish eating a home-made burrito with mushrooms & tarragon. My sweet Corgweiler friend Sparkus sits in whiny beg. Th Captain wails away 'Ice Cream For Crow'. All things go.

As of a week minus a day ago, I no longer work for Greenpeace. I enjoyed my time there, but th time came for newthings. Approaching hundreds of grumpy strangers for money every day grew wearisome.

I spend days diddling on my mandolin & job-fishing. I scheduled an interview today at a dog walkery not far from my bedside. On th Saturday that cometh next, return to walkery I will. Walkin' makes money. I like pupples.

In meantime, I seek opportunities for mandolinnery. I want to do many shows all of times. I want friendlies to do visitations & dance. Suchness makes happiness. Isness makes fallacy.

I will assemble information about th upcomings when they upcome.

Many Lovely Glove Spatterings,
Andrew th Nim

Friday, October 26, 2007

Airplanes all fly level on this Plane earth.

Aim: To carefully observe, think freely rediscover forgotten fact and oppose theoretical dogmatic assumptions. To help establish the United States...of the world on this flat earth. Replace the science religion...with SANITY

The International Flat Earth Society is the oldest continuous Society existing on the world today. It began with the Creation of the Creation. First the water...the face of the deep...without form or limits...just Water. Then the Land sitting in and on the Water, the Water then as now being flat and level, as is the very Nature of Water. There are, of course, mountains and valleys on the Land but since most of the World is Water, we say, "The World is Flat". Historical accounts and spoken history tell us the Land part may have been square, all in one mass at one time, then as now, the magnetic north being the Center. Vast cataclysmic events and shaking no doubt broke the land apart, divided the Land to be our present continents or islands as they exist today. One thing we know for sure about this world...the known inhabited world is Flat, Level, a Plain World.

We maintain that what is called 'Science' today and 'scientists' consist of the same old gang of witch doctors, sorcerers, tellers of tales, the 'Priest-Entertainers' for the common people. 'Science' consists of a weird, way-out occult concoction of gibberish theory-theology...unrelated to the real world of facts, technology and inventions, tall buildings and fast cars, airplanes and other Real and Good things in life; technology is not in any way related to the web of idiotic scientific theory. ALL inventors have been anti-science. The Wright brothers said: "Science theory held us up for years. When we threw out all science, started from experiment and experience, then we invented the airplane." By the way, airplanes all fly level on this Plane earth.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

rocktocky comeback (th impossible)

I made up for my three days of no sign-ups with two days of great awesomeness, which means I'll average out above quota for th week, after all. I've rediscovered canvassing consciousness. Equals hooray!

Thanks to those of you who expressed support. Your fnords & phone calls I did appreciate.

With love,

spametry of today

I've got a 12 inch



Saturday, October 13, 2007

dark night of th soul

Th time has come for me to reassess my goals with Greenpeace.

Why do I canvass?

.. To secure new members for Greenpeace so it can continue to defend th Earth.
.. To make enough money to live.
.. Because I already have this job & I'm used to it.
.. Because I work with amazing people that delight me.
.. To allow myself to replace my 'I'm not a people-person' programming script with an 'I can talk to & relate to anyone' programming script.
.. Because I can canvass well.

Securing New Members

On an abstract, logical level, I see th connection between my conversations, my sign-ups, & th great work that Greenpeace does all over th world. Lately, I've had trouble feeling motivated by that. Members leads to support leads to good work leads to a healthier planet, I know, but on a day-to-day basis, standing on street corners, that seems too abstract to inspire me recently.

Affording to Live

Important. I've finally stopped needing support from my mother for student loan payments, cell phone bills, rent, car insurance, etc. I live with Tiffany & Jordan now, & I help them every way that I can. I'm not getting rich, that's for sure, but I'm not freaking out about bills. I can actually afford to relax, eat out now & then, pick up new books, & other such little niceties. Th money issue inspires me to keep doing this job, but it doesn't make me like it.

I'm Used to This Job

I found that I can do this. This is what I do. What would be th alternative to canvassing? I don't want to substitute teach again. I'm still unsure about teaching music, also. Yes, I'd enjoy doing more of my own music - sometimes it really gets me down that I'm not - but I can't survive as a full time Nodal Nimist! In general, job hunting terrifies me. In Greenpeace, I have found employment.

Amazing People

I've never known as many fantastic, interesting, intelligent, warm, alive, intriguing, hilarious, inspiring, beautiful, complex people as I do now through Greenpeace! Altho I still miss so many Troy & Potsdam friends, I feel very loved here now. I would miss these people unbearably if I didn't see them five to seven days a week.

Developing a 'People-Person' Script

I (like all humans) cling desperately to my limited definition of myself, my habits, my ego. My self-consciousness has th potential to socially paralyze me. When I succeed in 'getting over myself,' I can canvass. All that exists in those moments is canvassing. No 'Andrew' (as I define him) & no 'Stranger' (also my definition). This doesn't happen all th time. It comes in waves. When I cannot reach this place, & languish, suffer, stress out, get angry & spiteful, fail to canvass. I want very much to shed this self-consciousness. In fact, I've seen myself do things on th street I would never have thought possible, things that would terrify me if I let them but can seem so easy! Lately, I've been pulling back from that, back into my own shell, back into 'Unfriendly Andrew,' my self-fulfilling prophesy, my illusionary ego creation, my stumbling block.

Skillful Canvassing

I can do this job. I know I can. I've done it. What seemed impossible I proved possible months ago. When I see this happen, it builds on itself, & I kick butt. Confidence helps me soar. Lately I've forgotten this, fallen back to bad habits, lost confidence. But I know I can do this. I need to remind myself. I need to prove it to myself again. I need to get over myself.

My canvassing funk has reached an all-time low. Three days in, I have signed up no new members. I'm behind expectations & requirements. I can't help but have thoughts like "I can't do this, I suck at this, I'm in th wrong job, I hate these people, these people hate me, I'd rather be home in bed, I bet I won't sign anyone up today, they're going to fire me, what am I doing here?". But I have a couple days of weekend to reflect now, to reassess. I had something & allowed myself to drop it. Well, now I'm going to pick myself back up. Now I'm going to face my fears & bruised ego & trepidation & make something new happen. I'm going to evolve.

I will emerge victorious from this dark night of th soul.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Here Comes Everybody

Finnegans Wake, James Joyce's otherworldly experimental (many say unreadable) epic, has occupied my consciousness, time, & happyspace in recent weeks, as I have diligently read it aloud to myself page by page, whilst tallying hours spent (my chart currently shows seven hours & ten minutes of reading). Altho I've had th book for a while & have often enjoyed thumbing thru it whilst grinning, this represents my first cover-to-cover reading. First of many, I hope.

Th experience of reading no other book comes close to that of Finnegans Wake; it defies rational grokking. Its 628 pages of complex, multilayered puns, riddles, dreamscapes, bits of wordmusic & total lucidity entrance me. Altho oodles of articles & books have been written on it, nobody on Earth understands it completely (or probably ever will), & I think that rocks. Timothy Leary claimed that "Joyce's prose prepared [him] to enter psychedelic space."

So I plan to read it first cold, without any guidebook to help make sense of it, simply read it from cover to cover. After this, my second reading will allow one or two guidebooks (of th very many that are available - perhaps A Skeleton Key to Finnegans Wake: Unlocking James Joyce's Masterwork, by mythographer Joseph Campbell &/or A Reader's Guide to Finnegans Wake by William York Tindall). My third reading might incorporate another (perhaps Annotations to Finnegans Wake, by Roland McHugh, considered quite encyclopedic). After a while, perhaps I'll start writing my own guidebook.

At some point, I may take to th bustling streets on my weekends & recite th Wake one chapter at a time to a baffled Chicagoan audience.

It's been said that not until a person has put in 1000 hours of reading time does one start to grok th Wake. Hence my tally chart.

While not reading guides exactly, I've been reading a bit here & there about the Wake. Here's an interesting bit from Robert Anton Wilson, from his book Coincidance: "The 'nat language' of Finnegans Wake, in fact, can best be described as hologrammic prose. Just as a hologram is so structured that each part contains the whole, Finnegans Wake is structured in puns and synchronicities that 'contain' and reflect each other, creating the closest approximation of an infinite regress ever achieved in any art form."

This study may eventually lead up to a massive music project. I won't go into that now, because it may take years to get around to.


Sunday, September 30, 2007

0 3 9

I worked tonyt to produce mini-CDs, which I theoretically offer to those interested parties, but which I have ignored in times recent. I will do givings in times soon of oldthings & newthing - a 23-part Erisian Ode of Soorts. It has sat in uncompleted ways on hard drive in iBook, but will emerge in a state in a time.


Saturday, September 29, 2007

fixx om 4

On Wednyt (at Fixx Coffee Bar) did play I:

.. glockenspiels
.. science

On Tonyt (at Greenpeace office party) did play I:

.. stelr nursery > baby star > brown dwarf
.. 25% mor monstr > 2 G's
.. vejtbls u'v nevr herd of

I'm thinking of trying out Heartland Cafe's open mic next Wednyt.


Sunday, September 16, 2007

Drew & Great Friends Great Time Happened

One Greenpeacefriendman by name Drew did invite Andrew Aaron Heathwaite (frabjous self) to do playings of Nimlibits at th former's (et al) party-for-we-have-an-apartment-now. Inside happy garage, under beams of florescence, charmed by proximity to green of pingpong, with friends I knew & didn't standing in viddy, I played one set as bard Nodal Nim.

I will make no attempt to recreate th song title content of th set.

I will speak of th fun. I had lots of. I hadn't played a longish set in longish a time, only doing occasional open mic things for lukewarm audiences. But Drewfriends all seemed to greatly enjoy, & that made many layered smiles manifest inside & out.

Th time arrives for me to seek shows about. I must start making contactings & schedulings & th like. I wish to do playings at all possible times & invite.

Thanks to Drewfriends & Myfriends & Allfriends who did stand in viddy to enjoyments.

Many abounding omniloves I send!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

fixx OM 3

What fun! For my third visit to Dan O's open mic at Fixx Coffee Bar, many many a wonderful Greenpeace friend did do showings! I played tunes for great enjoyment of self & all with extreme fnord. Zowie!

Mine songs performed:

.. how to ferment th colon
.. 2G's [requested by Amy R]
.. vejtbls u'v nevr herd of [requested by Chase]

So finally I feel appreciated in doing doings. I hope to continue in songery & seek shows in near dates. On Saturday, I may do friendparty mandolinings; such remains likely but questionmarked.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

fixx om 2

Make it known 'round th globules that Nim did play two tunes at Fixx Coffee Bar:

.. 2 Gs
.. Pablo

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Home [is where th absinthe isn't]

So I moved officially into Tiffany's apartment last week (while she & Jordan, her 10-year-old, were both away in Vermont), & now that they're back, we're doing some things to get organized. Kitchen things are put away, th SEGA Genesis & Nintendo (old school!) are both set up, & my tie rack sits proudly on th bedroom wall. Much work remains yet to be done, but I look forward to doing it.


I made a fantastic vegan sandwich just a moment ago! It consists of:

.. green beans
.. tarragon
.. cashews
.. peanut butter
.. vegan buttery spread (Soy Garden)
.. black pepper
.. sunflower seed bread

I stir fried th veggies, then fried th bread like a grilled cheese, with butter on th outside & peanut butter on th inside (to help th ingredients stick). Th Soy Garden works just like butter for frying & spreading!


~ a vegan, domestic, overbearded aah

p.s. Don't drink absinthe. You will regret it. Especially if you're "trying to sober up." Don't do it. Not even two little swigs. Not even if you see your friends waving their fingers in front of your face & hear them saying, "absinthe... absinthe... absinthe..." as if trying to inspire a psychedelic experience for you. Even if th absinthe appears blue. That's no excuse. You will regret it.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

fixx om 1 dot finnegans friend

Nodal Nim did play tunes at Fixx Coffee Bar this prior evening. A Greenpeacer named Dan-O did host, played guitar, invited goodtimes. In addition to my frabjous self, I saw some guitarists, a djembist, &, wonderfullest of all, a sitar player. All did doings immeasurably. I did:

.. 25% mor monstr
.. cal it Home
.. 5 songs of fish

This place did I enjoy: persons & friends listened intently as I played; plum oolong tea appealed to my buds.


On th trainride home, wondermagickal togetherhappenings did manifest. It began as I sat on my mandolincase whilst waiting for th train & reading from Finnegans Wake, James Joyce's masterwork in dreamlanguage non-linear holistic complexity. I enjoy partaking of said tome by opening to random pages & reading a few sentences, a paragraph or two, maybe, then opening to a new random page et cetera. I have not yet begun a cover-to-cover reading, altho I intend to when time ripens.

So as I sat with book, th wind blew pages, turning them randomly for me. Rather than grip th pages to prevent their turning, I enjoyed having th wind make my anti-decisions. So there I sat at th terminal, reading a book whose pages flapped in th wind, grinning & not seeming to mind.

A fellow (I estimate 32 years of age, thin, redheaded, only somewhat inebriated), when I glanced his way, handed me a Thing. I identified said Thing as a worn playing card, a two of hearts, actually, with an image of Elvis Presley on th front & back. Th fellow's explanation: "Bookmark." I thanked fellow with a grin, stuck th "bookmark" between some pages near th back of th book (sticking up so I could see it in peripheral vision), & continued doing exactly what I had been doing, amused that a confounded fellow found it appropriate to intercede in my peculiar reading practice.

I do wonder what he thought, seeing me do this. (John Cage might understand.)

So we rode th train together, & in th car, since no wind found its way to my book, I flipped th pages myself again, continuing to let th bookmark sit in its place. Th fellow sat not far away. We both got off at th Irving Park stop (Brown Line "L"), & at th bottom of th stairs:

HE: [Evidently amused.] Your bag is unzipped.

I: [Continuing to walk, not surprised or disturbed by th news.] Thanks!

HE: Wait, let me get it.

[I stop & th fellow begins to zip up a pocket on my bookbag.]

HE: I'm putting these matches in your bag. They're from my restaurant - you should come in sometime. [Drops in matches & finishes th zip.] I used to do this in grade school on purpose to make friends.

I: [With a chuckle.] Thanks again!

He passed me & turned right out of th station - I turned left. Only as he passed did I smell a touch of alcohol on him. (Yes, most people returning from a night out at 11:00 would have had a few beers - just plum oolong for me.) He found my private antics amusing, it would seem, & he found himself intrigued enough to invite me to his restaurant. I wonder what overall impression he got of me, how he explained me to himself. I felt elated by th whole strange thing (altho I didn't understand why), & I laughed & grinned all th way home & on & off until sleep overtook me.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

veganism hello


I really can't take th Hare Krishnas seriously, I decided. I won't accept any religion that takes its books literally. I heart healthy skepticism.

In th meantime, I've just finished moving into Tiffany & Jordan's apartment. I'd lived with George all year, but had spent much of my time there, so now I've made th move. I feel good about it.

I decided to embrace veganism, th boycotting of all products that come from animals. Since sixth grade, I've practiced vegetarianism, th boycotting of all meat products. I have done this not because I think humans shouldn't eat animals (historically, humans have always demonstrated omnivorous behavior, hunting & gathering, farming plants & domesticating animals), but because th meat industry raises animals in miserable conditions wherein they suffer as lifeless objects for our abuse. Meat in modern times implies animal abuse, which I decidedly do not condone.

Veganism goes one step further, refusing not only meat, but milk, eggs, cheese, honey, butter, etc. Obviously, it requires more discipline, since dairy products appear in many more foodthings than meat products. I used to say, "Cows don't die to make milk," which skirts th issue that, altho they don't die, they live unnatural lives wallowing in their own filth, hooked up to machines in factory farms, getting pumped full of hormones. Dairy in modern time also implies animals abuse - I knew this for years but chose to ignore it. I didn't want to commit to such a disciplined eating constraint.

But since starting at Greenpeace, I've met a handful of vegans who have shown me that veganism can work. It doesn't take much to become cognizant of animal products & avoid them in all forms. I feel great about my decision to stop lying to myself & stand up against an effed up form of animal torture.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Krsna Christ

So I recently checked out a nearby temple of th International Society for Krishna Consciousness, a.k.a. th Hare Krishnas. I had met a kind fellow on th street who offered me a book, Sri Isopanisad, which I took home & read with interest. Sunday I went to an open house promising:

* Musical Performance & Mantra Meditation
* Transcendental Philosophy
* FREE delicious vegetarian Feast

(I do enjoy feasts.)

I have found many things about th Hare Krishnas that I like a whole bunch. They advocate living a natural, simple life devoted to peace, love, & appreciation for th universe. They sing songs & chant, welcome people with open arms, & work to expand their consciousness. They consider all things Godly.

I have found a few things about them that irk me, also. Altho I can think of few more open-minded organized religions (they accept Jesus & th Buddha as holy men, even tho they don't connect directly with their movement, & they acknowledge that their path is one of many), they believe in Krishna as th Absolute Personality of Godhead, rather than one of many possible metaphors for an otherwise nearly unknowable God. They consider their path Supreme or Best & their holy books (particularly th Bhagavad Gita) Absolutely Perfect.

I don't accept Absolutes, but Relatives. I acknowledge Einstein & th Quantum Physicists & what they have taught us about th limitations inherent in every model.

For example, Hare Krishnas say that all forms of God emanate from th supreme, Krishna. Krishna has th attributes of a blue-skinned four-armed male anthropomorphic deity, who, while omnipotent & able to change forms, reduces absolutely to a blue-skinned four-armed male anthropomorphic deity. As soon as we accept this as th perfect image of God, we say that God cannot truly be black-skinned, twelve-armed, female & feline. But of course, ideas of God have emerged of so many different types that it makes no sense to me to limit our concept to one Absolute image.

Th idea of Krishna, like that of Isis, Yahweh, Tlaloc & Prometheus, can help us make sense of th universe & become more spiritual human beings. I find Krishna a beautiful metaphor, but not one that I choose to take literally.

That said, I intend to continue my exploration of th Krishna Consciousness Movement, thru reading, chanting, meditating, conversing with th very friendly monks, & trying to experience th Absolute Personality of Godhead as best I can while remaining agnostic.

Monday, August 13, 2007

one fine poem by mine Self & Scotthew

sandy crushed ants in scepters
stinging raspberry red fingers
bags of random piles and globs
bankers of men fishers of Steve
rotating mama's llama's
point zero one elephantitis
paint me a picture quiet one
with your soft sand wax
drippling organic crashmaidens
until cohering to swizzlesticks
fraternizing with Chandra
you and your fan mail (will you/won't you)
sing me a return address
I'll scribble down simple hydrocarbons
Be it the one or the many
skies win on down the roads
roadus barrels roll
in moon clocking fish fashion
orgies on bended knee
stale bites between binded bands
bungalow dungfaeries swell eight
times polygon orcs
wild times will do thee good
peckish whims on button gardens
acidic gardener cracks paste
& counsels bumping ornate slates
virgin victims upon solid centers
wane from thy temptation


There happened feastings.

Last night, in recognition of my awaying (which awayed just this morn), we (my Self, Ameh, Bleh), created from chaotic brain embers & hats just such a meal as did ignite fine wonders. I speak of a four-bibbit amazing. We three did makings - we added Nick Borden for eatings.

Appetizer of crunchy yum: Toast with Sundried Toe-mah-toes, Green Olives, Red Food Dye.

Drinkly of chunky yum: Watermelonjuice with Mintleafings (from Gardenpicked), Amaretto, Fine Bibbits of Horny Fruit (Green Globules which do Encasings of Seedies) for Sittings on Top.

Main Course of complex yum: Okra & Zucchini, Onion & Limejuice, Garam Marsala & Unboxwine, Allspice, Waters.

Dessert of commodius yum: Grapefruit Quarters, Yumsauce (Cotton Candy Quite Melted, Jam&Waters).

a hitching

A wedding I did attend - th hitching of Eric Fauss to Stephanie Thompson & vice versa! Fun abounded in bounds - from togethertastic lovely fronds of vows & speakings, to a ringing & a counterringing, to dances & cocktails & toasts, to smiling bibbits of most excellent happy. I felt honored & awed to participate (as Best I could). Hooray for all!

I did carpooling with th lovely Scott & Gillian. We encountered fun, adventure & secrets with our sexy GPS robot named Nuvi. Good friendlies at feastings included Jen A, Nathan S, Rachael F. I enjoyed seeing & meeting family & friends from all walks. Togethermagick abounded in ways. Hooray for all!

A goodness & sweetness & triumph & yay.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Troytown Ithakatown Dublintown

Today I did arrive in Troytown for th doings of wed & happies; also, I did complete one full reading of Ulysses by James Joyce (here you can find an interesting essay on Ulysses & cybernetics slash hypertext).

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Holy hey diddle diddle

Holy hey diddle diddle (didl didl in cut spelng for those curious explorer types), I've been working at Greenpeace for an effing month! So weird, it seems to me, that I do what I do.

Often in life, I've felt like some space alien who crashlanded on th wrongest planet possible. I have never bought others' reality, never excelled at assimilation, never found myself easily grokked by th people around me. Chicago has seemed like just another miserable city on th planet of th squares slash ueber hip slash conformists slash nonconformistconformists. As always, I can find no culture, no subculture, of Andrews.

But since I stumbled into Greenpeace, I very recently realized that I have things that I can fairly & proudly call friends. We're th office of th misfits, & I effing love it.

I have stumbled upon friends in th past of course. It happens thru avenues of theatre, music, clay, & chaos - thru art - transcendent, chaotic, divine, explosively rich & challenging art. Thinking of this, I reach a realization that we Greenpeacers do art.

It goes like this:

Every day, I go to some given streetcorner in Chicago, approach hundreds of absolute strangers - each in their own reality tunnels trying to get thru th hectic day without losing their minds - & start conversations:

How are you today, sir? How do you feel about Global Warming? - Ma'am, you wanna help save a Polar Bear today, right? - This guy looks like an environmentalist! Have you heard about Greenpeace, man? - Come talk to me about saving our Mother Earth!

I find it utterly fascinating how absolutely th same everyone seems & how absolutely unique at th same time. I never have th same conversation twice. Never! (But th goal remains th same, more or less: convince th mark that Greenpeace is worth donating to & get em to fill out my form & give me eir credit card number.)

In conclusion, we do art:

.th art of conversation
.th art of manipulation slash persuasion
.th art of selling (a reality-tunnel, an organization, a future)
.th art of rhetoric
.th art of canvassing (as this activity gets officially called)

No one does this job th same. No one paints th same painting (slash reality-tunnel slash conversation etc). We do art - transcendent, chaotic, divine, explosively rich & challenging art.

((((( So it feels on a "good day." )))))

Thursday, August 2, 2007


Since my last post, I missed birthdays - mine & at least two others, probably millions - & also Discordian holydays - Confuflux & th 23rd of July (I think all 23s ought to be holydays). I also failed to mention another Gallery Cabaret open mic that I played last week. I don't think it worth mentioning except to say that I wound up 23rd on th list thru no conscious action of mine.


I've quite by accident discovered another holynumber of some importance: 331.

A few weeks ago, Greenpeace Chicago got 331 new member sign-ups, breaking th national records of all Greenpeace offices. It stands as our personal best.

A few days ago, another Greenpeacer & I signed each other up as members. Here's how I determined what I would donate: about a quarter a day is 12 dollars a month. Twelve dollars is slightly more than minimum, which is 10 dollars. I decided I like th number 13 better than th number 12. So I wrote 13. Then I decided to make it a palindrome, so I added .31, making th donation 13.31. See th 331? I didn't intend it, but it seemed fitting.

This didn't seem weird until this morning, when I bought a feta pasta salad. Th price? $3.31.

I'll keep you posted on further occurances of this number, & I invite you to do th same.

By th way, how does 331 fit with th Law of Fives? Quite simple:

3 + 3 - 1 = 5.

Friday, July 20, 2007

You're jealous

of my dinner of instant Indian food (veg korma) followed by home-made crepes & yummy tasty yummy cherry wine. Tiffany soon shall go away for a week, so we make enjoyments of sensations of yum & make yummy noises. In her absence, I intend to reads lots & lots of Ulysses & play mando & go. Also, Wednesday represents both payday & th firstname of one of th five peeps that I did sign on to Greenpeace today.

I like Dionysus.

A good experiment for th doing: try this reality:

Everything is connected. Everything is of th same divine essence; everything is a manifestation of God - God is a manifestation of everything. All disconnections are illusory.

When I see a person on th street, th person is me; I am th person. When an old woman scratches her head, I am an old woman scratching my head. When a nervous dude shuffles by & tries not to be noticed, I am a nervous dude shuffling by, trying not to be noticed. When my girlfriend packs for a week-long trip, I am Andrew's girlfriend packing for a week-long trip. & so on. For ever.

All th universe is contained in every component of th universe. Every subatomic particle contains every dimension possible. I am my dog. My dog is me. I am my God. My God is me.

Lather, rinse, & repeat.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

magick 6 (7?)

Greenpeace continues to rock my socks. Altho on Monday & Tuesday we worked some weatheryucky days, today th temp stayed at a wonderful 71 degrees & awesome. I signed up six new members. On some of th sign-ups, I got really lucky, & on some I had to work for it. I'm turning into quite th manipulator!

As long as I stay above a certain minimum, my job remains secure. When I blow my minimum out of th water, I start to bonus & get more money. I hope to bonus my first week; I have bills.

Oh, & th sevenquestionmark in th title refers to a telephone sign-up (a.k.a. call-back) that I made this evening after my shift ended. It will count for tomorrow, so my record for one day remains six.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

kicking ass & taking names

...literally. Well, th names part, not th kicking ass part.

Today I had my first real day of work as a Greenpeace frontliner, which means a person who approaches people on th street to sign them up as monthly members, & it totally rocked! As a newbie, I was expected to approach lots of people & practice my spiel, plus get at least one new member, at any donation level. I was crafty (& lucky) enough to get two new members. They donated 20 & 25 dollars, bringing me to a total for th day of $45, which is well above th requirements for full workers who've already finished training! Wow!

Beginner's luck, perhaps.

But I really enjoyed it. I feel like this type of experience will do wonders for my social anxieties. If I can talk comfortably to hundreds of strangers every day at my job, it'll find it that much easier to talk to strangers out of work, at bars & restaurants & wherever else people run into people.

Plus, Greenpeace rocks, & it feels awesome to work for it.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Andrew's living nightmare

Imagine being given 10 minutes to prepare a 5-minute speech describing why you'd be a good candidate for a job. You're told ahead of time that your interview would be taped & that one of th interviewers would be an expert on body language & would be evaluating your gestures, posture, et cetera. Imagine you don't get to take your notes in & that you may be on some sort of mystery drug but you're not sure what.

Imagine that when you get in there, th two interviewers don't smile or introduce themselves, but just tell you to sit & start. Your image appears live on a TV screen directly in front of you. Imagine that you get completely flustered & sound like an absolutely incompetent moron while th interviewers just look at you blankly & take notes. When th 5-minute timer goes off, you are asked to do difficult mental math along th lines of "Count back from 6,422 by 13s." When you mess up, th interviewer on th left (a large black man who reminds you of a cop) says, "Are you just guessing? You know that's not right. Start over," & then gives you a larger number to start from. When th 5-minute timer goes off again, he says, "You may leave."

20 seconds after that humiliating debacle, you're sitting in a hospital bed getting blood drawn from your left arm, your blood pressure measured from your right arm, told to chew on a dry white tube so they can have a saliva sample, & told to fill out a form describing your emotional state: "On a scale from 0 to 4, how much are you feeling th following emotions: happy... frightened... angry... unsure about things... confused... bitter... self-confident... elated... confused... overjoyed... et cetera." This goes on repeatedly for th next half hour, with at least three people in th room poking & prodding you constantly.

This really happened to me. Yesterday. I swear to you.

It was a scientific experiment. I was th guinea pig. I did it at th University of Chicago for a hundred bucks. They gave me a mystery drug at around 9:00 AM & had me sit comfortably in a hospital bed reading & watching TV, filling out those "subjective response" forms every hour until around noon while I watched TV & read books I brought. I became very relaxed & started to think, "This is th easiest hundred bucks anybody has ever made."

I knew that I'd be asked to perform some task, but I didn't know what it would be. I didn't really concern myself with that. I figured it would be something cognitive, like sorting or alphabetizing. At noon, th person in charge set me up & ten minutes later I was in th interview room being terrorized!


At first, I felt really embarrassed, angry, lied to, taken advantage of, inadequate (for th imaginary job) & generally stressed out. I had just experienced a real waking nightmare! It was like all my worst days of submarining all rolled into ten minutes in hell! But I soon realized that th "task" wasn't really a test of my ability to talk or anything like that, but just a tricky scenario designed to catch me off guard & fuck me up royally, & it absolutely worked! I'm sure they found all sorts of stress-related endorphins in my blood & a heartbeat going crazy, & I can tell you that I put my first 4's on th "subjective response" sheets (4 = Extremely).

But when I realized how it all fit together, I laughed about it & noticed that I got a big rush out of it. It was like jumping out of an airplane & surviving; like a terrible horror movie; like almost dying in a fiery high-speed car wreck - but surviving. It was a rush!

Hooray for science! Sign me up for another one!

P.S. Th large black man, it turns out, was indeed a retired Chicago cop. Th mystery drug was progesterone, a human hormone. They're considering its use as a destresser, but at this dosage, it doesn't seem to help much.

Sunday, July 1, 2007


Th Aztec Calendar has provided fun & inspiration again today. Th tonalpohualli (260-day count) declares today:

6-Xochitl (flower)

Th 6 aligns us with Mictlantecuhtli, Lord of th Land of th Dead (Mictlan):

Th daysign Xochitl (flower) aligns us with Xochiquetzal, "Flower Feather," the ever young and pretty goddess of flowers, love, pleasure and beauty. She is also patron of artists:

Tiffany & I biked up to Rosehill Cemetery, a very old & very large cemetery not far from us. We walked around, sat under a groovy tree by a groovy pond, & played some cribbage. We made a few friends: a humongous turtle, who stuck his softball-sized head out of th pond & took a long suspicious look at us; & a wee butterfly, who made a landing on my right shoulder before zipping away again. I associated them with our two deities of th day: Mictlantecuhtli & Xochiquetzal.

Later, we caught a woodwind quintet concert at a Lutheran church & doubled th size of th wee audience. Carl Nielson reminded me of th awesomeness of sonata form (with its two contrasting themes & complex development section), so I left inspired to bring Mictlantecuhtli (as manifested by th turtle) & Xochiquetzal (as manifested by th butterfly) together in song called th 6-Flower Sonata. A project awaits!

Friday, June 29, 2007


Two days ago, I discovered all my job leads had fallen thru th proverbial cracks & I found myself back at square effing one. No record store retail; no full-time dog-walking for rich white people in fancy neighborhoods. In fact, I found myself discouraged & miserable about it; yesterday, I ignored th problem & slept until 2:00.

But today I remembered a pretty girl who stopped me on th street a few weeks ago soliciting for Greenpeace. I told her I'd love to join but I can't afford extra expenses, since I quit my job & all my bills lie in wait to ambush me at th end of th month. She rocked, though; we talked about jobs a bit & she said, "By th way, Greenpeace is hiring..." That got th wheels turning.

So today I called Greenpeace at 11:00ish (after having applied for another coffee-sloshing job that I didn't feel too thrilled about), & I got invited to a group interview at 1:00. I zipped down to my apartment (from Tiffany's), washed up, threw on a tie-dye shirt for good karma, & got all sweaty again biking downtown for th meeting. Th girl who interviewed us rocked & got me excited about environmentalism (something I've always felt strongly about anyway). Th other three job-hunters there also rocked. We had some good conversations between th one-on-one interviews. Two of them have come from Ireland for th summer (but they haven't read any James Joyce), and th other comes from Michigan. So after each of us finished our one-on-ones, we all four got hired in one giant ecstatic moment of relief!

I start training on Monday! Hot dog!

On th bike ride home, a guy came up to me, "Hey, man, would you like to join Greenpeace!" & I was all like, "I am one of you, my man, I just got hired today!" So I introduced myself to my new comrade Drew.


th sevens.

Yesterday, I played my seventh open mic at Gallery Cabaret, & th day prior I played my seventh at Hotti Biscotti. I've been experimenting with a new format of Nimsong-cover-Nimsong, since I've practiced some covers I enjoy & seem to fit what I do.

Hotti Biscotti:

.. slip on broken violence now [co-writer: NBorden]
.. Ella Guru [cover of a song by Captain Beefheart]
.. 5 songs of fish

Gallery Cabaret:

.. 2G's [request]
.. Ella Guru [ditto]
.. glockenspiels

I've laid back from my daily divinations in favor of studying & applying th Aztec 260-day calendar called th tonalpohualli, which I find intensely fascinating. Explore it yourself & find joy.

All my potential jobs have fallen thru th cracks, except perhaps for professional guinea-pigging at th University of Chicago (as a research test subject getting injected with mystery drugs & such). So I started from scratch today & got an interview at Greenpeace doing "Face-to-face street fundraising". In fact, I need to get moving so I can make it there on time.

4 - Tecpatl (flint knife)


a goofy plaid tie with a shirt that did not warrant a tie

I am cute. Flattered, also, & taken, for th record.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

2 - Cozcacuauhtli (vulture)

My fortune (& also yours), based on th current day on th sacred Aztec day-count (tonalpohualli) calendar, taken from

2 - Cozcacuauhtli (vulture)

Day numeral Ome (2):

Tlaltecuhtli, Lord of Earth, personification of the earth, is the provider of the Spirit Soul (Teyollia) for days with numeral 2 (ome).
The volatile for this day is the Green Hummingbird (Quetzalhuitzilin).

Daysign Cozcacuauhtli:

The protector of day Cozcacuauhtli (Vulture) and the provider of the Shadow Soul or Tonalli is Itzpapalotl. Cozcacuauhtli signifies long life, wisdom, good counsel and mental equilibrium. It is a good day to confront the discontinuities, disruptions, failures and deaths one suffers in life. Cozcacuauhtli is a day for tricking the Trickster.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

th Gods of Certification Tests (& 111th st)

Going on three hours of sleep, I drove my desperately-in-need-of-an-oil-change-&-tune-up Honda way th hey down to 111th st for a teacher certification test in th area of music (kallisti free, this kind). Indeed, fatigue I felt, although also zippy zaps from my lapsang souchong, but I survived (did well, I think) & have th gods to thank. You see, I rolled a 1 (again) on a d6, selecting by chance a reality-tunnel to see thru today: Paganism. So I traveled Long & South whilst praying to (amongst many): Apollo, Eris, Pan, Baphomet, Orpheus, Ra, Isis, Horus. On th return trip, I added Thoth & Odin. You may recognize a Western bias here, & I would surely agree that I have much work to do on introducing myself to non-Western god(desse)s. So that will constitute a project for this afternoon: starting with some African Yoruba Orishas (here) & moving on th Mayan pantheon (which I began studying last night in point of fact; did you know th Mayans worshiped a goddess of suicide named Ixtab, whom we often find depicted hanging from a tree, partially decomposed? How deliciously morbid!).

Hail Ixtab!

Eris inspired some beautifully ridiculous bureaucracy today, when a couple hundred or so teachers & teachers-to-be were not allowed to enter th testing facility before exactly 7:30 (although I think it was later than that) & were forced to stand huddled in th pouring rain right outside th door. (Hail th Rain Gods, all zillion of them!) Th testing experience provided lots more opportunities to witness th utter confusion & discord that inevitably accompanies our beautifully ridiculous bureaucracy. Even th spelling of th word bureaucracy exudes utter confusion & discord, don't you think? Hail Eris!

Lastly, I want to mention th spec-effing-tacular show that George & Tiffany & I attended last night. Th wondermagickal Fiery Furnaces performed at th Empty Bottle, rather near my apartment, I popped my mama-effing brainhole, I swear to Yahweh! They have a way of shattering their songs to a billion pieces & piecing them back together in inspiring ways with beautiful chaotic glue. They made me want to throw all my songs off th Sears Tower & write new ones! In a good way! Hail Furnaces!

Friday, June 22, 2007

thingus flakes

Interesting tarot-flakes on this day:

Thesis ::: XVIII th MOON
Antithesis :: I th MAGICIAN
Synthesis : PAGE of pentacles

A simple three-card spread I could do in th library whilst waiting for computer-time without causing a ruckus. It shows a divine inner battle: illusion/fantasy/daydreams VERSUS concentration/consciousness/power. Well opposed, both important to me at this time, thesis & antithesis. So our third card, synthesis, shows us th sexy resolution: earth of earth, trust, prosperity, pragmatism. Rather closer to th antithesis than th thesis, but affected somewhat by th innocence implied by th MOON. A good pretty thingus.

[[[[[ Note also th utterly great undeniable synchronistic et cetera reappearance of th Moon & th Magician, which popped up on Bloomsday (last Saturday) as secondary & unconscious factors of estufas. ]]]]]

I leave you with a chapter from Gertrude Stein's Tender Buttons:


More of double.

A place in no new table.

A single image is not splendor. Dirty is yellow. A sign of more in not mentioned. A piece of coffee is not a detainer. The resemblance to yellow is dirtier and distincter. The clean mixture is whiter and not coal color, never more coal color than altogether.

The sight of a reason, the same sight slighter, the sight of a simpler negative answer, the same sore sounder, the intention to wishing, the same splendor, the same furniture.

The time to show a message is when too late and later there is no hanging in a blight.

A not torn rose-wood color. If it is not dangerous then a pleasure and more than any other if it is cheap is not cheaper. The amusing side is that the sooner there are no fewer the more certain is the necessity dwindled. Supposing that the case contained rose-wood and a color. Supposing that there was no reason for a distress and more likely for a number, supposing that there was no astonishment, is it not necessary to mingle astonishment.

The settling of stationing cleaning is one way not to shatter scatter and scattering. The one way to use custom is to use soap and silk for cleaning. The one way to see cotton is to have a design concentrating the illusion and the illustration. The perfect way is to accustom the thing to have a lining and the shape of a ribbon and to be solid, quite solid in standing and to use heaviness in morning. It is light enough in that. It has that shape nicely. Very nicely may not be exaggerating. Very strongly may be sincerely fainting. May be strangely flattering. May not be strange in everything. May not be strange to.

Gallery Cabaret OM 5 & 6

In one former moon (day of Thor) did I go to th Gallery Cabaret open mic. Whilst waiting long hours to do doings (Nim 13th on list), Tiffany & I collectively penned some absurd slash obscene poems which I later recited to intro songs. My set, then:

Let's fuck in ketchup & bunnies! Ecstatic licorice flakes strut simmering, sticky, supple stubble surrounding pink onions. My bosoms jump & swim poodles sleep shuck. Stop billowing piss heads & blood popsicles, Tusk, tisk, tassle, slop bottoms. BLAAAAARGH!

.. this ladybug

Knapsack nipping teeth plus teeth AND spore's nipples - wascally, oh! Superfresh ribs, humble (Brap) clocks droop dangles diddly. Smug hoop 'cumbers smooch smilingly poop plasters & nudes burn fingeress flutes. Zip under sundries, sundials, sunken SNEAKY BEASTIES, nasties, nuptuals & foof-fart blisters. Puppies, puppies, pupples.

.. Unison [cover of a song by Björk]

Green gulch toads fizzle spiffingly but BEWARE, fluffy fooflings fuck & slurp petroleum bubbles. Gentlemen cork your kitties; ladies lip bacons. Swampy swimming pimples glue butter fuckings, YES! Occult cockroaches noodle nuzzle napes, pop!

.. hulo, wil u be my Sheep?


Furthermore, I shall tell you this: I forgot to mention my playings at same open mic in week prior! Last week, did I play another three songs? Yes:

.. prickle prickle
.. Philosophy of th World [cover of a song by th Shaggs]
.. 2Gs

Thursday, June 21, 2007

biting thru

21. Biting Thru

Biting thru has success.
It is favorable to let justice be administered.

Thunder & lightning:
Th image of biting thru.
Thus th kings of former times made firm th laws
Thru clearly defined penalties.

I think this means I should make a particular phone call this afternoon. I will proceed in making it.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

a three-card tarot

Card 1: Where am I physically?


Card 2: Where am I mentally?


Card 3: Where am I spiritually?


Tuesday, June 19, 2007

heart's tone

Finnegans Fortune, page 454:

A word apparting and shall the heart's tone be silent.

Monday, June 18, 2007

5 arcana of Isabelle - 4 cups & a sword

My 5-card spread of th day (Isabelle Spread):

1 : positive aspects of the situation.


2 : negative aspects : what are the obstacles ?


3 : How I see the situation myself ?

X of Cups : * JOY * PEACE * FAMILY

4 : what is going to happen in the short run.


5 : what is going to happen in the long run.


Sunday, June 17, 2007

666. . . 6?

As a strange conclusion to yesterday's Beastly Mysterees, I drew a single tarot card today & it turned out to be VI of Wands, yesterday's missing six! How perfectly interesting! Check out th meaning of this one: triumph, acclaim, & pride. Sounds like a delightful thingus.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Bloomsday Mysterees

Happy joyous Bloomsday, friendlies! Tomorrow will be th 103rd anniversary of th events of Ulysses - th epic experimental novel by James Joyce - & in Dublin, this means celebration! Also here, in th chair I sit in, I smile to think of it (& wish I were in Dublin listening to a tipsy Irishman reciting it).

(It's named Bloomsday after th main character, Leopold Bloom.)

Eric Fauss & I have begun a long-distance two-man book club of sorts, & find it very awesome that our reading of th book coincides with Bloomsday. Another Eric, this one my uncle, sent a message to his buddies wishing all a happy Bloomsday. So many happy Bloomsdays & Erics do I wish upon all with fervent jubilations!

666 & secrets revealed.

Th tarot spread in th post below represents th first that I have done. I ran out of time to provide any interpretation, but here's my highly amateurish analysis:

Th heart of th matter? Innocence, childhood, as represented by th VI of Cups. I take this to refer to my work with children - with teaching - an important thing to me. Opposing me - illusion & fear, as represented by th Moon. I have unconsciously manifested th Magician, a powerful entity of change & control, while consciously manifesting Strength, representing also patience & compassion. So inside, I desire to affect change, while outside I wait (& look for work in retail, etc.). My past in this department is perfectly represented by th X of Wands - overextending, burdens, struggles. That sounds like substitute teaching. Th future? Justice! Perfect. (I want Justice.)

How do I see myself? Th VI of Swords gives us th answer: somewhat depressed, recovering (from my subbing experience), feeling uprooted in this Chicago place. How do others see me? Th Devil! That means materialistic, ignorant, & hopelessly trapped. People don't understand me & my lack of concern for their illusions & I can see how some might spot th Devil in me.

Behind these identity concerns, we find my hopes & fears represented by th VI of Pentacles - concern with having & not having resources, knowledge, & power. This makes plenty of sense to me, as I struggle with control over bills & jobs. Now th exciting part, th outcome: th Tower! Th Tower represents sudden change, release, a humbling downfall, & a life-changing revelation. This card traditionally depicts two people falling to their death from a medieval tower that's just been struck by lightning!

It doesn't come with a guaranteed negative connotation, though. Th Tower kicks you in th eye, smacks you around a bit, brings change into your life (unexpectedly!) & generally disorders your personal universe. Sometimes for th better! I think I need to get a zap of lightning to th head, so I feel pleased by this doomy-seeming outcome.

One more thing: notice how many major arcana cards I received - more than minor. (Th major arcana have th cool names; th minor arcana come with suits: wands, cups, swords, & pentacles.) This supposedly gives th reading extra importance & such. I received one minor card from each suit, which seems pretty balanced. But look at th numbers. X of Wands, VI of Cups, VI of Swords, VI of Pentacles. 666! Th number of th Beast & Aleister Crowley! Notice that I also received th Devil (a major arcana card), further emphasizing th occult forces at work here. Perhaps Crowley (or his Holy Guardian Angel) is sending me messages in my tarot spreads. That's thoughtful of him. Thanks, Al, for creeping me out!


I enjoyed that. I didn't think I'd find it so easy to make sense out of my first tarot spread. How encouraging! More to come in futures.

Celtic Cross on Bloomsday

I did my first Celtic Cross tarot reading this morn:

1 .. Primary FactorVI of Cups
2 .. Secondary FactorXVIII th Moon
3 .. Unconscious FactorI th Magician
4 .. PastX of Wands
5 .. Conscious InfluenceXI Strength
6 .. FutureVIII Justice
7 .. You As You See YourselfVI of Swords
8 .. You As Others See YouXV th Devil
9 .. Hopes & FearsVI of Pentacles
10 .. OutcomeXVI th Tower

P.S. Happy Bloomsday!

Friday, June 15, 2007

bright-ruling ninny noodles

Today's cryptic Finnegans Fortune - from page 520:

Will you swear or affirm the day to yur second sight noo and recant that all yu affirmed to profetised at first sight for his southerly accent was all paddyflaherty?

A pushy request to disregard, recant "first sight" in favor of "second sight." I am told to officially state that all that I profetised (similar to prophesied?) is "paddyflaherty." But what is paddyflaherty?

A name. A pub.

Pad·dy (pād'ē)
n. Offensive Slang
Used as a disparaging term for a person, especially a man, of Irish birth or descent.

...–noun, plural -dies.
1. a rice field.
2. rice, esp. in the husk, either uncut or gathered.

Ir. Flaithbheartach, lit. "Bright-Ruler."

Also, Flaherty is a common Irish surname; in fact, my smiteful friend Ameh is a Flaherty.

So I am instructed to claim that my "first sight" (noo?) is derogatory Irish alcoholic bright-ruling rice linked in some way to my smiteful friend Ameh. This doesn't seem so bad. I like Ameh, rice, alcohol, etc. I claim that my first sight is indeed paddyflaherty of th highest order!


Maybe Joyce refers to Ninny Noodle Noo, a toy company (that had probably not existed yet) "stocking heirloom quality Ostheimer toy figures for children and adult collectors; high quality wooden role-play and traditional toys; stylish children's clothes in the softest certified organic cotton and organic toiletries."

That must be it! I hereby "affirm the day to [my] second sight noo." With noodles.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

th K.

I just figured out what th K stands for in magick & musick! Certainly, it must stand for KALLISTI!


Mouth's Receptive Cradle

27. th Corners of th Mouth (Providing Nourishment)


Th corners of th mouth.
Perseverance brings good fortune.
Pay heed to th providing of nourishment
And to what a man seeks
To fill his own mouth with.


At th foot of th mountain, thunder:
Th image of providing nourishment.
Thus th superior man is careful of his words
And temperate in eating & drinking.

Nine at th beginning means:
You let your magic tortoise go,
And look at me with th corners of your mouth drooping.

Nine at th top means:
Th source of nourishment.
Awareness of danger brings good fortune.
It furthers one to cross th great water.

2. th Receptive

Th receptive brings about sublime success,
Furthering through th perseverance of a mare.
If th superior man undertakes something & tries to lead,
He goes astray;
But if he follows, he finds guidance.
It is favorable to find friends in th west & south,
To forego friends in th east & north.
Quiet perseverance brings good fortune.

Th earth's condition is receptive devotion.
Thus th superior man who has breadth of character
Carries th outer world.

Six at th beginning means:
When there is hoarfrost underfoot,
Solid ice is not far off.

Six at th top means:
Dragons fight in th meadow.
Their blood is black & yellow.

So reads my I Ching for today. A reminder of nourishment seems helpful today. I slept well, worked out (yes, I do that sometimes), & played lots of nourishing music(k). However, my house lacks healthy foods; I will take th advice of th I Ching & pick up some groovy groceries after this.

I hope to get my magic tortoise back real soon.

How th Receptive will affect me after th Nourishment fully manifests, I cannot yet know. However, if I can fully manifest receptivity & follow (rather than lead), I will experience sublime success.

That sounds pleasant.

music(k) news

Zikes, I've forgotten to talk about my music(k)ings! I originally started this blog for th sole purpose of keeping track of my Nodal Nim & xenharmonics projects long ago. Well, now I tell th latest.


I have begun musicking with a gentleman named Eddie. We express enthusiasm for dual sounds that please (slash disturb) th ear & spirit in near future times.


Upon th headstock of my mando, I attach a children's small plastic toy garden hoe with trusty rubber bands; to th flat end of th hoe I attach a small plastic food storage box with trusty duct tape; inside th food storage box I attach a cut piece of necktie for softening sound, again with trusty duct tape; into th box I place six dollars.

Thus I have created a tips box attached to my instrument! Why? For fun, for mobility, & to attract th eye. I busked with said box once last week - made one dollar & promptly lost it (I need to make sure th lid to my tips box stays shut whilst not accepting tips, or th wind robs me of dollars).


I did play last night:

.. prickle prickle
.. ant lizard dragon man (co-writer: S.Marshall)
.. th slipry toad
.. chupacabra
.. glockenspiels
.. e blu apratus

Certainty of this order of playing I have not.


I have done some putting together of a 23-songlet Erisian Ode of sorts & find myself pleased by th results at recent points in spacetime. I suspect I will have it finished & on myspace in near dates. Additional details of such thing follow in necessary moments in patience.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

retreat & stagnation

33. Retreat

Retreat. Success.
In what is small, perseverance furthers.

Mountain under heaven: th image of retreat.
Thus th superior man keeps th inferior man at a distance,
Not angrily but with reserve.

Nine in th third place means:
A halted retreat
Is nerve-wracking & dangerous.
To retain people as men- & maidservants
Brings good fortune.

12. Standstill (Stagnation)

Standstill. Evil people do not further
Th perseverance of th superior man.
Th great departs; th small approaches.

Heaven & earth do not unite:
Th image of standstill.
Thus th superior man falls back upon his inner worth
In order to escape th difficulties.
He does not permit himself to be honored with revenue.

Six in th third place means:
They bear shame.

Thus will my day unfold. Not surprising. I've got some interpersonal conflict going on with a 10-year-old right now. Not wanting to make things worse, & having done enough, I have already chosen to retreat (from conflict, but stand firm in convictions). I'd like a resolution soon, but knowing th stubbornness of th parties involved, standstill & stagnation seems more likely. Oy vey.

No news on a job. Started (re)reading Ulysses for Eric's & my two-man long-distance book club this morn.


Monday, June 11, 2007

16 & 87

I selected two chapters from Crowley's Book of Lies as today's daily divination: 16 & 87. I have no further explanation to offer.



Death implies change and individuality if thou be
THAT which hath no person, which is beyond the
changing, even beyond changelessness, what hast
thou to do with death?
The bird of individuality is ecstasy; so also is its
In love the individuality is slain; who loves not love?
Love death therefore, and long eagerly for it.
Die Daily.



There is a dish of sharks' fins and of sea-slug, well set
in birds' nests...oh!
Also there is a souffle most exquisite of Chow-Chow.
These did I devise.
But I have never tasted anything to match the


which she gave me before She went away.
March 22, 1912. E. V.

Note: In th book, a sigil appears in place of (?).

Sunday, June 10, 2007

my work with onions

For today's daily divination, I selected four Tarot cards.

My concept: Each card represents one illusion which manifests in reality before dissovling & giving way to th next illusion (next card), which represents one level closer to th core of reality (or at least my reality for this day). With each card, we peel back one layer, like an onion. However, th fourth card, does not represent th "core of reality," just th deepest level we could reach - still just another illusion.

(We cannot reach th core of reality. In fact, we cannot say with certainty that such a thing exists.)

ACE of PENTACLES manifests, then dissolves, giving way to

IV: th EMPEROR, which gives way to

VII of CUPS, which gives way to


So, while on th outside, I summon material force (A of P), under that, I summon authority & structure (E). Such activities give way to exploration of options & wishful thinking (VII of C). Finally, wishful thinking gives way to a bold, creative, fiery force (K of W). What that force gives way to, no one can say.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

footsy five

My Finnegans for today, from page 255:

scaling five footsy five and spanning thirtyseven inchettes round the good companions

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

how very Sya

& another thing! I propose th use of th word Sya to describe something which fits th claim of Discordian Apostle Sri Syadasti that "all affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense."

When somebody says something to me & agree with it, I might be tempted to say, "That is true." Instead, I should say, "That is Sya."

Likewise, when somebody says something to me & I disagree with it, I might be tempted to say, "That is false." Instead, I should say, "That is Sya."

Thus will I succeed in remaining agnostic about th "essence" of th universe.

After all, nothing "is entirely true" or "is entirely false" when you look at it with an open mind. Instead, all things "are Sya".

[[[[[ Note that th claim that all things "are Sya" is itself Sya, as is this claim I am now making & all other claims that can be made about this claim or any other claim by anyone ever or nobody never. ]]]]]


Th search for jobbies has commensed. One interview have I for th morrow at a record store & several question marks abound in times to come. More searching plan I for th doing in times proper. Such goes wills & vessels.

A fellow of musick-making potentials for noise & chaos shall later on this day visit me. I look eagerly forward to such things with vigorous joys.

I continue divining fortunes for each day, but not always reflecting on them. Without reflecting, I sort of defeat th purpose of such happenings. Yesterday, I selected from Peter Carroll's 8 Color Magicks: Black Magick, Death Magick. So I thought pleasantly about dying, invoking Osiris, Egyptian god of th Underworld, whom all male Egyptians eventually sought to become upon death. As I went about, I thought about th idea that all of spacetime constitutes one four (or more) dimensional solid matrix, & that although at this particular point in spacetime, I "am alive," at many more I "am not yet born" or "am dead." I thought in particular of th latter & took as an empowering mantra, "I am a dead man."

I enjoyed this, but could have taken it much further.

Today, I I Ching-ed & got:

15. Modesty

Th text of this hexagram I have not with me; it invokes positive ideas about finding balance: subtracting from areas of excess & adding to areas of lacking. Although I sometimes find th humbleness & modesty of Chinese (particularly Taoist) philosophy a bit much (see also Jesus), I find this fortune fitting for th day.

I have begun work on a card catalogue of many god(esse)s from many mythological sources to eventually use in divination slash ritual.

An interesting question I've encountered recently: what to make of this, Gottfried Leibniz's "Principle of Sufficient Reason":

"For anything that exists, there must be some reason why it exists, and why it exists as it does."

Causality. Determinism. We can trace this back: Why did A happen? Because of B. Why did B happen? Because of C. Why did C happen? Because of D. & on & on. Leibniz says that if we trace th "Whys" back far enough, it leads eventually to either GOD or UTTER ABSURDITY. He claims that th human mind cannot accept utter absurdity (it's too horrible to bear!) so there must be a God.

I disagree. Th human mind can indeed accept utter absurdity! (In fact, it can accept most anything you try to cram into it.)

Page 81 in th Principia Discordia puts it like this:


The human race will begin solving it's problems on the day that it ceases taking itself so seriously.

To that end, POEE proposes the countergame of NONSENSE AS SALVATION. Salvation from an ugly and barbarous existence that is the result of taking order so seriously and so seriously fearing contrary orders and disorder, that GAMES are taken as more important than LIFE; rather than taking LIFE AS THE ART OF PLAYING GAMES.

To this end, we propose that man develop his innate love for disorder, and play with The Goddess Eris. And know that it is a joyful play, and that thereby CAN BE REVOKED THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.

If you can master nonsense as well as you have already learned to master sense, then each will expose the other for what it is: absurdity. From that moment of illumination, a man begins to be free regardless of his surroundings. He becomes free to play order games and change them at will. He becomes free to play disorder games just for the hell of it. He becomes free to play neither or both. And as the master of his own games, he plays without fear, and therefore without frustration, and therefore with good will in his soul and love in his being.

And when men become free then mankind will be free.
May you be free of The Curse of Greyface.
May the Goddess put twinkles in your eyes.
May you have the knowledge of a sage,
and the wisdom of a child. Hail Eris.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

parenthetical aside

My Finnegans Fortune for today, from Page 237:

(meaning Mullabury mesh, the time of appling flowers, a guarded figure of speech, a variety of perfume, a bridawl, seamist inso one)

Something for th OZ Lovers.

Friday, June 1, 2007

I Ching for Confusion 6

In case you wonder with utter wonderment, my I Ching fortune for today reads as 39. Obstruction changing to 45. Gathering Together [Massing].

Hexagram 39. Obstruction

Obstruction. Th southwest furthers.
Th northeast does not further.
It furthers one to see th great man.
Perseverence brings good fortune.

Water on th mountain:
Th image of obstruction.
Thus th superior man turns his attention to himself
And molds his character.

Nine in th third place means:
Going leads to obstructions;
Hence he comes back.

Six in th fourth place means:
Going leads to obstructions,
Coming leads to union.

Hexagram 45. Gathering Together [Massing]

Gathering together. Success.
Th king approaches his temple.
It furthers one to see th great man.
This brings success. Perseverence furthers.
To bring great offerings creates good fortune.
It furthers one to undertake something.

Over th earth, th lake:
Th image of gathering together.
Thus th superior man renews his weapons
In order to meet th unforeseen.

Six in th third place means:
Gathering together amid sighs.
Nothing that would further.
Going is without blame.
Slight humiliation.

Nine in th fourth place means:
Great good fortune. No blame.

I can think of no more appropriate hexagrams to receive on this day, th day of my Great Decision to stop subbing & find something that doesn't drain my spirit. Maybe professional dog-walking!!

ravings from a former cog

Important Decision Day, 'tis. Since December, I've found myself hopping all over Chicago subbing in [mostly crappy] elementary schools, grinding, grinding, grinding. Some days go well, some haunt me still, but ultimately, I feel like I do nothing. I come into a class, mess around with some 9-year-olds, survive th day, & then go home. I do no good.

With one exception: I spent a month in one class, filling in for a teacher who had broken his leg. I felt like I really helped these troubled kids during my time there, & I miss it a lot.

I don't get that feeling anywhere else.

So I've decided: I will do no more subbing unless a.) I get called to do music (really do it, not stand around & show videos!) or b.) I get called back to th school I spent so much time at already. I got all I wanted out of subbing in other situations - I learned much about classroom management & authority in general (some things I didn't want to know), & now I just spin my wheels, grind, grind, grind. I would rather slop coffee again.

I don't believe in traditional classrooms. They turn people into cogs to fit into th cold unenlightened machine called USA. They attempt to destroy real, real critical thinking, break th spirits of th rebels (this world needs rebels more than cogs, dammit!), make people stupid & complacent. If you can make it through public school, you can make it in a factory, grinding, grinding, grinding.

I need to work in music, not traditional classrooms, turning people on. Setting fires in th right hemisphere, cultivating creative chaos - inspiring human beings, not industrial robots. I can't do that as a sub, & it has worn me down. I've grown weary of schools & children & classrooms; I dread going back there. I feel myself burning out. I see it in so many teachers that have surrendered to th destructive forces of our consumer culture & ignorance. I don't want to live like that.

This will hurt my bank account (which already hurts - th meager pay I get for doing this only adds to th general degradation I feel). I will need to find coffee / temp work for th summer ASAP. I have willingness to do many things, but I need to get out of th schools.

So I plan to work on an updated resume later today. I want to start hunting for music teacher positions, also. By September, I expect to have Illinois certification.

(Why did I move to Chicago & not San Francisco?)

Ok, I have finished raving & ranting.

I feel good about this decision.


I miss my New York friends super-lots. I will surely come home during th summer, probably in July. In th meantime, I invite all friends with th time & moolah to visit. Our couch welcomes you! I want to take you all out for Mexican food & used books!

Much love,