bluebinis a go go

Hello Discordianites,

Hdyd?

I eat a sammich of tahini & blueberry [preserve].

I continue to find my project of learning to speak in E-Prime daunting & somewhat pointless. I have gradually gotten worse & worse at catching "to be"s before they come rolling out of my mouth. I don't know if I care.

On another spectrum, I have done a bit of work studying th I Ching. I've memorized th names, numbers, & line patterns of all 64 hexagrams (more or less), & I've started learning th text. I switched to a new translation recently: from th out-of-date but still kind of standard, best translation in th Public Domain, that of Wilhelm & Baynes to th less-muddied Huang & Huang, which attempts a more accurate translation that does away with rambling commentary that Taoists & Confuciansists have added over th centuries. Much more poetic, th latter.

It frustrates me that no modern translations exist in th Public Domain. Th I Ching should belong to every human being everywhere. Maybe I'll write my own paraphrase [in E-Prime] from a bunch of copyrighted sources & put that in th Public Domain. . . .

I've also begun putting it into practice: doing regular divinations for myself & evening reading fortunes for friends. At any rate, I find it amusing to make sense of essentially random patterns & apply them to actual circumstances. I want to continue this. If anyone out there would like a free I Ching reading by an absolute amateur (but one with ministry credentials from th Universal Life Church, don't forget), then do get in touch!

Skeptics among us who find this whole concept silly & beneath them, I hear where you come from, but I've got about a dozen thoughtful reasons why divination may appeal to freethinkers as well as New Age-niks. I'll save that essay for another day, tho.

Much love & bluebini sammiches,
Rev Andr of Nimland, KSC, FaKr of th Flum.

a tasty toast

Last summer, I served as best man to my luminous friend Eric at his wedding to my luminous friend Steph. Going thru my files (by that I mean random scraps of paper lying around haphazardly - All Hail Discordia & a Befuddling Mungday to you!), I found th notes I used for th best man toast that I made! I spoke more or less what I see written today on these messy pages. It delights me to see that I wrote it all in E-Prime! [Pats nerdy self on back.]

I did insert an improvised story to illustrate my first impression of Eric when I met him, which I cannot reproduce (& probably didn't comply with th constraints of E-Prime). However, I want to share th rest of th toast with you now, for your delight (I hope you sob!) & for posterity, because I cannot guarantee that I will not lose these pages within th next few months, days, or minutes. (I will indicate where th improvised story fits in with three separation marks.)

I propose a tasty toast to th bride & groom, th groom & bride! Stephanie & Eris, Fauss & Fauss, enter today into a new universe of awesomeness & divine whatnot. Hooray for all!

I met Mr. Fauss at college orientation - he exuded a fascinating weirdness - we had to become roomates. It took a semester to get it worked out, but we managed it twice, & it rocked.

¤ ¤ ¤

I met Mrs. Fauss, Miss Formerly Thompson, when Eric brought her with us on a roadtrip. I found her fun, interesting, & easy to talk to. In short, she also rocked.

Little did I know what started brewing in those days.

Stephanie & Eric each champion peace & compassion, intelligence & wisdom, humanism & transcendence of th normal. Brought together, these attributes can only find strength. In their time, they have grown, grow today, & will grow oodles more.

A beautiful bond has formed here - we all see it - like two spiral galaxies meeting in th void & warping into something new & awesome. It has happened already - this ceremony only confirms it. I for one feel a great joy to have witnessed it.

& thus I propose a tasty toast th th groom & bride, th bride & groom - th Erics, th Stephs, th Thompsons, th Fausses! We have seen two become one, a unison. My heart melts - I feel humbled & alive. So let us raise glass & grin. Together we toast! Hooray for all!

Eric & Steph, I love you guys! Since I have now received my Credentials of Ministry from th Universal Life Church (they hang on th wall above my head as I type to you), do keep me in mind when you decide to renew your vows!

Rev. Heathwaite. . !!

Cathartic Castaneda Day to you ALL. . !!

Guess who's been ordained a minister in th Universal Life Church!
I can now legally perform marriages, baptisms, funerals, & all sorts of other ceremonies I may dream up someday. Th U.S. government recognizes it. Pretty nifty, huh? Check out that website; it's legit, believe it or not. They actually ordain anybody in th world who asks. & I asked. Thank you Jesus. . !!

I've already started brainstorming for th religion I'm going to found now that I've received Reverendhood. Any thoughts? It will probably fall under "wacky", at any rate.

I hope you've enjoyed your December 25th (Discordian: Prickle-Prickle, Aftermath 67). I haven't done today much other than become an ordained minister. That counts as something, tho.

Now I have dishes to do.

I bless you, my children. . !!
Rev. Andr.