Thursday, April 3, 2008

th Xtian Xemist

[ =@@@@ Ajmak :: Nine Sinner ]

I met tonight a Christian Chemist, & we had great conversation sharing our similarly different realities w/ one another!

I played at Tea Essence open mic my '5 songs of fish.' After, she approached me & asked what my song "is about." I told her, "fish." She explained how she tried to make sense of it: "First it seemed like a metaphor comparing people to fish, but then it got political, & I didn't get th part about th scales," etc. I told her it didn't mean much past th words themselves, altho I did explain that th "Ho Chi Minh" in th song refers to a goldfish I used to live w/, & not any historical human. She seemed a little troubled by th idea that a song could not mean anything.

She noticed that I had assembled little "comic book" things (a new project of mine that I worked on at Tea Essence tonight) & inquired about them. I showed her. More nonsense: each panel comes from a pool of tiny meaningless drawings I had come up w/ & glued onto pieces of cardboard. Some panels contain ambiguous objects, others characters doing ambiguous things, & some have speech bubbles containing whatever happened to come into my head at th time (or perhaps some words borrowed from books that I opened up randomly). This really seemed to confuse her, but she seemed fascinated. Why intentionally create nonsense?

I told her I think people take themselves too seriously. We make meaning out of whatever gets thrown our way, we force things to fit together whether they want to or not, & we can stretch our minds a little bit & conceive of a very weird world. I intend to make lots of these little comics & eventually spend a day wandering Chicago & giving them out to strangers on th street. Sowing th seeds of Chaos. . . .

She asked what religion I follow, & I said none that has a name. I told her I think th world contains as many religions as people, because everyone creates their own. I like to look at many different traditions, poke around & find interesting things that seem illuminating. After all, humans have come up w/ thousands of religions. Th Christians have something to say, but so do th Buddhists, th Animists, th Hindus, th Ancient Egyptians, th pre-Colombian Mesoamericans, & so on & so forth. I find it hard to believe that one book out of so many has all th answers.

She told me about her relationship w/ God, that he guides her life to help her do right, to make good decisions. She had a wonderful way of expressing th philosophy of Jesus/love: We are all gifts, gifts to ourselves & gifts to each other. If Jesus said only that & stopped there, I'd like him quite a bit more! (& if so-called Christians w/ a different perspective than hers didn't so often take Jesus & twist him into something ugly & destructive.)

She also said that as a chemist (w/ a PhD no less!) who does very logical, rational, analytical work, she doesn't think she could allow Chaos of th sort that I do into her life. When her home gets cluttered, her work gets cluttered, her mind gets cluttered, & she can't do her job. She had a very clear concept of who she "is" & who she "isn't," what her essence "is". She said she can't be a square & a circle at th same time. Not having her job (or her life), I couldn't argue.

To me, figuring out how to function as th Square & th Circle at th very same time seems like a worthwhile endeavor. I've thought more & more recently about how to combine rational, analytical, honest skepticism w/ raw, chaotic, magickal Living. Th Art of Science, th Science of Art. 1 + 1 = 1. Left brain, right brain, in full communication. Answering Zen koans & laughing w/ abandon. Acknowledging th Full, Unadulterated Complexity & Divinity of Everything. "Getting it."

She doesn't think you can get into heaven if you haven't found Jesus. Jesus saves. She didn't try to convert me. She honestly wanted to hear my side of things. But ultimately, because th book says so, & because she "knows" deep down, she believes I (& billions of others) will go to hell. But God is love.

To me, that seems like such an absurd contradiction! Not just, th Love/Hell thing, but th Rational, Analyzing, Scientific work that she does paired w/ that kind of Blind Dogma. Why can't she apply th scientific method to her faith?

Obviously, I can easily talk. I don't see thru her eyes, nor she thru mine. I didn't convince her of my agnostic approach & she didn't convince me of her Christianity. Jesus remains to me one of many fascinating creatures in our world's mythistory. He had some great ideas & a few fishy ones, if you ask me. If she finds meaning in her faith in him, I wouldn't ever want to get in her way. But I don't much like getting condemned to hell, either.

I gave her one of my comics. She said she'll put it up in her cubicle at work.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

weiznduz

[=@@@ Tz'ikin :: Eight Birdsilver ]

I keep you notdated of th ways & dos of me. Apologies.

(Do I self-obsess to th point of fault?)

I continue dogwalking, homegrinding, reading (nowadays: SI Anthology, Being & Nothingness, th Fire From Within, th Omnivore's Dilemma...). Also: carrotchomping, beanfrying, cumbusing. I remain at 7 cumbus songs. More to come in time. Thinking about information, synthesis. Getting little hellos from Chaos, like when I almost lost my wallet yesterday. (As I looked all over for it, I realized that Universe has given me a timely lesson in Nothingness.) We started doing "candle hour" in my apartment to conserve electricity. I got a new dog on my route named Chellie.

& such. Things hop along & don't. I haven't figured out whether, where or when I'd like to "go back to school." Or what for. I'd like to study: xenharmonics, anthropology, world religions, philosophy, literature (James Joyce in particular), poetry, radical this-&-that. Hypothetically. Maybe in several different universes at th same time (that would make them "multiverses," wouldn't it?).

I'd also like to find my pineal gland & have a good long conversation w/ her.

So go my ways & dos, I guess. More or less. Or something.

ions: &ru

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Situations

[ = E :: Five Toothroad ]

I think those of you interested in th concept of Art in th Everyday should definitely check out th Situationists, whom I have come to adore. Th Situationists, a radical experimental group working in Paris in th late 50s (same time as th 'revelation' in th Principia Discordia, I just noticed) sought to change th structure of world culture (& thus politics) thru constructing Situations, deliberately engineered moments of life. I see it as a kind of metaprogramming.

They suggest an activity called th dérive: "a mode of experimental behavior linked to the conditions of urban society: a technique of rapid passage through varied ambiances . . . In a dérive one or more persons during a certain period drop their relations, their work and leisure activities, and all their other usual motives for movement and action, and let themselves be drawn by the attractions of the terrain and the encounters they find there." You can read an essay all about it here.

I would like to do this in Chicago. I can think of a handful of persons, here & in Urbana (ahem, Jacob, what say you?) who might enjoy a weekend of experimental wandering about.

Anyway, perhaps I will attempt to organize such a thing when Spring really starts to make urban drifting a little less unpleasant. Let me know if you'd find this of interest!

Yet another "offer" (I cannot help myself),
Andr.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Urbana & Singsonging & Synchronicity

[ @@@ Tz'i :: Three Dog ]

Good morning, Friend! I want to share w/ you my joy! I went last night to a concert in a coop house in Urbana IL, invited by microtonalist friend Jacob Barton. I had th inspiring pleasure to see & hear & meet many alive & vibrant people! Not in a long time have I found myself in such good company. I will confess, I felt intimidated!

But I played two songs on my cumbus: eight thunderpain; nine foredawn (th latter a debut). Afterward, I found myself in several great conversations about Art & Life (which have become so increasingly reflective of one another to me). I even had th great pleasure of getting called on a bit of musical BS that I let slide in my songs! I love it!

I want to get involved w/ that community. They have a school there called School for Designing a Society, & I feel like my work of late has become very much aligned w/ that motivation: to create fundamental change in th world by redefining society & its limits. How fortuitous! Magnets!

I want to continue these conversations! I don't want to lose th dialog that began last night! Please, if you read this & want to chat, get in touch:

Andrew Heathwaite (a.k.a. Nodal Nim)
gtrpkt atsign yahoo period com
315-657-6839 cell
myspace
facebook
Book of Days


Lastly, I want to tell you about my synchronicities (meaningful coincidences (meaningful because I say so - does any other kind of "meaningful" exist?)). I look for these in life, but I don't often find them.

I began my Book of Days project on 1 Toj / One Thunderpain on th K'iche'-Mayan calendar, a.k.a. February 15. Th Daysigns (th names, rather than th numbers - in this case Toj/Thunderpain) repeat every 20 days, an important cycle in Mayan thinking. 20 Days after One Thunderpain comes Eight Thunderpain. 20 Days after that comes Two Thunderpain. I had planned my set before noticing this.

1. I began my Book of Days on One Thunderpain.
2. I wrote th lyrics to th first song I planned to play on Eight Thunderpain, 20 days later.
3. Last night, I performed that song on Two Thunderpain, 20 days later.

So it happened that I had begun my project exactly two cycles before that performance, 40 days, & that th first song I played cut that period directly in half, taking its lyrics from th 20th day.

I had a higher level synchronicity in th car on th drive to Urbana. I suddenly noticed:

1. A sign said 17 miles to Urbana.
2. My clock said 7:17.
3. My CD player said track 17.
4. I happened to have an instrument in my car that I've altered to play w/ 17 notes in an octave.

I don't recall ever having experienced a level-4 synchronicity like that. While I take these kinds of things w/ a grain of salt (put enough random noise together & you will discover patterns just because of th impersonal laws of chance), I choose to find meaning in these events. It seems to me that Universe had something to tell me.


Much love, illumination & apricot,
Andr.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

how to Paganize St. Pat's



For those who want an unexpected excuse for substance abuse, some alternative to everybody else's St. Pat's, consider th Bacchanalia: an ancient Greco-Roman festival to th god of drunkenness, fertility, ecstasy & irrationality, Bacchus slash Dionysus! It starts today & goes for three days. So instead of wearing green tights & shamrocks, consider leopard skins; carry a thyrsus & goat-skin wineflask. (Bacchus doesn't mind you going unvegan for three days of th year.)

Wikipedia has this to say about th Bacchanalia:

Introduced into Rome (c. 200 BC) from the Greek culture of southern Italy or by way of Greek-influenced Etruria, the bacchanalia were held in secret and attended by women only, in the grove of Simila, near the Aventine Hill, on March 16 and 17. Subsequently, admission to the rites were extended to men and celebrations took place five times a month. The notoriety of these festivals, where many kinds of crimes and political conspiracies were supposed to be planned, led in 186 BC to a decree of the Senate — the so-called Senatus consultum de Bacchanalibus, inscribed on a bronze tablet discovered in Calabria (1640), now at Vienna — by which the Bacchanalia were prohibited throughout all Italy except in certain special cases which must be approved specifically by the Senate. In spite of the severe punishment inflicted on those found in violation of this decree, the Bacchanalia were not stamped out, at any rate in the south of Italy, for a very long time.

Friday, March 14, 2008

let me tell you

a.) I love you.

b.) Happy Pi Day! You have, according to my clock, about 14 minutes left to celebrate it, if you just found out about it now by reading this sentence.

c.) I also love Maurice Merleau-Ponty, phenomenological writer extraordinaire. His works systematically approach a world not dissimilar to that of Zen Buddhists:

Th most important lesson which th [phenomenological] reduction teaches us is th impossibility of a complete reduction... there is no thought that embraces all thought. Th philosopher... is a perpetual beginner, which means that he takes for granted nothing that men, learned or otherwise, believe they know.


I want to get to that place.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

th way of circling beams



I have at this moment four songs written for cumbus, th lyrics of which I have taken from recent Day Poems. I debuted three of them tonyt: two at Tea Essence & one at Heartland Cafe. Last week, I debuted my first cumbus song at Tea Essence.

I hope to soon find th time to record these songs & get them out there for you to hear. In th meantime, I can point you to th Day Poems that I lifted for lyrics:

Nine Knowhow
Thirteen Lefthanded
Eight Thunderpain
Eleven Toothroad

Monday, March 10, 2008

I am th absolute source

I like this sentence very much, from Maurice Merleau-Ponty's Phenomenology of Perception:

I am, not a 'living creature' nor even a 'man', nor again even 'a consciousness' endowed with all th characteristics which zoology, social anatomy or inductive psychology recognize in these various products of th natural or historical process -- I am th absolute source, my existence does not stem from my antecedents, from my physical & social environment; instead it moves out toward them & sustains them, for I alone bring into being for myself (& therefore into being in th only sense that th word can have for me) th tradition which I elect to carry on, or th horizon whose distance from me would be abolished -- since that distance is not one of its properties -- if I were not there to scan it with my gaze.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

cumbusy Days

Salutations, Beasties!



I wanted to share w/ you some things. Firstly, I have a new friend named cumbus, a Turkish fretless banjo-lute of soorts! I found this friend at Andy's Music not far from my apartment here in Chi-town, just this past Saturday. He rocks my socks! He has double courses, like a mandolin, but six of them, rather than four. He has a jangly reverb, kind of like a sitar, amplified by his sleek aluminum body. & best of all, because of his fretlessness, I can play him xenharmonically! I meticulously stuck strips of masking tape onto his fingerboard to indicate th pitches of 17-tone equal temperament, one of my very favorite microtonal/xenharmonic systems. I have played many a novel scale since that time, & written one song. Last night, inspired by fellow songwriter Elisabeth Blair, I traveled to Tea Essence, at 1913 N Milwaukee Ave, for open mic, & played my one song & two improvisations (th second to accompany a dancer named Rachel). It felt very, very good to do something new. I've waited a long time for this.


Photo by Jenny Blair!


I also want to share with you a project I call Book of Days. I keep track now of three different calendars: Gregorian, Discordian, & th K'iche' (Quiché) Mayan Sacred Calendar (Tzolk'in). I write a poem for each calendar day in a physical Book of Days that I've made from scrap paper & carry in my breast pocket as I go about my business. Each line of th poems comes from actual experiences (external or internal) that I have on that day, altho I like to encode th information with metaphors & juxtapositions of things that don't necessarily go together. I've decided to keep these poems on record here: Book of Days. Feel free to browse & read more about th project! I'll give one example here. I used this as lyrics to my one cumbus song that I've written so far:

2008-2-27 :: Chaos 58 :: stinkcury.





==@@@ Imox :: Thirteen Lefthanded.



slugsin but to move furthers
he collapses, cuts, we reconfigure
gradual canopy what caffeine moves
station changes tribunals, brunches
jousting figures in how-do-I-get-there
what eight finsmake el Sol to join
(continued will-I-get-its, gots to get, unfrets)
Semicongenial, backto familiar workings
relax to Set Rendezvous, Little 44
hotxplosion! we sitconsumed bean
jolly last two & Awkwardbean hello
Wisdomutt & Manytoes for a quietude
Sinagain (o do!), Leftagain in stacks
trade tit for tat, unspendagain do
northbound philosophers mumblalienate
heart heart heart heart heart heart
exceptionally built, talking meta
time to dynamite in heaven



Altho I'd never expect anyone to know these things, I can tell you a little bit about this day. Th first line refers to that groggy morning feeling, which I've called here slugsin (I think a lot of my first lines refer to this feeling). Th next refers to Jordan having had a nightmare (he collapses, cuts) & staying home for a personal day w/ his mom (we reconfigure). Gradual canopy might refer to th roof of my car as I go off to walk dogs; I don't know for sure. Th caffeine reference definitely means my coffee. I don't know about line 4, but line 5 refers to my trying to find a way to a dog's house w/ a truck blocking part of th street (jousting figures in how-do-I-get-there). El Sol in th next line refers to a card I found on th ground, probably from th game Memory, w/ a picture of th sun & a caption reading "el Sol". (I kept it in th slot on th driver's side door to my car for a while, but it eventually fell out & disappeared from my life again.) Th next line about unfrets refers to my nagging desire to get a cumbus. I don't know about line 8, but line 9 (relax to Set Rendezvous) refers to my inviting Tiffany & Jordan to come walk a dachshund named Rocco w/ me (Jordan really likes him). Little 44 refers to th I Ching's hexagram 44, sometimes translated as "Rendezvous". Hotxplosion refers to me spilling hot sauce on my pants at a Mexican restaurant, & we sitconsumed bean refers to Jordan, Tiffany & I having lunch there after walking Rocco. Th Awkwardbean hello in th next line refers to coffee beans & my visiting Chase at th Coffee Studio where he works (it usually feels a little awkward hanging out w/ Chase there, since I distract him somewhat from working). Wisdomutt & Manytoes for a quietude refers to a dog & cat that I visited that night for a special night walk. I don't know about th next two lines, but I think I read a bit of Finnegans Wake around then. I chatted w/ a fella on th train (traveling north to do open mic at th Heartland Cafe) about Western Philosophy (I recommended that he read Robert Anton Wilson as soon as possible) & wrote northbound philosophers mumblalienate. (Th "alienation" in th last word refers to th other people on th train having no idea what we talked about.) Th word "heart" kept coming up that day, & Chase & I considered that significant & synchronous (we met up again at th open mic), so I decided to write it six times for line 16. Th talking meta bit refers, I think, to a conversation about Buddhism & Ego between Chase & me in th car after th show. & th last line speaks for itself. Or doesn't.

Basically every poem has about that much cryptic reference to th mundane events of my life. Enjoy them or don't. I think they reflect th authentic chaos of everyday life. You won't find great transcendant themes or heroic deeds depicted in my Book of Days. Unless you look for those things, of course. You can find whatever you like, really, if you decide to look for it.

I sometimes like to think of it as a post-modern Epic Poem emerging stanza by stanza. I see nothing wrong with this interpretation, & I encourage you to think similarly about your own deeds, as mundane as they may seem. By living your life, you participate in an artistic happening, th unfolding of th greatest epic poem ever written: Your Subjective Reality. So don't let your days go by without appreciation.

Enough talk. Go on to my Book of Days.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

SONG POEMS WANTED!

I & three good friends went out to see a preview of Song Poems Wanted: th Musical! last night, & we had a blast! Another showing happens in March, & I think I may try to get loads of good people to come. Would you like to check it out with me?


I have a show coming up in April in which I will split a bill with song-poet guru Gary Forney & his son & bandmate Josh Forney! To celebrate th wonder of song-poems, I've decided to learn a few covers of fantastic song-poem masterpieces (do you have any favorites?) as well as write some of my very own! For that, I need you.


"Song-poems" refers to song lyrics written by regular people & submitted to companies like Red Rock Records who turn their words into original songs & record them for a fee. These companies have done this for years, & created many thousands of obscure song-poem recordings that delight collectors like myself who enjoy th natural weirdness of authentic people in their element.

Some say th song-poem business preys on naive people, unethically trading them false hopes for sums of money. Yes, perhaps, when they make claims that th poets' works will surely become hits. But, when a poet just wants to hear her/his poems turned into songs & receives pleasure in that, I say that song-poem companies do a real service for these people. After all, these people choose to send their lyrics, often over & over again. They obviously get their own rewards from it.

Anyway, I like song-poems a whole bunch, & for this special show in April, I intend to write some of my own.


So send me your lyrics! Email them to me, post them as "fnords" to this post, get them to me however you like, but do get them to me! I want very much to turn your zany poems into original songs!

I can tell you this:

  1. If you send me your words, you agree to let me turn them into an original song to perform & record!
  2. I won't charge you anything for this.
  3. I may use your poem, & I may not. Take no offense if I don't.
  4. If I turn your lyrics into a song, I will record it & make an mp3 file of it available for you (& whomever else wants it) online.
  5. I will always give you credit for writing th words.
  6. If I ever make any money off th song (unlikely), I will give you a cut.
  7. Th stranger th better.


So send me your poems! I will do them right good!

Monday, February 18, 2008

loliya lavu - link & word list

Note: Th version of loliya lavu that you see here I have decided not to continue past a very early stage. But, I have every intention of starting a new language based on it, hopefully soon! Check back at this blog in a few months, perhaps. Much love. updated: 2008-7-23

Hi. It delighted me to discover that at least one person has interest in loliya lavu. (Thanks for fnording, stevo!) I have much more work to do on it to make it functional, but I decided to put my lessons together on a separate page & start a word list. So you can check it out at:

http://rocketship.pbwiki.com/loliya+lavu

Feel free to comment on what you see here by fnording below this entry.

A thousand scraggly lovebugs,
Andr.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

3 b'atz



Hi! I continue my project involving th Mayan sacred calendar. I post this to see whether or not my little images for th numbers & daysigns come out looking decent. However, you can use it to see th actual Mayan date: 3 b'atz.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

2 tz'i

Seeing no fnords, I stopped posting loliya lavu lessons. If someone decides to care, I may continue them, or edit them for clarity, etc. Otherwise, I see no point.

In th meantime, I've started following th K'iche'-Mayan 260-day sacred calendar (tzolk'in), which involves 20 different "daysigns" (sort of like days of th week) running concurrently with th numbers 1 thru 13. Th 20 daysigns go as follows:

K'iche' - English translation (alternative English translations)

imox - Lefthanded (Dragon, Crocodile, Alligator, Waterlily, World
iq' - Wind (Breath)
aq'ab'al - Foredawn (Night, House, Darkness, Nighthouse)
k'at - Net (Seed, Corn, Lizard, Maize)
kan - Snake (Serpent)
kame - Death
kej - Deer (Hand)
q'anil - Yellowripe (Rabbit, Venus (star))
toj - Thunderpain (Water)
tz'i - Dog (Gateway)
batz - Monkey
e - Toothroad (Human, Grass, Stairway, Tooth, Road)
aj - Caneplant (Reed)
ix - Jaguarthroat (Jaguar)
tz'ikin - Birdsilver (Eagle, Knower)
ajmak - Sinner (Vulture, Wax, Owl, Soul)
n'oj - Knowhow (Incense, Quake, Earth, Movement)
tijax - Knifedge (Flint, Knife)
kawuq - Rainready (Storm, Rain)
junajpu - Marksman (Lord, Flower)

So, after 1 imox comes 2 iq', 3 ak'ab'al, 4 k'at on thru 13 aj. Then comes 1 ix, 2 tz'ikin, on thru 7 junajpu, 8 imox & so on. It takes 260 days to come back around to 1 imox (because 13 x 20 = 260).

Th K'iche consider today 2 tz'i, 2 Dog. A new 13-day period started yesterday, so I intend to watch closely how things progress from 1 to 13. I have a project cooking during this time that I may share after th period ends.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

potatoing glue

framing figuring figures in glue, what kind of mad glue? eggy mad, a forgotten unicorn, a forgotten platter, that did platter in suits, razorcorn & devilfine plaid suits, razorcorn & fairly nervous, uniformly nervous, flagrantly nervous, a flagrantly acid barometer, snug barometer, never lifted in organ snug, never fooled about pretty potatoing, & they came again, potatoing, snuggling, potatoing, having vast fears of snuggling, vast vestiges of cranberries, what soiled cranberries, what came to dine, & a fine corduroy to dine in, & a fine potatoing glue

Friday, February 8, 2008

loliya lavu lesson 03 - modifiers

Note: Th version of loliya lavu that you see here I have decided not to continue past a very early stage. But, I have every intention of starting a new language based on it, hopefully soon! Check back at this blog in a few months, perhaps. Much love. updated: 2008-7-23

You learned in th last lesson about mode words, verbs, & pseudo-nouns. In this lesson, I'd like to tell you about modifiers, which work rather like adverbs & adjectives.

modifiers


Let's take a simple sentence:

a xalevu - I cook.

To give a little more information about how I cook, I might add another word. When we stick a few words together, th words after th first one act to modify it. So, for example:

a xalevu lavu - I energetically/divinely cook.
a xalevu baxiNa - I continuously/continue to cook.

a biNo wahimimi - I catly climb. / I climb in th manner of a cat.
a loliya cocu - I sharingly speak. / I speak in a sharing way.
a wahimimi coma - I happily cat. / I happily do as a cat does.

Thus do we modify our verbs. Th modifiers act like pseudo-adverbs in th above examples.

Similarly, we can modify our pseudo-nouns, making our modifiers act like adjectives. Let's take a simple sentence:

a biNo ki lolu - I climb a tree.

To modify our pseudo-noun, lolu, tree, we simply add modifiers immediately after it:

a biNo ki lolu maceka - I climb a fruit tree.
a biNo ki lolu xova - I climb a green tree.

a va ki wahimimi mali - I see/perceive a female cat.
a kawa ki beco vaxi - I go to an eating-house (restaurant).
aca we ki loca beku - I like this human-being.

You can use this to specify number:

maceka mu - one fruit
beco hi - some buildings

& you can use this to specify ownership/association:

wahimimi bu - your cat
beco ba - my house

This last method can cause confusion:

lolu wahimimi - cat tree or cat's tree?

I haven't decided whether or not I like this ambiguity. I certainly want ambiguity in loliya lavu, but maybe I will change th way ownership/association works. Thoughts?

Note: In English, we put our modifiers before th word they modify: "energetically cook", "happy cat", etc. In loliya lavu, we do th opposite; we put our modifiers after th word they modify. Don't let that throw you.

spelling numbers & letters


I came up with a dual system for numbers & letters. Basically, you have unique names for th numbers 0-15 which correspond perfectly with th sixteen letters in th alphabet. So we have:

yo - number 0 - letter y
mu - number 1 - letter m
xaki - number 2 - letter x
belima - number 3 - letter b
voNa - number 4 - letter v
ho - number 5 - letter h
kemiku - number 6 - letter k
li - number 7 - letter l
Naca - number 8 - letter N
cuxuve - number 9 - letter c
wi - number 10 - letter w
ama - number 11 - letter a
olo - number 12 - letter o
uNu - number 13 - letter u
ibi - number 14 - letter i
exe - number 15 - letter e

To spell numbers past 15, you speak each digit:

li Naca belima - 783
cuxuve mu yo ho kemiku xaki 910,562

You can also speak each digit to spell th numbers 10-15. They all have alternate names (mu yo or wi for 10; mu mu or ama for 11, etc); either name fits.

To spell words, you speak each letter:

li olo li ibi yo ama - loliya
kemiku exe mu ibi kemiku uNu - kemiku

I decided that some loliya lavu words other than mode words can begin with vowels. Proper Names will probably do that rather often. That area has yet to get developed.

clipping


One last thing before I go take a nap. It seems to me quite reasonable to allow speakers of loliya lavu to knowingly clip longer words to speak them quickly. For example, we can take th word maceka & clip in a few different ways:

macek'
mace'
mac'
ma'

Th apostrophe represents a glottal stop, a quick closing of th throat (think of John Lennon saying th "tt" in "bottle". Th cut words will thus sound cut. In theory, a listener shouldn't have any trouble distinguishing ma from a clipped ma'.

Clipping creates ambiguity. Does macek' stand for maceka or something else, like maceki or maceku? Ma' could stand in for many, many words. I like this kind of ambiguity. A loliya lavu poet can use it for puns & riddles. Hooray!

But exercise caution when clipping, because it assumes that th listener can read your mind & guess what letters you cut out. In context, it should usually make sense, but watch out.

Let's clip th phrase loliya lavu. First, loliya

loliy' (I don't think this one sounds different from loli', so I'd avoid it.)
loli'
lol'
lo'

Now, lavu

lav'
la'

& let's combine them:

loli' lav'
lol' lav'
lo' lav'
loli' la'
lol' la'
lo' la'

Th phrase on th top would confuse th least. After that, it gets more ambiguous. Just using th very few words I've already got, I can see that lo' la' can mean:

loliya lavu - energy language
loca lavu - energy person
lolu lavu - energy tree

When & if a more workable vocabulary of some thousand words gets created, lo' la' would become nearly indecipherable.

I like that.

By th way, clippings help greatly with counting. To count quickly, you could clip all th words of two or more syllables:

mu xak' bel' voN' ho kem' li Nac' cux' wi. . . .

Thursday, February 7, 2008

GHOTI

Oy vey, I have to bother you with one more thing, but not loliya lavu-related. Tiffany just showed me something that her boss Lee showed her today at work. Apparently, it had come up that I rebel against th ridiculousness of English spelling. She mentioned how I like to spell things more logically. (Altho I do this less than I used to: I stopped using cut spelling except with a few words like th, tho, thru, etc.) Anyway, Lee showed her a delightful little puzzle that George Bernard Shaw had come up with to demonstrate th silliness of English letter-to-sound correspondence:

Pronounce this word:

GHOTI



Just do it. Do you think you have it? Now, let me give you th three hints that Lee gave Tiffany & Tiffany in turn gave to me:

  1. Pronounce GH as in "enough".
  2. Pronounce O as in "women".
  3. Pronounce TI as in "nation".


Now how do you pronounce GHOTI?

loliya lavu lesson 02 - basic sentence structure

Note: Th version of loliya lavu that you see here I have decided not to continue past a very early stage. But, I have every intention of starting a new language based on it, hopefully soon! Check back at this blog in a few months, perhaps. Much love. updated: 2008-7-23

Ok, now that I've refried some pinto beans & cleaned up a bit, I'll add some meat to th bone I just threw you called loliya lavu.

basic sentence structure


Basic sentences unfold in th following order:

MODE WORD; VERB; ki RECEIVING ENTITY; bo GIVING ENTITY; ce 3RD ENTITY

"Receiving Entity" sort of means "Object," but not exactly. "Giving Entity" sort of means "Subject," but not exactly. I'll explain th "3rd Entity" when we get to it. When you come across ki, bo, & ce those words tell you that th word that follows functions as either a receiving entity, a giving entity, or a 3rd entity, respectively.

using mode words


What do I mean by mode word? Basically, a mode word tells how th speaker knows what he or she claims to know. I have devised ten mode words for ten modes of knowing information. Every sentence must contain a mode word; thus, every sentence must contain information about th speaker's mode of knowing.

Each mode word begins with a vowel; no other words do so. Therefore, you can easily recognize beginnings of sentences, because they will always start with a vowel. One tiny mode word, one or three letters long, can give much information.

Th complete (as of 2008-2-7, 9:41 PM Central) list of mode words, with one sample sentence for each, follows. Don't worry about correctly pronouncing th sentences yet. I have to explain parts of speech more before you can do it correctly. As you go, note how much information each tiny mode word gives:



  1. a - knowing by means of th "5 senses"; knowing from seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, or smelling. a xalevu bo loca ce maceka - I know this by means of my 5 senses: Someone (or "a human being") cooks fruit.
  2. aca - knowing by means of a "6th sense"; knowing from intuition; knowing from direct emotional experience. aca we ki maceka - I feel this way: I like fruit.
  3. o - knowing by assuming; knowing by guessing; knowing by estimating. o we ki mali bo voli - I assume/guess he (or "th man") likes her (or "th woman").
  4. oco - knowing by logical reasoning; knowing by deduction; knowing by applying th scientific method. oco biNo ki lolu beku bo voli - I have reasoned thus: He (or "th man") climbs/climbed this tree.
  5. u - knowing by hearsay, but from a questionable source (by th judgement of th speaker). u moxiba ki loca bo bu ce wahimimi - I have heard you give people cats (but I don't necessarily trust my source).
  6. ucu - knowing by hearsay, but from a relatively reliable source (by th judgement of th speaker). ucu moxiba ki loca bo bu ce wahimimi - I have heard from a reliable source that you give people cats.
  7. i - actively imagining, but not claiming th event actually happens. i cocu ki ba bo bu ce xoxolo bu - I imagine this: You share your bodymind with me.
  8. ici - dreaming, daydreaming, having a vision, but not claiming th event actually happens. ici cocu ki ba bo bu ce xoxolo bu - I dream this: You share your bodymind with me.
  9. e - indicates a question. This & ece work differently from th other mode words. We'll get into them later.
  10. ece - indicates a command. More on this in a future lesson.


sentencing


After th mode word comes a verb. All sentences (except occasionally answers to questions) will contain at least one verb following th mode word. Th simplest possible sentence consists of one mode word & one verb:

a cocu - I know this by means of my five senses: I share.

Cocu means to share. But where did th "I" come from in that sentence? Well, now I'll tell you a rule about meaning in loliya lavu that I really like. Whenever you don't specify who or what does something (th "giving entity"), it automatically means th speaker, so, in English, "I". This sentence means th same as th one above:

a cocu bo ba - I know this by means of my five senses: I share.

Bo indicates that th word that follows it functions as th "giving entity," that which "does something". Ba means I or me.

But let's flesh this out. Who do I share with? Let's say a cat. Wahimimi means cat (or, more accurately, to act as a cat). To make wahimimi th "receiving entity" we put it after ki, & we put ki after th verb. Ki indicates that th word that follows it functions as th "receiving entity".

a cocu ki wahimimi bo ba - I share with a cat.

Remember, we could have left out bo ba & this sentence would have meant th same thing.

Ok, let's add one more entity, th "3rd entity". Th "3rd entity" helps out when we need to talk about one more entity. In th case of cocu (to share), th third entity tells us what gets shared. Let's say that th cat & I share a tree. Lolu means tree (or to act as a tree). So we have:

a cocu ki wahimimi bo ba ce lolu - I share a tree with a cat, or, more literally, I know this by means of my five senses: That which acts as "I" share that which acts as a tree with that which acts as a cat.

Note that not every verb uses all three places: giving entity, receiving entity, 3rd entity.

emphasis within sentences


We've already mentioned in lesson 01 that you accent th first syllable in every word in loliya lavu. I'll mention one more thing. Within a sentence, you should never accent one-syllable structure words. We know a few of those already: a, o, u, i, e, ki, bo, ce. All other words receive accent on their first syllable. This includes: verbs like cocu & wahimimi; pronouns like ba (I, me, mine) & bu (you, your); two-syllable mode words: aca, oco, ucu, ici, ece. Some examples:

ici cocu ki ba bo bu ce xoxolo bu - Ici COcu ki BA bo BU ce XOxolo BU

u moxiba ki loca bo bu ce wahimimi - u MOxiba ki LOca bo BU ce WAhimimi

what sentences assume & don't


Ok, one last thing. What do sentences assume & not assume?

Sentences assume:
  1. one actual event - by default, a sentence refers to one actual event, not a habitual event, not a hypothetical event, but one actual event. We have to add other words for those kinds of meanings.
  2. physical entities - by default, th nouns in a sentence refer to physical entities, & specific ones, not generic ones. Cats climb trees refers to real cats climbing real trees, not just a figurative cat. To refer to th set of "normal" cats or th set of "normal" trees, for example, we'd need more words.
  3. nowish tense: by default, th events occur in th relatively near past. Perhaps you mean this morning. Perhaps you mean five minutes ago. Perhaps you mean half a second ago. We don't talk about th "present" because by th time we make a statement about th present, it has become th relatively near past. We can become more specific than this with more words.


Sentences do not assume:
  1. continuation - sentences don't tell you whether th event continues now or has come to completion. It could still go on, or it could have already finished.
  2. number - wahimimi may mean one or a thousand cats. However, in context, th listener will usually know about how many you mean, & you can always specify "one" (wahimimi mu) or "some" (wahimimi hi). ((Note: you cannot say "always", "every", or "all". Those words don't exist in loliya lavu because one can never know what happens "always" or to "every" or to "all". One can only know about "some".))
  3. sex - to refer to a person without giving th person's gender, just say loca, human being. That can function th same as "he/she." If you want to specify, you have a word for female (mali) & a word for male (voli). You also have words for androgynous (cili) & sexless/asexual (huli). However, most of th time, you needn't refer to sex at all.
  4. animacy - you needn't make a distinction between so-called living & non-living things. In English, we often divide our universe into people & things. We objectify our environment, th animals we live with, th tools we work with, & even th people outside of our circle of empathy. In loliya lavu, I want to get away from that kind of thinking. Instead of thinking of people versus animals versus things, think instead of entities. Everything & everyone that manifests in our universe deserves some appreciation for what it/she/he does. So, I propose th word ko, which as a verb means to manifest in th speaker's subjective reality & as a pseudo-noun means entity. Everything & everyone that has some sort of physical reality (rather than completely abstract, like an unspoken thought) we can call ko. Ko acknowledges th personhood that all things deserve.





How do you like that for a rambling introduction to something I've only just begun to make sense of myself? Please please please, ask questions, offer suggestions, tell me what you think! Good, bad, responses, concerns, give it to me! I want to know how you respond to this.

Much love,
Andrew

loliya lavu lesson 01 - sounding, wording, verbing

Note: Th version of loliya lavu that you see here I have decided not to continue past a very early stage. But, I have every intention of starting a new language based on it, hopefully soon! Check back at this blog in a few months, perhaps. Much love. updated: 2008-7-23

I've started constructing a wee mighty language! Mostly for th fun & challenge, really, but also, potentially, for songwriting. I've made an effort to make this language reflect my current agnostic & increasingly-animistic philosophical leanings. At this point, I have only just begun, & every single element could change, if I need it to.

So I will start telling you about it here, on my blog, & I graciously & humbly welcome you to send me "fnords" (comments) thru this page with suggestions, comments, ideas - whatever comes to you as you explore!

As this language changes, these lessons will change to reflect it. I intend to keep updated links to each lesson on th left of my blog (under "featured entries"), so you can easily navigate thru them at any time, regardless of when I originally posted them.

& so let's begin at th beginning.

loliya lavu



I call this language loliya lavu (LOH-lee-ah LAH-voo), which means language of energy. Loliya means language (or, since most words function by default as verbs, languaging, as in using a language); lavu means energy. Lavu bridges th semantic gap between words like "electricity", "chi", "life force", "electromagnetic", "divine", "Tao", etc. It allows for science & mysticism together.

Sounding



I considered putting sounds in loliya lavu not found in English, but decided instead to keep th phonology relatively familiar to English-speakers. It has some important pronunciation quirks to note, but once you learn them, you needn't worry about exceptions. Every letter stands for one sound & one sound only, every time you see it.

Loliya lavu uses th following alphabet (not yet in any intentional order):

consonants: b c h k l m N v w x y
vowels: a e i o u

Some of th consonants you pronounce like in English:

h as in hug
l as in lanky
m as in moo
w as in wishy-washy (but never like caw)
y as in yam (but never like joy)

Some of th consonants you pronounce like in English, except that you can pronounce them voiced or unvoiced:

b as in bit OR pit
k as in tack OR tag
v as in van OR fan

Finally, a few of th consonants represent a sound in English usually represented with two letters, but in loliya lavu, you only use one:

c sounds like sh as in shuck
N sounds like ng as in gong
x sounds like ts as in oats or tsetse

Vowels sound much like they do in Spanish, Esperanto, & toki pona. I decided to make them really simple.

a as in father
e as in get
i as in machine
o as in more
u as in food

Wording



Words in loliya lavu consist of any number of syllables within reason; each syllable consists of one consonant & one vowel. Stress always falls on th first syllable of th word.

Examples:
loliya
lavu
wahimimi
ko
xoxolo
biNo

Verbing



With th exception of basic structure words, all words in loliya lavu work primarily as verbs. We can also use them as nouns, adjectives, adverbs, etc, but when we do so, we must remember how they work as verbs. We do something like this in English when we call someone who cooks "a cook" (one that cooks) or someone who gives "a giver" (one that gives). Loliya lavu does it that way every time.

For example, th word xova means, more or less, "to green," or "to register as green to an observer." So, instead of saying, It is green, we say something akin to, It greens.

Another example: loca (don't forget, c sounds like sh) means, more or less, "to act as a human being," or "to demonstrate human being-ness". So instead of saying, She is a human being, we say She human beings.

We can use those words like non-verbs; however, th meaning of loca as a pseudo-noun doesn't mean, "human being," but rather, "entity which human beings".

So, to show you how this might work, here we have a full sentence: a biNo ki lolu bo wahimimi which we could translate literally as, That which cats (acts as a cat) climbs that which trees (acts as a tree). But, in standard English, we'd more likely say, A cat climbs a tree.

What difference does that make? First, by thinking in terms of verbs, we infuse all our words with activity, energy, life. Second, it tells more honestly what we really see. Do we actually see a cat climb a tree? Or do we see an entity which acts as a cat climb an entity that acts as a tree? After all, maybe we say a squirrel. Maybe somebody painted a very realistic-looking tree on th side of a house. But, if we see a squirrel "acting as a cat" & th side of a house "acting as a tree," we have still accurately described this event: a biNo ki lolu bo wahimimi: That which cats climbs that which trees.

Monday, February 4, 2008

C8H10N4O2

I've decided to take a break from caffeine, at least for a few days. I consider its effects ultimately damaging to my something.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

wonderberry gz funparade beluga

Hi!

I want to mention at this time of thinking that indeed, much fun did go, did go in th playing of songs at R.P.I.'s subterranean wonderplace called Ground Zero! It joyed me much to discover friendly persons old&new, wonderjolly bands to hear, & funtimes of completion of performance for mandolinight. We had happies of poundage plenty. I did things & things happened & also thingings thinged, as well, also. All things triumph.

I no longer intend to record setlists on this blog, as I've done in prior times. I played songs & other songs also, & debuted badger dog, a story of relationing between man & greyhound of Deadly Threats of Way.

Those things took place.

I hope that those who bore witness did enjoy as I did in their kaleidoscope multiverses of th eveningtimes that happened. So dancing ways in head.

Tell me your likes & dislikes if you wish it do, thru fnording beneath this posting of telling of doing of mandolining of jubilantagnosticwondermagick.

Truth

I love websites like this. From truthism.com:

When it comes to this kind of information (i.e., fringe subjects), you atheists, scientists, and skeptics all of a sudden start claiming that you need "irrefutable proof" in order to believe it. OK, fine. Then I'll turn the tables on you: Go and prove that the leaders of this world are in fact human. Oh, that's right, YOU CAN'T! Hell, you wouldn't even be able to prove who the actual leaders are in the first place.

So, in the same breath that you say, "Oh my gosh, I went to this one stupid website and the guy said that aliens rule the world," you should also say, "Oh my gosh, I believe that humans rule the world, even though I have absolutely no proof for my belief." As you can see, one cannot just posit that humans rule the world. Where's the proof??? Think about it for a second: Right now, assume that aliens do in fact rule the world; then, combine this with the fact that people automatically assume that humans rule the world. Now, what do you have: The perfect recipe for deception! But, this concept of aliens secretly ruling the world is not just a theoretical possibility, it also happens to be the actual truth! And, this is no coincidence--the Reptilians intentionally designed society to be this very way. That is, society was designed so that no one would ever question the so-called "basic truths."


In other not-yet news, I'd like to form an Agnostic Temple & Monastery, a Cult of Not Knowing. Who wants in?

Sunday, January 27, 2008

frankenlovely

Troyvisit commenced; I joined with Mr. Scott Marshall of fantasticking, with whom all coffees tingle to th power of triumph. We did doings of chattings, of eatings, of musickings, of divining to reveal present mysteries. In goings did arrive th mother & brotherGreg of wonderberry, also for th divining binary changes transformingly yes. We did illumining aluminium alarmclocks of color tu. Very in sock.

All wests.

luminous

REFLECTION MEANS METAPROGRAMMING

METAPROGRAMMING MEANS REFLECTION


ONE
MUST
SUFFICIENTLY
REFLECT
IN
ORDER
TO
DIVINELY
DISORDER
ONE'S
SELF

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

th spectacular clay pots of 30.3

An excerpt from th I Ching (as translated by Bradford Hatcher):

gua 30, arising: 3rd line

Th sun declines with its radiance
Not drumming on clay pots & singing
Leads to much of old age's lament
Unfortunate

for those many I've failed to warn...

...get th heck out of Dodge!

Yes, friends, I return for a short visit to th land of Troy, NY next week. I fly out on SaturJanu26 [Chaos 26] & return on SundaFebr03 [Chaos 34]. You can see me violently abuse an innocent mandolin in public [i.e. you can come to my Nodal Nim show] on SaturFebr02 [Chaos 33] at Ground Zero at R.P.I.

Yes.

Monday, January 21, 2008

languaging

I spend much time now driving from house to house to walk dogs. Accordingly, I listen to lots of radio & CDs. During my walks, I often fantasize about artistic projects: websites to build, instruments to acquire, music to compose, languages to learn, & languages to create. My thoughts don't always lead me to anything concrete, but I like to have them.

Recently, I've thought about getting some CDs & learning a language as I drive around. I've had a number of thoughts about which language to learn, based on various conflicting ideas about what I'd like to do with a language if I learn one.

AN INTERNATIONAL AUXILIARY LANGUAGE:

This means a language that someone has created for communication between different cultures, a logical, easy-to-learn, culturally neutral secondary tongue. I love th principle behind this. Esperanto represents th most well-known & -spoken IAL in th world. I started to learn this a few years ago, but I found a few things about it that frustrated me. In particular, it contains at least two biases: it borrows exclusively from European languages (no Asian, Middle-Eastern, Native American, etc. languages represented); & it retains some sexism from its source languages: many nouns for professions refer to males by default & females only if you add a special suffix. It also contains no sex-neutral 3rd person personal pronoun (a word that means "he or she"), requiring its speakers to constantly identify people by their sex, even when such identification hinders rather than helps communication. English has this shortcoming as well. In a language constructed from th ground up to help bring us together, I don't consider these biases acceptable.

After Esperanto had developed advocates & had existed for a while, a group of linguists revised it to fix th sex bias & a few other illogicalities. This newer language, known as Ido seems quite superior to me, but has far fewer adherents. Esperantists significantly outnumber Idists. Ido still maintains th Euro-centric bias, which bothers me almost as much as th sex bias, so I still don't consider it th ideal international language.

I wouldn't find many speakers of either of these languages, altho Esperanto in particular has its own little world I could become involved with. Given th peaceful goals of Esperanto (& Ido), I imagine I'd find these folks easy to get along with.

A few years ago, I studied Lojban & got relatively deep into it. Lojban attempts to eliminate ambiguity from human communication. Its designers based it not on natural language, but upon structures of logic. In some ways, it has more in common with a computer programming language than a human tongue. At first, I found this very exciting. I like how differently it works. It contains some structures that I still really appreciate. However, I eventually decided th philosophy didn't fit at all with th universe I live in. It contains way too much built-in assumed meaning. It takes itself literally, always, always. We live in a relativistic, ambiguous, symbolic universe, not th perfect fantasy of Plato. I don't think Lojban can handle th sublime, th absurd, th beautiful. Altho I wrote three silly songs in Lojban (which probably goes against th whole spirit of th thing), Lojban poetry seems to me an oxymoron.

Plus, I didn't get a very positive impression of th speakers of Lojban that I found online. I joined their email list, & kept up with it for a while, but then a couple Lojbanists started ranting & raving about exactly what two of th articles, "le" & "lo" really, really, really mean. Talk about a bunch of Grayfaces. These guys needed to experience a good Turkey Curse.

So I stopped learning Lojban, & my wonderful flashcards sit unused in a box. No other constructed language seems worth taking up at this point.

SPANISH:

Every person raised in th United States should have learned Spanish thoroughly from a very young age. We owe it to our brother & sister Americans who've immigrated from Spanish-speaking countries & deserve our recognition & understanding. In their shoes, I'd consider it an insult that your average white American knows about twelve Spanish words, & most of them represent Mexican foods.

So, to remedy this, I ought to consider learning Spanish. In Chicago, I would never have to go far to find someone to practice with.

But Spanish has lots in common with English, lots & lots. They both come from Europe & box your thinking into European thinking, to some extent. I want to learn a language that will really blow my mind, & I don't think Spanish will do that.

But for reasons of camaraderie & respect, Spanish makes sense for me to learn. Better late than never, si?

NON-WESTERN LANGUAGES:

To really learn to think differently, I have to learn to assemble meaning differently, & learning a non-Western language could really force me into that. Thus, I consider learning Chinese, Arabic, & a Native-American language like Anishinaabemowin, th language of th Ojibwe. I've had a look at th grammar of th latter, & it seems so incredibly different that I find myself really tempted by this one. It has no adjectives, it builds its words up from lots & lots of little particles, it allows free word order, & instead of distinguishing between male & female, it distinguishes between animate & inanimate (& has some interesting ideas about what constitutes each). Also, it has a so-called "4th person," really a 3rd person considered less important than another one. How perfectly, wonderfully, odd.

So I will continue to obsess about this, at least for a few more days (before I forget about it entirely & move onto another obsession).

Nim@Silvie's

I played a show last Saturday. It went ok & lasted about 45 minutes. I debuted two new songs: my beagle & Isbe. Thanks to Luke, Chase & Tiffany for coming & showing support! I stuck around for th Pawns, who rocked. I couldn't stay for th next band, but maybe I'll catch them another day. Fun abounded.

Monday, January 14, 2008

bluebinis a go go

Hello Discordianites,

Hdyd?

I eat a sammich of tahini & blueberry [preserve].

I continue to find my project of learning to speak in E-Prime daunting & somewhat pointless. I have gradually gotten worse & worse at catching "to be"s before they come rolling out of my mouth. I don't know if I care.


On another spectrum, I have done a bit of work studying th I Ching. I've memorized th names, numbers, & line patterns of all 64 hexagrams (more or less), & I've started learning th text. I switched to a new translation recently: from th out-of-date but still kind of standard, best translation in th Public Domain, that of Wilhelm & Baynes to th less-muddied Huang & Huang, which attempts a more accurate translation that does away with rambling commentary that Taoists & Confuciansists have added over th centuries. Much more poetic, th latter.

It frustrates me that no modern translations exist in th Public Domain. Th I Ching should belong to every human being everywhere. Maybe I'll write my own paraphrase [in E-Prime] from a bunch of copyrighted sources & put that in th Public Domain. . . .

I've also begun putting it into practice: doing regular divinations for myself & evening reading fortunes for friends. At any rate, I find it amusing to make sense of essentially random patterns & apply them to actual circumstances. I want to continue this. If anyone out there would like a free I Ching reading by an absolute amateur (but one with ministry credentials from th Universal Life Church, don't forget), then do get in touch!

Skeptics among us who find this whole concept silly & beneath them, I hear where you come from, but I've got about a dozen thoughtful reasons why divination may appeal to freethinkers as well as New Age-niks. I'll save that essay for another day, tho.

Much love & bluebini sammiches,
Rev Andr of Nimland, KSC, FaKr of th Flum.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

a tasty toast

Last summer, I served as best man to my luminous friend Eric at his wedding to my luminous friend Steph. Going thru my files (by that I mean random scraps of paper lying around haphazardly - All Hail Discordia & a Befuddling Mungday to you!), I found th notes I used for th best man toast that I made! I spoke more or less what I see written today on these messy pages. It delights me to see that I wrote it all in E-Prime! [Pats nerdy self on back.]

I did insert an improvised story to illustrate my first impression of Eric when I met him, which I cannot reproduce (& probably didn't comply with th constraints of E-Prime). However, I want to share th rest of th toast with you now, for your delight (I hope you sob!) & for posterity, because I cannot guarantee that I will not lose these pages within th next few months, days, or minutes. (I will indicate where th improvised story fits in with three separation marks.)


I propose a tasty toast to th bride & groom, th groom & bride! Stephanie & Eris, Fauss & Fauss, enter today into a new universe of awesomeness & divine whatnot. Hooray for all!

I met Mr. Fauss at college orientation - he exuded a fascinating weirdness - we had to become roomates. It took a semester to get it worked out, but we managed it twice, & it rocked.

¤ ¤ ¤

I met Mrs. Fauss, Miss Formerly Thompson, when Eric brought her with us on a roadtrip. I found her fun, interesting, & easy to talk to. In short, she also rocked.

Little did I know what started brewing in those days.

Stephanie & Eric each champion peace & compassion, intelligence & wisdom, humanism & transcendence of th normal. Brought together, these attributes can only find strength. In their time, they have grown, grow today, & will grow oodles more.

A beautiful bond has formed here - we all see it - like two spiral galaxies meeting in th void & warping into something new & awesome. It has happened already - this ceremony only confirms it. I for one feel a great joy to have witnessed it.

& thus I propose a tasty toast th th groom & bride, th bride & groom - th Erics, th Stephs, th Thompsons, th Fausses! We have seen two become one, a unison. My heart melts - I feel humbled & alive. So let us raise glass & grin. Together we toast! Hooray for all!



Eric & Steph, I love you guys! Since I have now received my Credentials of Ministry from th Universal Life Church (they hang on th wall above my head as I type to you), do keep me in mind when you decide to renew your vows!

Munghello.

Enjoy Discordant Wee-Hours-Of-Mungday, Fine Little Ones.

E-Prime speaking becomes easier by th hour (except for hours during which I drink wine). When I slow down, I can get it, sort of (but I sound "funny"); I still find it difficult in more distracting situations, such as conversations with "new people." This very evening, I found myself saying, "I'm Andrew," instead of "I go by Andrew," but I did remember to say "I enjoyed meeting you," instead of "It was nice to meet you." Baby steps, I take, I take.

~Andrew Fenderson

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Some E-Answers.

Obsessing as I do with my current obsession (what else would one obsess over but obsessions?), I have found some answers to my concerns about "small talk" & idiomatic expressions in E-Prime. From a great & thorough E-Prime introduction:

. . . .I (E.K.) sometimes resort to "pidgin E Prime" in order to avoid statements which. . . may sound slightly awkward. For example, if someone asks me "Who are you?", instead of replying "My friends call me Ed", I might simply say "Ed". . . . Instead of asking "How do you label yourself?" you might simply substitute a general request for more personal information as in the imperative, "Tell me about yourself". Specific situations allow other E-Prime variations such as: "Your name, please?", (great for hotel desk clerks or telephone operators), "Would you please introduce yourself? I don't believe we've met before". (good for formal social occasions), "What name do you go by these days?" (great with disciples of Swamis who have changed their name, or bank robbers with a number of aliases), or even (for singles situations) "If I want to find your number in the telephone directory, what name should I look under?"

. . . Instead of asking "How are you?", I might ask "How do you feel?", or "How has life treated you lately?" or even a West Coast alternative such as "How goes it?". On the telephone, instead of asking "Is Julie there?" I'd probably ask "May I speak with Julie?". Rather than asking "Where is X?" I might ask "Where can I find X?" or more elegantly, "Would you please direct me to X?" In my experience, even colloquial expressions have socially acceptable E-Prime equivalents, although it might take a fair amount of time and effort on your part to find one in any given situation.

On the other hand in the early days of trying to speak in E-Prime, I (D.B.), rationalized my use of polite formula "to be" dependent phrases in order to avoid the risk of sounding like a nut. Now I've decided to stick to E-Prime all the time, even if I do occasionally sound a trifle odd. Like my co-author, I also have found "pidgin E-Prime" useful during the transition period. Of course, we recognize that pidgin E-Prime can sound less than elegant, and condone its use only when necessary during the earliest phase. . . .

Isbe Dies a Very Slow Death. . . .

Hi!

So I began working on New Year's Resolution #2 today - "learn to think in E-Prime." For those who haven't heard of it (or had to listen to me blabber on about it yet), let me quickly introduce it.

E-Prime means th practice of removing all forms of to be from English speech: specifically, be, is, am, are, was, were, been & being, including their contractions, such as it's & I'm. Proponents of E-Prime claim that th practice of writing & speaking with to be introduces potentially unhealthy statements about objective reality & truth that lead to a false conception of th world. In contrast, they suggest that "use of E-Prime leads to a less dogmatic style of language that reduces the possibility for misunderstanding and for conflict."

You can read Robert Anton Wilson's talk about E-Prime at here & you can watch a video in which he discusses it here.


Anyway, I practiced talking & thinking in E-Prime today as I walked my dogs. I found it an interesting & formidable challenge. I had to correct nearly every sentence I thought of or uttered! "Is" permeates my speech & thoughts to an alarming extent!

I found it easiest to speak in E-Prime when I talked slowly & deliberately with myself & th dogs. I often corrected myself, even then, but at least I took th time to work it out. Later on, I visited my friend Chase at a coffee-shop where he works, & when we had a conversation, I found myself completely throwing E-Prime out th window. I couldn't hold a "normal" conversation while constantly monitoring every sentence & revising it in my head. I tried & failed miserably.

RAW & others suggest that by changing this pattern of thinking, one can see th world more clearly & strip away one's assumptions & unconscious dogma. I feel up to th challenge. My goal remains to think in E-Prime by th end of th year, but if I can speak mostly in E-Prime by then, I will consider my work a success.


In at least one instance, I found it helpful & insightful to reformulate in E-Prime. I love my dogs, but sometimes I get frustrated with them. Sometimes, they sniff around looking for poo to eat in th snow. I don't want my dogs to get sick, so I try to stop them, but sometimes they continue & I lose patience. I got annoyed with one dog today & muttered something like:

You're terrible; you think th outside world is a salad bar!

Obviously, I didn't really believe that th dog "was terrible." Anyway, I thought about how th sentence would translate into E-Prime:

I find you terrible.
You seem terrible.
I think of you as terrible.


Immediately, th agent of thought comes into th light: me. My reworded statements immediately reflect th fallacy of th speaker. Nothing can "be terrible." Th terribleness of th dog existed only in my head. I applied my own grumpiness in that moment to something outside of me, & came out looking rather foolish.


Many consider E-Prime a completely different language than English. I can understand why as I look at normal, everyday, idiomatic expressions & ways of talking that an E-Prime speaker must change. I will list some difficult examples:

How to introduce oneself.



Th usual ways:
My name is Andrew.
I'm Andrew.


Some E-Prime alternatives:
People call me Andrew.
My birth certificate says Andrew.
My name reads as Andrew.
I think of myself as Andrew.


Yuck.

It might work best to turn th introduction into a command:
Please call me Andrew.

That still seems awkward, tho.

How to locate oneself.



Th usual ways:
I'm at Michigan & Chestnut.
I'm located at Michigan & Chestnut.


Some E-Prime alternatives:
I stand at Michigan & Chestnut.
You can find me at Michigan & Chestnut.
Look for me at Michigan & Chestnut.
I find myself at Michigan & Chestnut.


Some of those would work in certain contexts, but all potentially sound awkward.

How to indicate th date or time.



Th usual ways:
It's 1:23.
It's Thursday.
Tomorrow's Friday.


Some E-Prime alternatives:
Th clock reads 1:23.
Th calendar considers it Thursday.
We call tomorrow Friday.


None of those sound idiomatic at all.


Anyway, I intend to proceed with this experiment. If I have success, I will come across as an alien to most people, or someone whose came to English relatively late in life. I find it easier to imagine a foreigner than a native-born American making some of those awkward statements above. Regardless of how much success I have, I may find this practice not worth continuing. It has its drawbacks. You can read some very intelligent & sound arguments against it here. I don't necessarily consider E-Prime "better" than English or more valid, nor do I necessarily agree with all th statements of its proponents. However, I consider th exercise of studying it very worth pursuing.


One last note. Th Isbe in th title of this post refers to a character I thought of that has remained in th back of my mind for a while now. Th name combines is & be, & represents a personification of normal English speaking patterns using to be forms. I have intended to use th character to illustrate th dangerous thinking patterns that reliance on to be forms can foster. Some day. . . .

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Work on What has been Spoiled

New Year's Resolutions


[that I came up with this afternoon whilst walking my beagle in th snow]



  1. every single day, further my development of self-awareness & self-discipline.
  2. every single day, speak only th truth - speak not lies - learn to think in E Prime.
  3. every single day, actively embrace with joy (& never with terror) th absurdity of th universe.


That seems a good beginning.

Ah, I know of a hexagram from th Book of Changes that fits this "resolution" game:

18. Ku
WORK on WHAT has been SPOILED [DECAY]



Work on what has been spoiled
Has supreme success.
It furthers one to cross th great water.
Before th starting point, 3 days.
After th starting point, 3 days.

¤

Th wind blows low on th mountain:
Th image of decay.
Thus th superior man stirs up th people
& strengthens their spirit.

Monday, December 31, 2007

Shortspeak for Intervals of 31tET

I expect at least (& probably at most) one reader to have interest in this:

Shortspeak for Intervals of 31tET



scale degreecentslongnameshortname
00perfect unisonprsu
139greater unisongosu
277lesser toneleto
3116minor tonemito
4155neutral tonenuto
5194major tonejato
6232greater tonegoto
7271lesser thirdledi
8310minor thirdmidi
9348neutral thirdnudi
10387major thirdjadi
11426greater thirdgodi
12465lesser fourthlefo
13503perfect fourthprfo
14542greater fourthgofo
15581lesser tritoneletr
16619greater tritonegotr
17658lesser fifthlefi
18697perfect fifthprfi
19735greater fifthgofi
20774lesser sixthlexa
21813minor sixthmixa
22852neutral sixthnuxa
23890major sixthjaxa
24929greater sixthgoxa
25968lesser seventhlevu
261006minor seventhmivu
271045neutral seventhnuvu
281084major seventhjavu
291123greater seventhgovu
301161lesser octaveleco
311200perfect octaveprco



Some explanation: Here I have tried to create a logical, internally consistent way to refer to th various intervals of th microtonal division of th octave into 31 steps (as opposed to th more common 12 steps), 31-tone equal temperament, or 31tET.

Each interval "shortname" I've devised has exactly two simple syllables of two letters to facilitate its easy & speedy utterance. I have taken a set of common names for th intervals already in existence & used them as a jumping-off point. You'll notice I've done away with th words subminor, supermajor, diminished, & augmented in favor of th more consistent lesser & greater. In a system with more notes, those types of distinctions could prove important, but I believe it gets in th way here, so I've simplified.

Below I have listed th two-letter particle words. In each case, at least one prominent letter (often two) of th original word you will find in its particle. You'll notice that I've changed some vowels from th original words. I did this to ensure that th particles sound distinct from one another. I have made sure that all five vowels appear in th suffixes & prefixes. You'll also notice that I've reversed th order of letters from some of th original words. I did this to put each particle in consonant-vowel form, to allow it to function cooperatively with th other particles to aid pronunciation.

prefixes.
le- :: lesser.
mi- :: minor.
nu- :: neutral.
ja- :: major. Note letter reversal. You could pronounce it jah or jay, altho I prefer th former.
go- :: greater. I changed th vowel for variety.
pr- :: perfect. Pronounce it like per.

suffixes.
-su :: unison. Note letter reversal.
-to :: tone, as in second.
-di :: third. Note letter reversal.
-fo :: fourth.
-tr :: tritone. Altho it's three letters, tri also works very well, & may sound better to you.
-fi :: fifth. Pronounce like fee.
-xa :: sixth. I changed th vowel for variety.
-vu :: seventh. I changed th vowel for variety.
-co :: octave. Note letter reversal.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

manifesto - Druids of th Quantum Virus

manifesto
Druids of th Quantum Virus


People are meat-bots. Sometimes you just want to grab them by th sideburns & shake shake shake! But there are better ways to knock their socks off, to wake them up to th beauty & absurdity of th universe. . . .

Enter th Druids of th Quantum Virus!

Our mission: to give gifts of Chaos to those that need them. To gently yank potential humans out of their numb little bubbles. To illuminate. To befuddle!

Our method: to deliver our calling cards - original art, pictures, collages, poems, little bits of whimsy - to strangers on th street, by handing them out, leaving them where people will find them, mailing them like postcards, whatever we can devise within th limits of th law.

Printed on our gifts, you'll always find our symbol for consciousness renewal & th new aeon: th Quantum Virus. (See variants below.) Consider th QV a benevolent entity that helps us disorder as many minds as possible:


Enter You.

In order for this movement to work, it needs to spread. Make your own Viral Gifts & give them out to friends & strangers! Spread th word to everyone you know! Get in touch & get involved. I want to hear from you. Start Today!

~ Rev. Nimbus Quor ~ nimbusDQV@gmail.com

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Rev. Heathwaite. . !!

Cathartic Castaneda Day to you ALL. . !!

Guess who's been ordained a minister in th Universal Life Church!
I can now legally perform marriages, baptisms, funerals, & all sorts of other ceremonies I may dream up someday. Th U.S. government recognizes it. Pretty nifty, huh? Check out that website; it's legit, believe it or not. They actually ordain anybody in th world who asks. & I asked. Thank you Jesus. . !!

I've already started brainstorming for th religion I'm going to found now that I've received Reverendhood. Any thoughts? It will probably fall under "wacky", at any rate.

I hope you've enjoyed your December 25th (Discordian: Prickle-Prickle, Aftermath 67). I haven't done today much other than become an ordained minister. That counts as something, tho.

Now I have dishes to do.

I bless you, my children. . !!
Rev. Andr.

Monday, December 24, 2007

happy

Happy Werewolf Day!
Happy Van Gogh's Ear Day!
Happy Eve of Odin's Hunt!
Happy Jul!

to you.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

2007-23-07

Yes!
Tectonic 23 Day!
Humdingery HumanLight!

My beagle & I celebrated with Gnocci Tacos. Too much habanero, tho. O my.

~a

Saturday, December 22, 2007

sophie & xmas & tao te ching & not xmas

I've not done great work keeping you abreast of lifehappenings. For example, did you know about th new dog in my life? I shall describe her as a wee four-year old beagle bitch that we have renamed Sophie (formerly Gabby). She had hip surgery before we met her, causing her to often hop on th back right leg. So we also call her Hopper. She likes to sleep & make humans rub her belly. She has eight prominent nipples. She lives with us, meaning me, Tiffany, Jordan, our cat Vega, our other dog Sparki(e) (our Corgweiler), & our hamster named Rocko. Quickly, he has settled into happiness & harmony here, more or less. We like her bunches.

Sophie melts my heart.

I had intended to tell you about her sooner, but I wanted to wait until we found th cord for th digital camera. Adorable pictures of Sophie remain trapped for th time being.


I won't be coming home - to Troy, NY - for xmas. I miss my friends there, but since I couldn't get a whole week off, I decided to postpone a visit until th last week of January - into February.

& while I stay here in Chi-town, Tiffany, Jordan, & Sparki(e) all will travel to Vermont to spend xmas with their family (as they all originate in Vermont). They leave within th next three or so hours, in fact. They intend to drive thru th night & arrive sometime Sunday. So first they sleep to prepare themselves for a long night.

We exchanged xmas presents shortly ago. I gave Jordan two unvideo games (Munchkin Fu & Devil Bunny Hates th Earth) & Tiffany a DVD (Jason and th Argonauts). They gave me a CD (Th American Song-Poem Christmas), a DVD (Donnie Darko), & three books from th Oz series (Th Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Th Emerald City of Oz, & Tik-Tok of Oz - I've read those first two, but not th latter. I'm excited to reread & read).

All seem pleased with their new possessions.


I also bought today, with th help of an xmas gift certificate, a pocket-sized translation of th Tao Te Ching that my friend Ali recommended to me long ago by Stephen Mitchell. I read it with delight. Several chapters really moved me. In particular:

Chapter 26.

Th heavy is th root of th light.
Th unmoved is th source of all movement.

Thus th Master travels all day
without leaving home.
However splendid th views,
she stays serenely in herself.

Why should th lord of th country
flit about like a fool?
If you let yourself be blown to & fro,
you lose touch with your root.
If you let restlessness move you,
you lose touch with who you are.


This chapter stuck out because I saw myself in it. I could describe my behavior recently as "flitting about like a fool... letting myself be blown to & fro... letting restlessness move me," etc. I intend to take these two weeks of living alone & use them to regain "touch with who I am." I haven't lived alone in a while. I intend to cleanse myself & work on meditation.


Another thing concerning xmas. What should I celebrate this year? Th fictional birth of Jesus doesn't excite me much. I won't have Christians in my midst. Some Discordians have their own celebration on December 25 (altho they call th date 67 Aftermath):

December 25 (67 Aftermath): Santa Claus Day (O)/(DD). Celebrate the Patron Saint of Children. Honor the jolly old man who loves children, wears funny clothes, has no legal address, holds boys and girls on his lap, urges them to share their desires with him, offers them a candy cane, dreams of sliding down their chimneys, sneaks into their homes at night, watches them when they’re in bed asleep, then gives them a package to unwrap. (This holiday is also known as Christmas. It’s also known as Don’t You Think We’ve Gotten So Paranoid About This Whole Protect Our Children Thing That We’re Actually Harming Them and Ourselves Day).

So that option presents itself. How cheeky, yes?

Also, tomorrow happens to register as December 23rd, & since 23 registers as a particularly holy holy number in Discordianism, all 23s ought to register as holidays, don't you agree? I could celebrate a 23 day tomorrow. Of course, given th vast variety of calendars that humans have created over th years, most likely every day of th year has some connection to 23 & could thus register as 23 day. How festive, yes?

Of course, generally speaking, I choose not to honestly say, "I am a Discordian," so I will not. I needn't celebrate any Discordian holidays at all (altho I like to when I remember).

Xmas has its roots in pagan winter festivals. I could celebrate one (or more) of those. A quick wikipedia search reveals lots of options.

Sadly, I missed Zamenhof Day.

Ah, how about HumanLight! A holiday devoted to celebrating secular humanistic ideals! Not bad!

Ok, enough of this. If you have ideas for what Andrew (& th cat, dog & gerbil that will spend these next two weeks with him) should celebrate, please write a friendly fnord.

Your humble chaotic rambler of soorts,
Andrew

Monday, December 17, 2007

a 4th & 5th Poem of Three ! ! !

4 . porous tie trips ~Nim
5 . Triumphant, wrinkled calligraphy ~Jessi


Hooray!

(Now we're cooking with canola oil!)

Orphanage Show (& Poems of Three) ! ! !

! a l o h a !

Great fun & wonder equals th Orphanage, fun & wonderful indeed, & th place where I didst play mine tunes on th night prior to this moment for fun & wonder.

Amidst other fine bands & such (Division & Honore, Missing Score, Chicago Rose), I set a set of 34 minutes. Mine joy did seep!


New friends did I give words to - three wee words each - so that wee Poems of Three could find development. Here I show three such Poems of Three:

1 . bears do inspect ~Vinnie
2 . clustered dogs dynamic ~Mark
3 . beastly fnord mirror ~Zach


In time, I hope greatly to add new Poems of Three to your eyeballs for reading!

Th set I set:

.. feed th ghost > kiss me moose
.. 2G's > e blu apratus
.. ant lizrd dragn man [lyrics by SMarshall] > prikl prikl
.. stripes
.. how to ferment th colon
.. this ladybug
.. 25% mor monstr > chupacabra
.. 5 songs of fish

I will do more doings in upcomings, but I have yet to schedule. I will inform.

Gracious Lovely Anteaterish Diagrammatical Eggs,
Andr Nim

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Nimness @ Orphanage !! ! !!

A reminder:

Tomorrow I, Nodal Nim, do play mandosongs at th Orphanage!
!!!((( 643 W. 31st St., Chicago, Illinois 60616 )))!!!
www.theorphanagechicago.org


It's an all-ages non-profit artspace, & you will adore it!

I play alongside four other local bands : music goes from 7 pm - 1 am!
I don't know when I'll be on, but probably around 9....

$10 donation to get in & eat tasty veggie food.

Join me for mandogasmic ridiculousness !! ! !!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

I want to tell you about my SAMMICH.

Bread:
* oats
* groats
* brown sugar
* whatever else Tiffany put in it

Innards:
* peanut butter
* habanero chile (1/4 of one pepper)
* garlic
* red bell pepper (1/4 of one pepper)
* cumin
* Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Salute

Seasoning Ingredient List:
* onions
* black pepper
* celery seed
* cayenne pepper
* parsley
* basil
* marjoram
* bay leaf
* oregano
* thyme
* savory
* rosemary
* cumin
* mustard
* coriander
* garlic
* carrot
* orange peel
* tomato granules
* lemon juice powder
* oil of lemon
* citric acid

Grilled In:
* olive oil
* soy sauce

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

dogng about th UPTOWN

Hi hi!

I continue to do dogs. We walk from place to place & back to place. We lick each other (mostly them me). We clean up each other's poo (mostly I theirs). I can't believe this autospellcheck doesn't know th word 'poo'!

(( But I have no trouble believing that it doesn't know th word 'autospellcheck'. ))

I had more dogs to walk than ever today. I had no time to breathe & I had to do multiple dogs just to keep up. I enjoyed it, tho, & it will pay.

Three dogs at once I found an interesting challenge. Little dog continually tried to hump medium dog (I guess he felt th need to compensate for size?) & big dog continually tugged everybody everywhere. All survived, even me.

I basically work alone, which I've never really done before. I drive to people's houses, nab their dogs, walk 'em, & put 'em back. Then I do it again. I run into people on th street ("Wow, those are big dogs! Are those Great Danes?"), but I don't have any co-workers to speak of, just two bosses that I call twice a day to check in with.

So I talk to th dogs. & myself. I also sing to them, when nobody's around. In a few months, maybe I'll have recorded an album of odes to my canines.

(( Or maybe I will have checked into an asylum. ))

I consider myself fortunate to work close enough to Northwestern University to pick up their campus radio station, WNUR. I've never found listening to th radio so pleasing. Every morning they play whacked out jazz until noon. After that, I find it hit or miss, but I always enjoy it better than any Clear Channel station on this planet.

(( On two separate occasions, I caught them playing Steve Reich's, 'It's Gonna Rain'. ))

I have one dog that drives me crazy: Tallin, a retired greyhound (still a greyhound, but retired from racing, presumably). He suffers from separation anxiety, they say, since his owner-mama started working again after some time at home unemployed. People who don't qualify as 'owner-mama' can only get him to cooperate by bribing him with salami. I do this, but he doesn't trust me. He lets me know this by barking & nipping at me. Every day. Without fail. Presumably, he does it to keep me in line, let me know who plays th boss, warn me not to try any funny business. But it makes me crazy! If I do th wrong thing, he could hurt me. No dog has ever made me this nervous.

I suppose my bulldog experience from two weeks ago (finally got th last stitches out this morning, but it remains a frightful sight) doesn't help my state of mind. I'd hate for two dogs to maul me. Anyway, everyone has been showing me support - bosses & owner-mama - & I continue doing what I can. His last walker eventually had no troubles. It just takes time.

But other than Tallin scaring th bejeebus out of me, dog-walking goes fine!

So now you know.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

some say his name is Tallin

Who is this greyhound-faced god? "His name is 'Everlasting Devourer,' and he liveth in the Domain [of Fire] (the Lake of Unt). . . . who feedeth upon the dead, who watcheth at the Bend of the Lake of Fire, who devoureth the bodies of the dead, and swalloweth hearts, and who voideth filth, but who himself remaineth unseen. . . . "Hail, Lord of Terror, Chief of the Lands of the South and North, thou Lord of the Desert, who dost keep prepared the block of slaughter, and who dost feed on the intestines [of men]!"

~ a bit of terror from th Egyptian Book of th Dead.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

boat toast

Somebody wants updates. I'm sure somebody wants them.


Nimlys:

1 :: Last Wednesday I played Heartland Cafe open mic for th first time. I enjoyed it! but only got to play one song. By friendly request, I played 'vejtbls u'v nevr herd of'.

2 :: Und Last Thursday I played at th glorious Gallery Cabaret & had great fun bribing people with haikus to get them on my email list! Hooray for $4 pitchers of booze & nice human beings big & small.


Dogs (Doogs):

I walk them. Such is my new jobby.

An event took place on th first day of my job, that known as Monday. I encountered a 'bad dog,' as they say, a bulldog named (no lie) Spike who decided to get a good chomp on my right hand, completely unprovoked. He bit hard (as bulldogs will do), & now I have eight pretty blue stitches in this fortunately still five-fingered hand of mine. No great damage did Spike do, but enough to necessitate sutures, antibiotics, & a trip to th ER.

But I still love doggies & continue to walk them.

Many a wonderful dog do I walk - from gargantuan Great Danes (my largest clocks in at 200 plus pounds!) to a teeny-tiny Shitzu (or something) puppy that I (with my wimpy mandolin arm) could probably throw quite high into th air. (I will not attempt to make this happen; do not fear for th adorable puppy who chases his tail & fights his reflection!)

I am still in 'training,' since I cannot grip leashes with my damaged but faithfully healing right hand. Soon, tho, perhaps tomorrow or Friday, I will work alone, driving from house to house, walking fantastic canines & cleaning up their poo.

This job floats my boat.

Monday, November 5, 2007

multiverse spatterings

Hi there, multiverse, how do you do?

I sit on Monday afternoonish eating a home-made burrito with mushrooms & tarragon. My sweet Corgweiler friend Sparkus sits in whiny beg. Th Captain wails away 'Ice Cream For Crow'. All things go.

As of a week minus a day ago, I no longer work for Greenpeace. I enjoyed my time there, but th time came for newthings. Approaching hundreds of grumpy strangers for money every day grew wearisome.

I spend days diddling on my mandolin & job-fishing. I scheduled an interview today at a dog walkery not far from my bedside. On th Saturday that cometh next, return to walkery I will. Walkin' makes money. I like pupples.

In meantime, I seek opportunities for mandolinnery. I want to do many shows all of times. I want friendlies to do visitations & dance. Suchness makes happiness. Isness makes fallacy.

I will assemble information about th upcomings when they upcome.

Many Lovely Glove Spatterings,
Andrew th Nim