THAT'S RIGHT! I'M A GREENPEACE ADVOCATE!

Two days ago, I discovered all my job leads had fallen thru th proverbial cracks & I found myself back at square effing one. No record store retail; no full-time dog-walking for rich white people in fancy neighborhoods. In fact, I found myself discouraged & miserable about it; yesterday, I ignored th problem & slept until 2:00.

But today I remembered a pretty girl who stopped me on th street a few weeks ago soliciting for Greenpeace. I told her I'd love to join but I can't afford extra expenses, since I quit my job & all my bills lie in wait to ambush me at th end of th month. She rocked, though; we talked about jobs a bit & she said, "By th way, Greenpeace is hiring..." That got th wheels turning.

So today I called Greenpeace at 11:00ish (after having applied for another coffee-sloshing job that I didn't feel too thrilled about), & I got invited to a group interview at 1:00. I zipped down to my apartment (from Tiffany's), washed up, threw on a tie-dye shirt for good karma, & got all sweaty again biking downtown for th meeting. Th girl who interviewed us rocked & got me excited about environmentalism (something I've always felt strongly about anyway). Th other three job-hunters there also rocked. We had some good conversations between th one-on-one interviews. Two of them have come from Ireland for th summer (but they haven't read any James Joyce), and th other comes from Michigan. So after each of us finished our one-on-ones, we all four got hired in one giant ecstatic moment of relief!

I start training on Monday! Hot dog!

On th bike ride home, a guy came up to me, "Hey, man, would you like to join Greenpeace!" & I was all like, "I am one of you, my man, I just got hired today!" So I introduced myself to my new comrade Drew.

Kickin'!

th sevens.

Yesterday, I played my seventh open mic at Gallery Cabaret, & th day prior I played my seventh at Hotti Biscotti. I've been experimenting with a new format of Nimsong-cover-Nimsong, since I've practiced some covers I enjoy & seem to fit what I do.

Hotti Biscotti:

.. slip on broken violence now [co-writer: NBorden]
.. Ella Guru [cover of a song by Captain Beefheart]
.. 5 songs of fish

Gallery Cabaret:

.. 2G's [request]
.. Ella Guru [ditto]
.. glockenspiels

I've laid back from my daily divinations in favor of studying & applying th Aztec 260-day calendar called th tonalpohualli, which I find intensely fascinating. Explore it yourself & find joy.

All my potential jobs have fallen thru th cracks, except perhaps for professional guinea-pigging at th University of Chicago (as a research test subject getting injected with mystery drugs & such). So I started from scratch today & got an interview at Greenpeace doing "Face-to-face street fundraising". In fact, I need to get moving so I can make it there on time.

4 - Tecpatl (flint knife)

~a

a goofy plaid tie with a shirt that did not warrant a tie

I am cute. Flattered, also, & taken, for th record.

2 - Cozcacuauhtli (vulture)

My fortune (& also yours), based on th current day on th sacred Aztec day-count (tonalpohualli) calendar, taken from azteccalendar.com:

2 - Cozcacuauhtli (vulture)



Day numeral Ome (2):

Tlaltecuhtli, Lord of Earth, personification of the earth, is the provider of the Spirit Soul (Teyollia) for days with numeral 2 (ome).
The volatile for this day is the Green Hummingbird (Quetzalhuitzilin).



Daysign Cozcacuauhtli:

The protector of day Cozcacuauhtli (Vulture) and the provider of the Shadow Soul or Tonalli is Itzpapalotl. Cozcacuauhtli signifies long life, wisdom, good counsel and mental equilibrium. It is a good day to confront the discontinuities, disruptions, failures and deaths one suffers in life. Cozcacuauhtli is a day for tricking the Trickster.

th Gods of Certification Tests (& 111th st)

Going on three hours of sleep, I drove my desperately-in-need-of-an-oil-change-&-tune-up Honda way th hey down to 111th st for a teacher certification test in th area of music (kallisti free, this kind). Indeed, fatigue I felt, although also zippy zaps from my lapsang souchong, but I survived (did well, I think) & have th gods to thank. You see, I rolled a 1 (again) on a d6, selecting by chance a reality-tunnel to see thru today: Paganism. So I traveled Long & South whilst praying to (amongst many): Apollo, Eris, Pan, Baphomet, Orpheus, Ra, Isis, Horus. On th return trip, I added Thoth & Odin. You may recognize a Western bias here, & I would surely agree that I have much work to do on introducing myself to non-Western god(desse)s. So that will constitute a project for this afternoon: starting with some African Yoruba Orishas (here) & moving on th Mayan pantheon (which I began studying last night in point of fact; did you know th Mayans worshiped a goddess of suicide named Ixtab, whom we often find depicted hanging from a tree, partially decomposed? How deliciously morbid!).

Hail Ixtab!

Eris inspired some beautifully ridiculous bureaucracy today, when a couple hundred or so teachers & teachers-to-be were not allowed to enter th testing facility before exactly 7:30 (although I think it was later than that) & were forced to stand huddled in th pouring rain right outside th door. (Hail th Rain Gods, all zillion of them!) Th testing experience provided lots more opportunities to witness th utter confusion & discord that inevitably accompanies our beautifully ridiculous bureaucracy. Even th spelling of th word bureaucracy exudes utter confusion & discord, don't you think? Hail Eris!

Lastly, I want to mention th spec-effing-tacular show that George & Tiffany & I attended last night. Th wondermagickal Fiery Furnaces performed at th Empty Bottle, rather near my apartment, I popped my mama-effing brainhole, I swear to Yahweh! They have a way of shattering their songs to a billion pieces & piecing them back together in inspiring ways with beautiful chaotic glue. They made me want to throw all my songs off th Sears Tower & write new ones! In a good way! Hail Furnaces!

thingus flakes

Interesting tarot-flakes on this day:

Thesis ::: XVIII th MOON
Antithesis :: I th MAGICIAN
Synthesis : PAGE of pentacles

A simple three-card spread I could do in th library whilst waiting for computer-time without causing a ruckus. It shows a divine inner battle: illusion/fantasy/daydreams VERSUS concentration/consciousness/power. Well opposed, both important to me at this time, thesis & antithesis. So our third card, synthesis, shows us th sexy resolution: earth of earth, trust, prosperity, pragmatism. Rather closer to th antithesis than th thesis, but affected somewhat by th innocence implied by th MOON. A good pretty thingus.

[[[[[ Note also th utterly great undeniable synchronistic et cetera reappearance of th Moon & th Magician, which popped up on Bloomsday (last Saturday) as secondary & unconscious factors of estufas. ]]]]]

I leave you with a chapter from Gertrude Stein's Tender Buttons:

A PIECE OF COFFEE.

More of double.

A place in no new table.

A single image is not splendor. Dirty is yellow. A sign of more in not mentioned. A piece of coffee is not a detainer. The resemblance to yellow is dirtier and distincter. The clean mixture is whiter and not coal color, never more coal color than altogether.

The sight of a reason, the same sight slighter, the sight of a simpler negative answer, the same sore sounder, the intention to wishing, the same splendor, the same furniture.

The time to show a message is when too late and later there is no hanging in a blight.

A not torn rose-wood color. If it is not dangerous then a pleasure and more than any other if it is cheap is not cheaper. The amusing side is that the sooner there are no fewer the more certain is the necessity dwindled. Supposing that the case contained rose-wood and a color. Supposing that there was no reason for a distress and more likely for a number, supposing that there was no astonishment, is it not necessary to mingle astonishment.

The settling of stationing cleaning is one way not to shatter scatter and scattering. The one way to use custom is to use soap and silk for cleaning. The one way to see cotton is to have a design concentrating the illusion and the illustration. The perfect way is to accustom the thing to have a lining and the shape of a ribbon and to be solid, quite solid in standing and to use heaviness in morning. It is light enough in that. It has that shape nicely. Very nicely may not be exaggerating. Very strongly may be sincerely fainting. May be strangely flattering. May not be strange in everything. May not be strange to.

Gallery Cabaret OM 5 & 6

In one former moon (day of Thor) did I go to th Gallery Cabaret open mic. Whilst waiting long hours to do doings (Nim 13th on list), Tiffany & I collectively penned some absurd slash obscene poems which I later recited to intro songs. My set, then:

Let's fuck in ketchup & bunnies! Ecstatic licorice flakes strut simmering, sticky, supple stubble surrounding pink onions. My bosoms jump & swim poodles sleep shuck. Stop billowing piss heads & blood popsicles, Tusk, tisk, tassle, slop bottoms. BLAAAAARGH!

.. this ladybug

Knapsack nipping teeth plus teeth AND spore's nipples - wascally, oh! Superfresh ribs, humble (Brap) clocks droop dangles diddly. Smug hoop 'cumbers smooch smilingly poop plasters & nudes burn fingeress flutes. Zip under sundries, sundials, sunken SNEAKY BEASTIES, nasties, nuptuals & foof-fart blisters. Puppies, puppies, pupples.

.. Unison [cover of a song by Björk]

Green gulch toads fizzle spiffingly but BEWARE, fluffy fooflings fuck & slurp petroleum bubbles. Gentlemen cork your kitties; ladies lip bacons. Swampy swimming pimples glue butter fuckings, YES! Occult cockroaches noodle nuzzle napes, pop!

.. hulo, wil u be my Sheep?

FNORD

Furthermore, I shall tell you this: I forgot to mention my playings at same open mic in week prior! Last week, did I play another three songs? Yes:

.. prickle prickle
.. Philosophy of th World [cover of a song by th Shaggs]
.. 2Gs

biting thru

21. Biting Thru

th JUDGMENT
Biting thru has success.
It is favorable to let justice be administered.

th IMAGE
Thunder & lightning:
Th image of biting thru.
Thus th kings of former times made firm th laws
Thru clearly defined penalties.

I think this means I should make a particular phone call this afternoon. I will proceed in making it.

a three-card tarot

Card 1: Where am I physically?

VII of Cups - WISHFUL THINKING - CHOICES - DISSIPATION


Card 2: Where am I mentally?

IV of Wands - CELEBRATING - FREEDOM - EXCITATION


Card 3: Where am I spiritually?

ACE of Wands - CREATIVE FORCE - ENTHUSIASM - CONFIDENCE - COURAGE

heart's tone

Finnegans Fortune, page 454:

A word apparting and shall the heart's tone be silent.

5 arcana of Isabelle - 4 cups & a sword

My 5-card spread of th day (Isabelle Spread):

1 : positive aspects of the situation.

IX of Cups : * WISH FULFILLMENT * SATISFACTION * SENSUAL PLEASURE

2 : negative aspects : what are the obstacles ?

IV of Cups : * SELF-ABSORPTION * APATHY * GOING WITHIN

3 : How I see the situation myself ?

X of Cups : * JOY * PEACE * FAMILY

4 : what is going to happen in the short run.

II of Swords : * BLOCKED EMOTIONS * AVOIDANCE * STALEMATE

5 : what is going to happen in the long run.

QUEEN of Cups * LOVING * TENDERHEARTED * INTUITIVE * PSYCHIC * SPIRITUAL

666. . . 6?

As a strange conclusion to yesterday's Beastly Mysterees, I drew a single tarot card today & it turned out to be VI of Wands, yesterday's missing six! How perfectly interesting! Check out th meaning of this one: triumph, acclaim, & pride. Sounds like a delightful thingus.

Bloomsday Mysterees

Happy joyous Bloomsday, friendlies! Tomorrow will be th 103rd anniversary of th events of Ulysses - th epic experimental novel by James Joyce - & in Dublin, this means celebration! Also here, in th chair I sit in, I smile to think of it (& wish I were in Dublin listening to a tipsy Irishman reciting it).

(It's named Bloomsday after th main character, Leopold Bloom.)

Eric Fauss & I have begun a long-distance two-man book club of sorts, & find it very awesome that our reading of th book coincides with Bloomsday. Another Eric, this one my uncle, sent a message to his buddies wishing all a happy Bloomsday. So many happy Bloomsdays & Erics do I wish upon all with fervent jubilations!

666 & secrets revealed.

Th tarot spread in th post below represents th first that I have done. I ran out of time to provide any interpretation, but here's my highly amateurish analysis:

Th heart of th matter? Innocence, childhood, as represented by th VI of Cups. I take this to refer to my work with children - with teaching - an important thing to me. Opposing me - illusion & fear, as represented by th Moon. I have unconsciously manifested th Magician, a powerful entity of change & control, while consciously manifesting Strength, representing also patience & compassion. So inside, I desire to affect change, while outside I wait (& look for work in retail, etc.). My past in this department is perfectly represented by th X of Wands - overextending, burdens, struggles. That sounds like substitute teaching. Th future? Justice! Perfect. (I want Justice.)

How do I see myself? Th VI of Swords gives us th answer: somewhat depressed, recovering (from my subbing experience), feeling uprooted in this Chicago place. How do others see me? Th Devil! That means materialistic, ignorant, & hopelessly trapped. People don't understand me & my lack of concern for their illusions & I can see how some might spot th Devil in me.

Behind these identity concerns, we find my hopes & fears represented by th VI of Pentacles - concern with having & not having resources, knowledge, & power. This makes plenty of sense to me, as I struggle with control over bills & jobs. Now th exciting part, th outcome: th Tower! Th Tower represents sudden change, release, a humbling downfall, & a life-changing revelation. This card traditionally depicts two people falling to their death from a medieval tower that's just been struck by lightning!



It doesn't come with a guaranteed negative connotation, though. Th Tower kicks you in th eye, smacks you around a bit, brings change into your life (unexpectedly!) & generally disorders your personal universe. Sometimes for th better! I think I need to get a zap of lightning to th head, so I feel pleased by this doomy-seeming outcome.

One more thing: notice how many major arcana cards I received - more than minor. (Th major arcana have th cool names; th minor arcana come with suits: wands, cups, swords, & pentacles.) This supposedly gives th reading extra importance & such. I received one minor card from each suit, which seems pretty balanced. But look at th numbers. X of Wands, VI of Cups, VI of Swords, VI of Pentacles. 666! Th number of th Beast & Aleister Crowley! Notice that I also received th Devil (a major arcana card), further emphasizing th occult forces at work here. Perhaps Crowley (or his Holy Guardian Angel) is sending me messages in my tarot spreads. That's thoughtful of him. Thanks, Al, for creeping me out!

FNORD

I enjoyed that. I didn't think I'd find it so easy to make sense out of my first tarot spread. How encouraging! More to come in futures.

Celtic Cross on Bloomsday

I did my first Celtic Cross tarot reading this morn:

1 .. Primary Factor	VI of Cups
2 .. Secondary Factor	XVIII th Moon
3 .. Unconscious Factor	I th Magician
4 .. Past	X of Wands
5 .. Conscious Influence	XI Strength
6 .. Future	VIII Justice
7 .. You As You See Yourself	VI of Swords
8 .. You As Others See You	XV th Devil
9 .. Hopes & Fears	VI of Pentacles
10 .. Outcome	XVI th Tower

P.S. Happy Bloomsday!

bright-ruling ninny noodles

Today's cryptic Finnegans Fortune - from page 520:

Will you swear or affirm the day to yur second sight noo and recant that all yu affirmed to profetised at first sight for his southerly accent was all paddyflaherty?

A pushy request to disregard, recant "first sight" in favor of "second sight." I am told to officially state that all that I profetised (similar to prophesied?) is "paddyflaherty." But what is paddyflaherty?

A name. A pub.

Pad·dy (pād'ē)
n. Offensive Slang
Used as a disparaging term for a person, especially a man, of Irish birth or descent.

...–noun, plural -dies.
1. a rice field.
2. rice, esp. in the husk, either uncut or gathered.


Flaherty
Ir. Flaithbheartach, lit. "Bright-Ruler."

Also, Flaherty is a common Irish surname; in fact, my smiteful friend Ameh is a Flaherty.

So I am instructed to claim that my "first sight" (noo?) is derogatory Irish alcoholic bright-ruling rice linked in some way to my smiteful friend Ameh. This doesn't seem so bad. I like Ameh, rice, alcohol, etc. I claim that my first sight is indeed paddyflaherty of th highest order!

Noo?

Maybe Joyce refers to Ninny Noodle Noo, a toy company (that had probably not existed yet) "stocking heirloom quality Ostheimer toy figures for children and adult collectors; high quality wooden role-play and traditional toys; stylish children's clothes in the softest certified organic cotton and organic toiletries."

That must be it! I hereby "affirm the day to [my] second sight noo." With noodles.

th K.

I just figured out what th K stands for in magick & musick! Certainly, it must stand for KALLISTI!

Yayk!

Mouth's Receptive Cradle

27. th Corners of th Mouth (Providing Nourishment)

th JUDGMENT

Th corners of th mouth.
Perseverance brings good fortune.
Pay heed to th providing of nourishment
And to what a man seeks
To fill his own mouth with.

th IMAGE

At th foot of th mountain, thunder:
Th image of providing nourishment.
Thus th superior man is careful of his words
And temperate in eating & drinking.

Nine at th beginning means:
You let your magic tortoise go,
And look at me with th corners of your mouth drooping.
Misfortune.

Nine at th top means:
Th source of nourishment.
Awareness of danger brings good fortune.
It furthers one to cross th great water.



2. th Receptive

th JUDGMENT
Th receptive brings about sublime success,
Furthering through th perseverance of a mare.
If th superior man undertakes something & tries to lead,
He goes astray;
But if he follows, he finds guidance.
It is favorable to find friends in th west & south,
To forego friends in th east & north.
Quiet perseverance brings good fortune.

th IMAGE
Th earth's condition is receptive devotion.
Thus th superior man who has breadth of character
Carries th outer world.

Six at th beginning means:
When there is hoarfrost underfoot,
Solid ice is not far off.

Six at th top means:
Dragons fight in th meadow.
Their blood is black & yellow.

So reads my I Ching for today. A reminder of nourishment seems helpful today. I slept well, worked out (yes, I do that sometimes), & played lots of nourishing music(k). However, my house lacks healthy foods; I will take th advice of th I Ching & pick up some groovy groceries after this.

I hope to get my magic tortoise back real soon.

How th Receptive will affect me after th Nourishment fully manifests, I cannot yet know. However, if I can fully manifest receptivity & follow (rather than lead), I will experience sublime success.

That sounds pleasant.

music(k) news

Zikes, I've forgotten to talk about my music(k)ings! I originally started this blog for th sole purpose of keeping track of my Nodal Nim & xenharmonics projects long ago. Well, now I tell th latest.


MAN OF MUSICKS EDWIN

I have begun musicking with a gentleman named Eddie. We express enthusiasm for dual sounds that please (slash disturb) th ear & spirit in near future times.


PLASTIC BOXING FOR BILLS

Upon th headstock of my mando, I attach a children's small plastic toy garden hoe with trusty rubber bands; to th flat end of th hoe I attach a small plastic food storage box with trusty duct tape; inside th food storage box I attach a cut piece of necktie for softening sound, again with trusty duct tape; into th box I place six dollars.

Thus I have created a tips box attached to my instrument! Why? For fun, for mobility, & to attract th eye. I busked with said box once last week - made one dollar & promptly lost it (I need to make sure th lid to my tips box stays shut whilst not accepting tips, or th wind robs me of dollars).


OPEN MIC AT HOTTI BISCOTTI

I did play last night:

.. prickle prickle
.. ant lizard dragon man (co-writer: S.Marshall)
.. th slipry toad
.. chupacabra
.. glockenspiels
.. e blu apratus

Certainty of this order of playing I have not.


ERISIAN ODE ASSEMBLAGES

I have done some putting together of a 23-songlet Erisian Ode of sorts & find myself pleased by th results at recent points in spacetime. I suspect I will have it finished & on myspace in near dates. Additional details of such thing follow in necessary moments in patience.

retreat & stagnation

33. Retreat

th JUDGMENT:
Retreat. Success.
In what is small, perseverance furthers.

th IMAGE:
Mountain under heaven: th image of retreat.
Thus th superior man keeps th inferior man at a distance,
Not angrily but with reserve.

Nine in th third place means:
A halted retreat
Is nerve-wracking & dangerous.
To retain people as men- & maidservants
Brings good fortune.


12. Standstill (Stagnation)

th JUDGMENT:
Standstill. Evil people do not further
Th perseverance of th superior man.
Th great departs; th small approaches.

th IMAGE:
Heaven & earth do not unite:
Th image of standstill.
Thus th superior man falls back upon his inner worth
In order to escape th difficulties.
He does not permit himself to be honored with revenue.

Six in th third place means:
They bear shame.

Thus will my day unfold. Not surprising. I've got some interpersonal conflict going on with a 10-year-old right now. Not wanting to make things worse, & having done enough, I have already chosen to retreat (from conflict, but stand firm in convictions). I'd like a resolution soon, but knowing th stubbornness of th parties involved, standstill & stagnation seems more likely. Oy vey.

No news on a job. Started (re)reading Ulysses for Eric's & my two-man long-distance book club this morn.

~a

16 & 87

I selected two chapters from Crowley's Book of Lies as today's daily divination: 16 & 87. I have no further explanation to offer.

16

 THE STAG-BEETLE

    Death implies change and individuality if thou be
      THAT which hath no person, which is beyond the
      changing, even beyond changelessness, what hast
      thou to do with death?
    The bird of individuality is ecstasy; so also is its
      death.
    In love the individuality is slain; who loves not love?
    Love death therefore, and long eagerly for it.
    Die Daily.



87

 MANDARIN-MEALS

    There is a dish of sharks' fins and of sea-slug, well set
      in birds' nests...oh!
    Also there is a souffle most exquisite of Chow-Chow.
    These did I devise.
    But I have never tasted anything to match the

                                 (?)

      which she gave me before She went away.
        March 22, 1912. E. V.

Note: In th book, a sigil appears in place of (?).

my work with onions

For today's daily divination, I selected four Tarot cards.

My concept: Each card represents one illusion which manifests in reality before dissovling & giving way to th next illusion (next card), which represents one level closer to th core of reality (or at least my reality for this day). With each card, we peel back one layer, like an onion. However, th fourth card, does not represent th "core of reality," just th deepest level we could reach - still just another illusion.

(We cannot reach th core of reality. In fact, we cannot say with certainty that such a thing exists.)

ACE of PENTACLES manifests, then dissolves, giving way to

IV: th EMPEROR, which gives way to

VII of CUPS, which gives way to

KING of WANDS.

So, while on th outside, I summon material force (A of P), under that, I summon authority & structure (E). Such activities give way to exploration of options & wishful thinking (VII of C). Finally, wishful thinking gives way to a bold, creative, fiery force (K of W). What that force gives way to, no one can say.

footsy five

My Finnegans for today, from page 255:

scaling five footsy five and spanning thirtyseven inchettes round the good companions

how very Sya

& another thing! I propose th use of th word Sya to describe something which fits th claim of Discordian Apostle Sri Syadasti that "all affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense."

When somebody says something to me & agree with it, I might be tempted to say, "That is true." Instead, I should say, "That is Sya."

Likewise, when somebody says something to me & I disagree with it, I might be tempted to say, "That is false." Instead, I should say, "That is Sya."

Thus will I succeed in remaining agnostic about th "essence" of th universe.

After all, nothing "is entirely true" or "is entirely false" when you look at it with an open mind. Instead, all things "are Sya".

[[[[[ Note that th claim that all things "are Sya" is itself Sya, as is this claim I am now making & all other claims that can be made about this claim or any other claim by anyone ever or nobody never. ]]]]]

jobbies

Th search for jobbies has commensed. One interview have I for th morrow at a record store & several question marks abound in times to come. More searching plan I for th doing in times proper. Such goes wills & vessels.

A fellow of musick-making potentials for noise & chaos shall later on this day visit me. I look eagerly forward to such things with vigorous joys.

I continue divining fortunes for each day, but not always reflecting on them. Without reflecting, I sort of defeat th purpose of such happenings. Yesterday, I selected from Peter Carroll's 8 Color Magicks: Black Magick, Death Magick. So I thought pleasantly about dying, invoking Osiris, Egyptian god of th Underworld, whom all male Egyptians eventually sought to become upon death. As I went about, I thought about th idea that all of spacetime constitutes one four (or more) dimensional solid matrix, & that although at this particular point in spacetime, I "am alive," at many more I "am not yet born" or "am dead." I thought in particular of th latter & took as an empowering mantra, "I am a dead man."

I enjoyed this, but could have taken it much further.

Today, I I Ching-ed & got:

15. Modesty

Th text of this hexagram I have not with me; it invokes positive ideas about finding balance: subtracting from areas of excess & adding to areas of lacking. Although I sometimes find th humbleness & modesty of Chinese (particularly Taoist) philosophy a bit much (see also Jesus), I find this fortune fitting for th day.

I have begun work on a card catalogue of many god(esse)s from many mythological sources to eventually use in divination slash ritual.

An interesting question I've encountered recently: what to make of this, Gottfried Leibniz's "Principle of Sufficient Reason":

"For anything that exists, there must be some reason why it exists, and why it exists as it does."

Causality. Determinism. We can trace this back: Why did A happen? Because of B. Why did B happen? Because of C. Why did C happen? Because of D. & on & on. Leibniz says that if we trace th "Whys" back far enough, it leads eventually to either GOD or UTTER ABSURDITY. He claims that th human mind cannot accept utter absurdity (it's too horrible to bear!) so there must be a God.

I disagree. Th human mind can indeed accept utter absurdity! (In fact, it can accept most anything you try to cram into it.)

Page 81 in th Principia Discordia puts it like this:

NONSENSE AS SALVATION

The human race will begin solving it's problems on the day that it ceases taking itself so seriously.

To that end, POEE proposes the countergame of NONSENSE AS SALVATION. Salvation from an ugly and barbarous existence that is the result of taking order so seriously and so seriously fearing contrary orders and disorder, that GAMES are taken as more important than LIFE; rather than taking LIFE AS THE ART OF PLAYING GAMES.

To this end, we propose that man develop his innate love for disorder, and play with The Goddess Eris. And know that it is a joyful play, and that thereby CAN BE REVOKED THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.

If you can master nonsense as well as you have already learned to master sense, then each will expose the other for what it is: absurdity. From that moment of illumination, a man begins to be free regardless of his surroundings. He becomes free to play order games and change them at will. He becomes free to play disorder games just for the hell of it. He becomes free to play neither or both. And as the master of his own games, he plays without fear, and therefore without frustration, and therefore with good will in his soul and love in his being.

And when men become free then mankind will be free.
May you be free of The Curse of Greyface.
May the Goddess put twinkles in your eyes.
May you have the knowledge of a sage,
and the wisdom of a child. Hail Eris.

parenthetical aside

My Finnegans Fortune for today, from Page 237:

(meaning Mullabury mesh, the time of appling flowers, a guarded figure of speech, a variety of perfume, a bridawl, seamist inso one)

Something for th OZ Lovers.

I Ching for Confusion 6

In case you wonder with utter wonderment, my I Ching fortune for today reads as 39. Obstruction changing to 45. Gathering Together [Massing].

Hexagram 39. Obstruction

th JUDGMENT:
Obstruction. Th southwest furthers.
Th northeast does not further.
It furthers one to see th great man.
Perseverence brings good fortune.

th IMAGE:
Water on th mountain:
Th image of obstruction.
Thus th superior man turns his attention to himself
And molds his character.

Nine in th third place means:
Going leads to obstructions;
Hence he comes back.

Six in th fourth place means:
Going leads to obstructions,
Coming leads to union.


Hexagram 45. Gathering Together [Massing]

th JUDGMENT:
Gathering together. Success.
Th king approaches his temple.
It furthers one to see th great man.
This brings success. Perseverence furthers.
To bring great offerings creates good fortune.
It furthers one to undertake something.

th IMAGE:
Over th earth, th lake:
Th image of gathering together.
Thus th superior man renews his weapons
In order to meet th unforeseen.

Six in th third place means:
Gathering together amid sighs.
Nothing that would further.
Going is without blame.
Slight humiliation.

Nine in th fourth place means:
Great good fortune. No blame.

I can think of no more appropriate hexagrams to receive on this day, th day of my Great Decision to stop subbing & find something that doesn't drain my spirit. Maybe professional dog-walking!!

ravings from a former cog

Important Decision Day, 'tis. Since December, I've found myself hopping all over Chicago subbing in [mostly crappy] elementary schools, grinding, grinding, grinding. Some days go well, some haunt me still, but ultimately, I feel like I do nothing. I come into a class, mess around with some 9-year-olds, survive th day, & then go home. I do no good.

With one exception: I spent a month in one class, filling in for a teacher who had broken his leg. I felt like I really helped these troubled kids during my time there, & I miss it a lot.

I don't get that feeling anywhere else.

So I've decided: I will do no more subbing unless a.) I get called to do music (really do it, not stand around & show videos!) or b.) I get called back to th school I spent so much time at already. I got all I wanted out of subbing in other situations - I learned much about classroom management & authority in general (some things I didn't want to know), & now I just spin my wheels, grind, grind, grind. I would rather slop coffee again.

I don't believe in traditional classrooms. They turn people into cogs to fit into th cold unenlightened machine called USA. They attempt to destroy real, real critical thinking, break th spirits of th rebels (this world needs rebels more than cogs, dammit!), make people stupid & complacent. If you can make it through public school, you can make it in a factory, grinding, grinding, grinding.

I need to work in music, not traditional classrooms, turning people on. Setting fires in th right hemisphere, cultivating creative chaos - inspiring human beings, not industrial robots. I can't do that as a sub, & it has worn me down. I've grown weary of schools & children & classrooms; I dread going back there. I feel myself burning out. I see it in so many teachers that have surrendered to th destructive forces of our consumer culture & ignorance. I don't want to live like that.

This will hurt my bank account (which already hurts - th meager pay I get for doing this only adds to th general degradation I feel). I will need to find coffee / temp work for th summer ASAP. I have willingness to do many things, but I need to get out of th schools.

So I plan to work on an updated resume later today. I want to start hunting for music teacher positions, also. By September, I expect to have Illinois certification.

(Why did I move to Chicago & not San Francisco?)

Ok, I have finished raving & ranting.

I feel good about this decision.

FNORD

I miss my New York friends super-lots. I will surely come home during th summer, probably in July. In th meantime, I invite all friends with th time & moolah to visit. Our couch welcomes you! I want to take you all out for Mexican food & used books!

Much love,
Androse