Isbe Dies a Very Slow Death. . . .

Hi!

So I began working on New Year's Resolution #2 today - "learn to think in E-Prime." For those who haven't heard of it (or had to listen to me blabber on about it yet), let me quickly introduce it.

E-Prime means th practice of removing all forms of to be from English speech: specifically, be, is, am, are, was, were, been & being, including their contractions, such as it's & I'm. Proponents of E-Prime claim that th practice of writing & speaking with to be introduces potentially unhealthy statements about objective reality & truth that lead to a false conception of th world. In contrast, they suggest that "use of E-Prime leads to a less dogmatic style of language that reduces the possibility for misunderstanding and for conflict."

You can read Robert Anton Wilson's talk about E-Prime at here & you can watch a video in which he discusses it here.

Anyway, I practiced talking & thinking in E-Prime today as I walked my dogs. I found it an interesting & formidable challenge. I had to correct nearly every sentence I thought of or uttered! "Is" permeates my speech & thoughts to an alarming extent!

I found it easiest to speak in E-Prime when I talked slowly & deliberately with myself & th dogs. I often corrected myself, even then, but at least I took th time to work it out. Later on, I visited my friend Chase at a coffee-shop where he works, & when we had a conversation, I found myself completely throwing E-Prime out th window. I couldn't hold a "normal" conversation while constantly monitoring every sentence & revising it in my head. I tried & failed miserably.

RAW & others suggest that by changing this pattern of thinking, one can see th world more clearly & strip away one's assumptions & unconscious dogma. I feel up to th challenge. My goal remains to think in E-Prime by th end of th year, but if I can speak mostly in E-Prime by then, I will consider my work a success.

In at least one instance, I found it helpful & insightful to reformulate in E-Prime. I love my dogs, but sometimes I get frustrated with them. Sometimes, they sniff around looking for poo to eat in th snow. I don't want my dogs to get sick, so I try to stop them, but sometimes they continue & I lose patience. I got annoyed with one dog today & muttered something like:

You're terrible; you think th outside world is a salad bar!

Obviously, I didn't really believe that th dog "was terrible." Anyway, I thought about how th sentence would translate into E-Prime:

I find you terrible.
You seem terrible.
I think of you as terrible.

Immediately, th agent of thought comes into th light: me. My reworded statements immediately reflect th fallacy of th speaker. Nothing can "be terrible." Th terribleness of th dog existed only in my head. I applied my own grumpiness in that moment to something outside of me, & came out looking rather foolish.

Many consider E-Prime a completely different language than English. I can understand why as I look at normal, everyday, idiomatic expressions & ways of talking that an E-Prime speaker must change. I will list some difficult examples:

How to introduce oneself.

Th usual ways:
My name is Andrew.
I'm Andrew.

Some E-Prime alternatives:
People call me Andrew.
My birth certificate says Andrew.
My name reads as Andrew.
I think of myself as Andrew.

Yuck.

It might work best to turn th introduction into a command:
Please call me Andrew.

That still seems awkward, tho.

How to locate oneself.

Th usual ways:
I'm at Michigan & Chestnut.
I'm located at Michigan & Chestnut.

Some E-Prime alternatives:
I stand at Michigan & Chestnut.
You can find me at Michigan & Chestnut.
Look for me at Michigan & Chestnut.
I find myself at Michigan & Chestnut.

Some of those would work in certain contexts, but all potentially sound awkward.

How to indicate th date or time.

Th usual ways:
It's 1:23.
It's Thursday.
Tomorrow's Friday.

Some E-Prime alternatives:
Th clock reads 1:23.
Th calendar considers it Thursday.
We call tomorrow Friday.

None of those sound idiomatic at all.

Anyway, I intend to proceed with this experiment. If I have success, I will come across as an alien to most people, or someone whose came to English relatively late in life. I find it easier to imagine a foreigner than a native-born American making some of those awkward statements above. Regardless of how much success I have, I may find this practice not worth continuing. It has its drawbacks. You can read some very intelligent & sound arguments against it here. I don't necessarily consider E-Prime "better" than English or more valid, nor do I necessarily agree with all th statements of its proponents. However, I consider th exercise of studying it very worth pursuing.

One last note. Th Isbe in th title of this post refers to a character I thought of that has remained in th back of my mind for a while now. Th name combines is & be, & represents a personification of normal English speaking patterns using to be forms. I have intended to use th character to illustrate th dangerous thinking patterns that reliance on to be forms can foster. Some day. . . .